Joon — Restaurant in Tysons

Wow! I don’t even know where to start. My friends and I had such high expectations, as one would when going to a restaurant run by a MICHELIN STARRED chef. However, we were left utterly disappointed in what I can only describe as a disaster.

The ambiance and decor are top-notch. I absolutely love the color theme of the restaurant; the turquoise-teal, blue, brown and beige combination is stunning. The decor is beautiful too. Even the washroom wallpaper is beautiful. The ambiance and vibe are very posh.

Our server was very sweet and very polite. In fact, all the employees were extremely polite and friendly.

However, that’s pretty much where the positive notes come to an end. The food not only did not meet my expectations, it was quite honestly a disaster. Here is the breakdown:

Starters: On the table starter set: Aside from the Sabzi butter, I can’t speak about any of the other items. The Sabzi butter was the bomb! I’m assuming it’s house-made. I would have loved to order a kilo of it to take home. It was so delicious! 😋🤤

The Kashk e Bademjun ($13) was sweet - it’s not supposed to be sweet. It lacked the texture it was supposed to have. It was also cold.

The Kale Kabob ($13) was not kale Kabob at all. As a Shomali, I feel offended. It has a bitter aftertaste. It lacked the sour taste, which I’ve been told is done on purpose to appease Americans as they don’t eat sour food. I think that’s a ridiculous excuse. I’m Canadian, and when you go to restaurants like North (Shomal) Restaurant, the kale kabob and all the Shomali dishes have the original taste, and Westerners and other non-Iranians enjoy the flavor all the same.

I hear that the lamb & pistachio meatballs ($17) were satisfactory. I didn’t eat them myself.

The Must e moosir ($12) was ok. It wasn’t anything special.

Main Entrées: Whole Roasted Branzino - $75: We ordered this for the table, and it was probably the only good dish we ate tonight. It seemed like it was fresh. The fish wasn’t overly roasted, so it felt juicy. But the stuffing had a bitter aftertaste. I didn’t like the stuffing, but the fish itself was good. Was it worth $75? Probably not.

The Shrimp Kabob - $40: The rice was a disaster. I don’t know if the chefs have ever had rice cooked in a Persian home because this isn’t it. Whatever the shrimp was marinated in carried a bitter aftertaste. It was not worth the $40 charge.

The fava beans rice with lamb shank - $24: It was below average. According to my friend, the rice was excessively salty and lacked quality, with an overpowering amount of fava beans.

The Koobide kabob - $24: My friend described it as average in terms of taste.

Desserts: The Gol o bolbol ice cream ($14) was a disaster of its own kind. It was essentially saffron and water frozen. There was nothing ice-creamy about it. It failed to capture the essence of traditional Persian ice cream sandwiches. It was bland. My friends described the love cake ($16) as “a basic cake with jam on top, lacking any special qualities.” My friends enjoyed their teas.

All in all, the restaurant is just an overpriced establishment that is charging you due to it being run by a Michelin Star chef. In terms of quality, there is none. It felt like the restaurant was not targeting Iranians because none of the dishes we ate tasted Persian.

I will admit that my expectations are higher than most because I am used to great quality Iranian food in Toronto, but this restaurant didn’t even attempt to present an authentic Iranian culinary experience. If you’re looking for authenticity and quality, I would not recommend this place, and in fact, I would advise you to look elsewhere.

Joon also lacks options for vegetarians and vegans. I would recommend adding dishes like mirzaghasemi or having the option to go meatless for some of the stews, or the vegetarian equivalents, so you can reach a larger clientele.

While I believe in second chances, I don’t believe I’ll be revisiting this restaurant in the...

TL;DR: As dinner progressed, I heard my ancestors laughing at me for being served nonsense under the guise of Persian foods, and literally saw my grandparents in my mind's eye as they shook their heads at the culinary hate crime placed before me.

Where to start with Joon? I heard only bad things about the food from Iranians, which made me curious. Not curious enough for the inflated prices, but curious. Then I got invited to go and figured if I'm not paying, what could go wrong?

First: The location basically forces you to valet park.

Second: The servers were good.

Third: THE FOOD, a Kafkaesque culinary nightmare.

Kashk-e Bademjan: I do not like bademjan, so I was expecting not to like this. To my surprise, I didn't hate it. Not because it was good, but because it DIDN'T IN ANY WAY TASTE LIKE BADEMJAN. This was not a promising start.

Persian Cucumber Salad: Fine. No idea why it's called Persian. Maybe just because of the cucumber type? Anyway, I have never eaten anything like that prepared by any family, friend, or restaurant here or in Iran.

Gormeh Sabzi: This is like, THE national dish, the most beloved food in Iran. I figured since no one else mentioned Gormeh Sabzi in their reviews, maybe it was a sleeper cell of excellence.

I WAS WRONG.

If you blindfolded me and fed me this food, it would take me 12 years to guess it was Gormeh Sabzi. Visually wrong. ZERO flavor from shambalileh. That's THE FLAVOR for Gormeh Sabzi. Without shambalileh you don't have Gormeh Sabzi.

