Bukkoji Park — Attraction in Kyoto

京都仏光寺公園での「納税エンターテインメント」体験記

今日、仏光寺公園にて、思いがけず「京都納税女王」と名乗る方にお会いする機会がございました。 その方曰く――「私は京都市民で税金を払っている！」。

なるほど…そうでしたか。それはそれは、なんと尊いことでしょう。もしかして、この公園の空気も、鳥のさえずりも、猫のひげ一本まで、すべて税金で所有なさっているのでしょうか。

私たちは数匹の野良猫を数メートル離れた場所から静かに眺めていただけでしたが、どうやらそれが「猫の食事を邪魔する大罪」にあたったようで、突然「邪魔！」と威厳あるお声を賜りました。

あの瞬間、私の頭の中ではBGMにドラムロールが鳴り、「納税パワー炸裂！」というテロップが浮かびました。

公園へのささやかな提案: 入り口に「納税者専用エリア」のゲートを設置し、入場時に王冠と杖を貸与 野良猫の首輪に「観覧には納税証明書をご提示ください」と明記 公園内に血圧計を常備し、「税金戦士」の血管爆発に備える

これから訪れる方への注意: • 京都市民税の納税証明を常に持参しましょう。呼吸にも使用許可が必要な場合があります • 「公園領主」と名乗る方を見かけたら、「課長様！」と声をかけ、深々とお辞儀しましょう • 京都市はこの現象を「新・文化体験プログラム」として売り出すべきです

最後に、この素晴らしい「教育的指導」をくださったご婦人に感謝申し上げます。 おかげさまで、 「公」園＝私有物 「和」文化＝お客様いじり 「納」税＝罵倒免許の取得 という、新たな日本文化の深淵を学ぶことができました。

追伸：税金はぜひ有意義に。例えば、「現代文明入門」講座の受講料などに… （あ、ちなみに調べたところ、その税額…ベンチのネジ一本分にも満たなかったそうですよ）

Taxpayer Entertainment” Experience at Kyoto Bukkoji Park

Today at Bukkoji Park, I had the unexpected opportunity to meet a self-proclaimed “Kyoto Tax Queen.” She proudly declared, “I’m a Kyoto citizen. I pay taxes!” Ah, I see… how truly noble. I suppose that means she owns not only the park’s air and the birdsong, but even each whisker on the stray cats?

We were simply standing a few meters away, quietly watching a few stray cats. But apparently, that alone constituted the “grave crime” of disturbing the cats’ meal. Without warning, she shouted “邪魔!” (“annoying”) with great authority. In my mind, a drumroll started, and a big caption appeared: “Tax Power—Activated!”

Humble suggestions for the park: Install a “Taxpayer Exclusive Zone” gate at the entrance, complete with crowns and scepters for entry Put tags on stray cats’ collars reading “Viewing requires proof of tax payment” Equip the park with blood pressure monitors to prepare for “tax warriors’” blood vessel explosions

Notes for future visitors: • Always carry your Kyoto tax payment certificate—sometimes even breathing requires authorization • If you encounter someone calling themselves “Lord of the Park,” loudly greet them as “Section Chief!” and bow deeply • Kyoto City should register this phenomenon as a “new cultural experience program”

Finally, my thanks to this lady for her “educational guidance.” Thanks to you, I learned that: “Public” park = Private property “Wa” culture = Scolding guests “Tax” payment = Purchasing a license to insult people

P.S. Please use your taxes for something meaningful—like enrolling in a “Modern Civilization 101” correspondence course. (Oh, and by the way, I checked… the amount you paid wouldn’t even cover a single screw on a...

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