The Limber Loft — Attraction in Columbus

My fiancé booked a couples’ reflexology + massage for us today, and it was the most unpleasant massage I’ve ever had. The foot portion was okay, but it certainly was not reflexology. It was the kind of foot massage a partner might give if they wanted to help you feel better, but not what I’d expect from a trained masseuse from any massage tradition. He never touched my heels, which were the part I had hoped for most. However, there was a pretty distinct language barrier so I didn’t attempt to re-direct him. Also, there were a bunch of stuffed animals and children’s toys scattered around the reflexology room, which I thought was kind of weird.

When we moved to the full-body massage room, I asked to have the female masseuse, which went fine. We were instructed by the front desk guy to put on sateen shorts (pink for me and blue for him) due to the “stretching” portion of the massage. This part didn’t happen, so I would much rather have not worn them.

The massage that followed was uncomfortable, frustrating, and ineffectual at best and painful at worst. My masseuse spent most of the hour working on my back, but it felt absolutely terrible. She massaged directly over bones, including repetitively running her own ulnar bone up and down, audibly grinding over my spine until I had to tell her to stop because it hurt. She braced herself at other times by putting part of her body weight into her hand…pressed right into my rotator cuff. She did this several times, an it really hurt. She used her elbows and dug into the flat part of my scapula (not the muscles around it), directly into the backs of my hip bones, and up and down like she was washing laundry using my ribs as a washboard. She got her fingers in between the muscles of my upper arm and somehow managed to press down into my humerus. This was also very uncomfortable.

I am thin and don’t have a ton of tissue, but other massage therapists have navigated this without issue. In addition, she sort of just ran her hands over my back with oil for a very, very, very long time, not really massaging. It just felt like she was trying to spread the oil around the whole time. She may have thought I wanted less pressure, but I just wanted her to stop exerting the pressure directly onto bony prominences and hurting me. I tried to tell her that what was hurting was the pressure she was putting on my bony parts specifically, but we weren’t able to communicate effectively. Ultimately, she just didn’t seem to understand the basic anatomy of massage, and where to put pressure without causing pain or injury.

When she got to my legs, she kept pressing down hard into the backs of my knees, pushing my kneecaps painfully into the bed. Nothing was equal bilaterally, and she did dramatically different things on one side of my body vs the other.

When face up and working on my neck, the masseuse again used her thumb - hard - right down the center of my cervical spine, grinding over it instead of pressing on the muscles to each side. She also heavily braced her thumb, during a different maneuver on my neck, against the large vessels of my throat. I again had to shift myself to indicate that I needed her to stop, because at one point it created an uncomfortable pressure in my head.

My fiancé’s masseuse cracked his back hard without asking, which caused him pain, and he had several of his own dislikes.

We have returned home and I am now more sore than when I went; in my left rotator cuff, along my spine, and in my knees. The people who massaged us today did not seem to have much of any real training, and it was a very unpleasant experience. I’ve been to more reflexology/Asian massage places than I could count, and usually have very nice experiences. But today was awful. We didn’t discuss this with the guy at the desk because we just wanted to get out of there. We both get massages at regular intervals and will absolutely never return to this place. I may even contact the health department or BBB, because they did some things that were pretty unsafe and...

Very friendly. I’ve been extremely busy and stressed at work the past month. I knew I hurt but with my deep tissue massage I discovered some spots that really hurt and might need orthopedic follow up. One I’ve known but didn’t realize how bad it’d gotten. One that surprised me. Anyways… I am sore today (day after) but I was really tight and I’m not shocked.

David’s English is currently limited, but it was nice to have a massage where there’s no conversation. I got a 2 hour combo. Very reasonably priced. They asked me how I wanted the timing of the foot massage and body massage. I chose to just do the feet for a half hour. They soak the feet in water with “Chinese medicine.” I only put that in quotes because I don’t know what it was and didn’t think to ask.

The massage was great. After I showed David my scar from my hip replacement, he was careful in that area. This morning I’m thinking that I’d like to have had more attention to the front of the body. The front of the shoulders, arms, and legs was given less time. Yes, I needed a lot of help on my back, but that’s the only negative thought I have about it.

I had a nice chat with the man I assume to be the owner. He’s married to a lady from China who also works there. No they did not meet at work. He was excited when he found out I have a bit of Chinese. Very little! I watch a lot of Asian drama… I can say thank you, sorry, why, who, husband, cat, no, I know/I don’t know, I like you/ I love you, 2020, are you happy, me, that’s me, you hit me (dramas!) … obviously I can’t hold a conversation. I’ve also learned pieces of that, Korean, Japanese, and Vietnamese. I don’t know if David noticed I thanked him a couple times, but the owner seemed to appreciate I thanked David in Chinese. Kinda cool… not something I can typically use in general public.

One warning. The plaza they are in now has three massage places. Make sure you go to Limber Loft. It’s in building A (on the left) towards the back next to an Indian hair salon (assumption based on store’s name). (There are multiple hair salons there as well… at least three.). Make sure you go to the correct place. The others may not direct you to the right place.

In summary, happy. Was able to get in same day. They also now have a massage chair. You can go without appointment and get your back, neck, and shoulders worked on. How I wish I’d known that sooner. Hours are 7 days a week. Don’t remember start times but they’re open until 9. Sunday they do open later than other days.

Try it once. I think you’ll...

To preface my review, the massage itself was spectacular, and I will be going back, but I don't think this place is for everyone. I have had dozens of massages in my life, but none like this one. The overall experience was ... strange.

I never actually talked to or saw the person massaging me. What I presume was the owner took me to the room and very briefly explained the protocol.

I was laying face-down when the therapist entered, and he (I realized it was a man when he had me turn over, toward the very end of my massage) never spoke to me. Never introduced himself. Never asked what type of pressure I wanted. Never asked if it was okay to touch hips/glutes (it was, but communication is still appreciated). The only words he ever said were, "Okay, you're done," abruptly after the timer went off. I never even filled out paperwork.

The technique of the massage was like nothing I had ever experienced. He massaged over top of the sheet for at least half of the massage (no lotion, no oils). It felt wonderful, though! There was some intense stretching involved. It almost felt more like a sports massage than one for relaxation (which again, was fine, because I prefer deep pressure and despise chit-chat).

They have you wear shorts they provide, which I thought was a little weird, but that's for the stretching part.

If the massage itself had not been an A+, I would likely not return, but as I mentioned, I have never had a massage like this in my decade of getting regular ones, and I REALLY loved it.

If you are looking for an elevated spa experience that feels personal with a therapist who is going to pro-actively communicate with you, this isn't the place for you. If you are looking for someone to go-to-town on your muscles in utter silence (like me), this...