On top of this, there was NO trace of dried Persian lime AT ALL. Not only was there zero trace of the lime physically present, there was also no trace of the flavor.

I first made Gormeh Sabzi when I was 10 years old. After skipping making it for 20+ years, I made it last year and every person who ate it, including random Iranians who smelled it at my office and I gave them takeaway just because, told me it was the best they'd had. One man left the country and SIX MONTHS LATER came back to tell me it was the best Gormeh Sabzi he'd eaten, then boasted he had 60 years of eating his favorite food and he wanted mine again, desperately. So I know my way around Gormeh Sabzi.

And that begs the question... WHAT DID I EAT AT JOON?

It was a dull, muddled flavor. On my second bite I flashed back to the 6th grade, when a friend of mine stayed for dinner on one of the days my mama bozorg made Gormeh Sabzi. And I was so excited, and she looked at the pot and asked "is that swamp water?" Once she ate, she loved it. But as I ate this sad, culinary hate crime, I felt like my friend all those years ago. But I was eating what she EXPECTED to eat. Not what she actually ate. I could see my mama bozorg in my head, her ghost looking at the table in disgust, her sharp words being expressed in a witty and cruel way in Farsi.

Rice: Not good. Tahdig is pretty but gummy instead of crispy. Rice is under-salted and under-buttered /oiled. My companion for the evening ordered Bahgahli polo and had my try it. This was similar, but at least it had baghahi.

Chicken Kabob: She made my try some of this, too. It was.... AWFUL. This should be a bright dish, with saffron, onion, and lime or lemon front and center. It tasted of the same gross, muddled herbs found in the Gormeh Sabzi. I could hear my baba bozorg laughing at me from his grave in Tehran, and I had a vision of us making kabob together when I was little. I've made it many times since, and I can guarantee my 11 year old self, as well as current day self, can crush this dish.

Saffron and Rose Water Ice Cream: At this point I just wanted to end the evening, but my companion insisted on bastani. I do love bastani. And saffron ice cream is my favorite. This was... fine. It was missing the iconic chunks of frozen cream inside. Otherwise it was creamy and the flavor okay. I did not eat the rose water cookie that came with it. I just didn't have it in me, and couldn't imagine any part of it being worth the calories. Why was I...

I was eager to try Joon after seeing it featured as one of only two restaurants in the DMV area to make NYTs Best of 2024 list—quite an impressive accolade. Unfortunately, the food fell far short of expectations. While the restaurant itself is beautifully designed and offers a cozy, elegant atmosphere, its location within an upscale strip mall was a bit jarring. (If you're not careful, you might end up in Tiffany’s while looking for the bathroom.) The vibe, however, is pleasant overall.

The cocktails were underwhelming, especially considering they cost nearly $20 each. I tried all three tequila-based cocktails, and the one with pomegranate was overpowered by a strong anise flavor that masked all the other ingredients. My friend had wine, which she enjoyed, though it wasn't made in-house.

Now, onto the food:

Lamb and Pistachio Meatballs: The flavor was decent, but the texture was off—gritty and mealy, likely from the pistachios. The dish was cloyingly sweet from the pomegranate molasses or syrup, and it desperately needed salt to balance the flavors. Fried Prawns: This dish had too many competing elements. The dried pepper garnishes buried the shrimp and made the texture soggy. A more minimalist presentation—perhaps the red sauce at the base, topped with the shrimp and a pickled pepper—would have worked better. The aioli was tasty, but overall, I've had a better version of this dish at an Italian restaurant. Seasonal Vegetable Hummus: This is where things really went off course. The taste was overwhelmingly acrid, with a strong charred flavor that made it nearly inedible. It almost tasted like it had been drizzled with butane. We couldn't even finish a few bites, trying to figure out what element was causing this flavor to come through.

For our mains, we both had kebabs—lamb and beef koobideh. My friend’s lamb kebab had a rubbery texture, and the spices only amplified the natural gaminess of the meat, making it unpleasant. My beef kebab was okay, but nothing special—I've had better at much more affordable local spots. The rice, meant to be a traditional accompaniment, was another letdown. It was oddly chewy, almost like eating fingernails, and it needed both salt and a lighter touch with the oil.

The best thing we had was a starter of bread and compound butter, feta and an herbaceous spread, which was complimentary.

It’s especially disappointing considering Joon’s recent recognition. Both my friend and I felt the food was overpriced and underwhelming. Even the couple seated next to us wasn’t happy with their meal and ended up sending a dish back, prompting the manager to speak with them and offer a replacement. After talking to them, we all agreed the food didn’t justify the price. We considered sharing our disappointment with the waiter, but didn’t want to rehash the experience with the manager in a busy restaurant on a Friday night. So, we reluctantly paid the $200+ bill and left resolved not to return. Going forward, I’ll be more cautious about trusting NYT recommendations when choosing new...