Carnarvon Lodge Kirribilli (Monthly&Quarterly Stay Accepted) — Hotel in Sydney

Day 1: "Check-in" mute employee hands us keys with a blank, thousand-yard stare. Once we have scraped the bottom of our car off going up the steep rear driveway, my boyfriend asks "Is it safe to park our car with valuables in it here?" She laughs maniacally and walks away. I'll take that as a yes?||Find our room after a long walk through dimly lit hallways that seem to say, "stoppppp....go baaaaacck..." Large gooey stain on pillow case, very suspect. Is it toothpaste or...something else? Still optimistic, but the horrors of the lodge have not yet set in. We buy clean sheets and towels to avoid getting chlamydia and possibly TB from the bed linens. ||||Day 2: The only thing more inviting than the man horking up loogies for ONE WHOLE HOUR at 6:00 am in the bathroom next to our paper-thin wall, is the old man (who looked like he had made the lodge his permanent residence) letting a massive fart rip in the kitchen as I sat there on my computer (the only place you can get their sad excuse for wifi). He is unapologetic and I am inwardly screaming. ||||Day 3: 6:00 am-Oh, there's that lovely sound again The Man Who Horks Loogies. Am beginning to suspect that this may be a halfway house for recovering meth heads. But then again maybe the eight unwashed grisly old sea vets punching darts and yelling profanities at the TV are simply on a mid-to-late life vision quest to 'find themselves'. Make concerted effort to wear no makeup and dress like a slobby Diane Keaton to avoid leering gazes from the current inmates-I mean, residents. The otherwise subdued urine and sweat scent in the lodge is at an all-time unbearable level due to the recent heat wave in Sydney. It has now reached air quality equivalent to that of a day 5 music festival port-a-potty. The endless onslaught of disgusting smells wafting from the kitchen really helped too, adding to the quirky feel of this Australian Bates Motel. ||All that one can do is lay on the moldy mattress and accept the bleakness of the situation. ||Seriously, we were sweating like gypsies with a mortgage. ||||Still Day 3: Run into mute employee on way back from nearby restaurants and bars. She laughs in response to our greeting, of course. It is late because we would rather sit in the park under the bridge brown-bagging bottles of beer, with the potential of robbery, beatings, and rape than back at the filthy lodge, where the potential is much higher. Also, the hobos in the park have had more showers and penicillin shots in their lifetime than all the current residents of the lodge, put together. Spend many hours contemplating how such a HOLE could exist in the midst of such a beautiful neighbourhood. The place is surrounded by beautiful townhouses and idyllic urban scenery. Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink!||||Day 4: Salvation has come! This is our last night in the lodge. They do not make water hot enough to scrub off the layer of shame, disgust, and psychological pain that the lodge has left on me. It may be expensive, but at least the dude who runs the place is a total jerk. He makes you feel as welcome as a short curly hair in your late-night kebab. Also, the door was wide open at all hours of the night. At least we could rest easy knowing that the most dangerous vagrants were already inside with us. ||||All-in-all, I give it about a 10. Out of 10 million. And that's being generous. Our stay was three weeks ago-my apologies for the delayed review, but I was waiting on the Wifi at Carnarvon Lodge to...

I’d like to say that the lodge was wonderful but sadly it wasn’t. It was absolutely not as advertised on the website. The check out time was listed as 12 pm and that is one of the reasons I chose the location. However, when you make a payment and book, they email you that the check out time is at 10 am. I was going ion a cruise and listed.the cruise check in time to reflect the lodge’s supposed check out time. It didn’t match and I had to wait 2 hours to check in for the cruise. That was extremely inconvenient. The hosts post on the website that the venue is close to the cruise port, so they should know that some people need a check out time to reflect the cruise check in procedures. There were not that many guests and the rooms were small so I don’t see them needing 4 hours to clean them for the next guest.

Also, the room is absolutely not as pictured on the website. The bedding looks dated and made me feel uncomfortable . It looked dirty. The rooms are not special, just a place to sleep. It does have all the conveniences you need like bed lights, multiple electrical plugs including ones close to the bed. This is the only reason I have it 3 stars. I appreciated that. However upon comparing the plugs to other plugs, I also discovered that their plugs were not effective.

There was also absolutely no hot water in the shower every time I tried to take a shower. That was very disappointing and inconvenient.

I want to say that the hosts were very friendly and communicative prior to my arrival and when I was checking in but not so much when I was checking out. That’s a clear sign that they don’t care about their guests and only money. Someone knocked at my door at 10:05 am to vacate the premises. I’m sorry. I know it’s a business but that’s very rude. I was very respectful of the premises and cleaned up my space, leaving at 10:07 am. It was absolutely not necessary to knock on my door at 10:05 am. Also, they helped me with my luggage when I was checking in but couldn’t be bothered when I was checking out. I had to drag my suitcases downstairs as there was no elevator. When I went downstairs to wait for my Uber, there was no air conditioning in the lounge. Really? Come on… Take care of your guests and they’ll come back. I hate when business owners compromise their guests comfort for the purpose of saving money. I don’t see myself going back there. I hope they read this review...

Upon arrival after a long 30 hour trip from London and being told by our taxi driver we were staying in a lovely area, my spirits were high. ||arriving down a lovely little road full of beautiful town houses we then realised we were staying in the only one that looked like a dump. We walked down the dingy alleyway to the front door which was complimented by a wet mouldy mattress which stayed outside for our entire trip with no signs of getting moved. We entered through the front door which was wide open to not be greeted by anyone. You then have to navigate through this dimly lit dungeon (supposedly a lounge). There is then a notice on the door of what I can only presume is an office saying call this phone number and ask for Ransom. |This is not ideal for someone who’s come from abroad not to mention my phone wasn’t working. Then a man in the kitchen which was opposite said office said I could use his phone which was handy because if he had not have been there we would most likely have slept in the kitchen all week. (However this wasn’t far off what the room was like). After attempting to call Ransom 3 times he finally picked up I told him I was here to check in but gave him my name although it was booked in my girlfriends but don’t worry this wasn’t a problem because he didn’t care he just gave me a key said “room upstairs” and walked off that was it didn’t see another member of staff all week. |Once finding our room we were welcomed with spunk stained sheets and a disgusting bathroom. |There is no lock on the door or windows, no air con only a fan, the WiFi had Poundland connection and the towels stunk of mould. |One positive the location is nice and a lovely walk into Sydney over the bridge....