Marram — Hotel in Town of East Hampton

The promise of luxury was there. The location ideal. We were so excited for a weekend away and couldn't wait to arrive at the Marram. Ahhh... but sheer and utter disappointment awaited us! Let me walk you through our 2-star experience:

The Parking

There are less guest spots than there are rooms. Upon arrival and anytime you go out and come back parking is going to be an issue and you're going to wait and pray. And guess what... no bellhops. So at $1000/night I had to lug all our luggage in multiple trips across the resort.

The Check-In

They had everybody wait outside, mostly in the sun. They handed you a clipboard with forms to fill out and then you had to wait 30 minutes for your turn simply so you could get inside to pay. The process was poorly managed.

The Room... Oh the room...

We both had this perplexed and dismayed look on our face when we walked in. One of us captured the moment by saying "This is it? Really?!?!"

--- The Rooms are Small --- Really tight for just two people, and certainly not for even a single child. There was a bed and that was it... no couch or inside chairs. The floor was cement and there was a bare light bulb hanging from the ceiling. It looked like a basement. Oh, and the rooms have no phones, so no way to call the front desk.

---The Rooms are Dilapidated and Disgusting--- The entire room... walls and all, needed a good scrubbing and repainting. The walls had strange spots, pen scribbles and... in one place what looked to be blue-ish ooze. The bathroom was so disgusting I don't know that I can even describe it without getting nauseous. The shower floor was a horror-show and the bathroom floor had a gigantic hair ball waiting for us as if to say "Welcome!".

--- There is no closet, drawers or shelving --- Ready to live our of your suitcase? Well then the Marram is perfect for you. No closet. No drawers. What the rooms DO have is a full length mirror with hangers hanging from it. Yes, all your clothes most stay in your suitcase, and you can hang a few things from the mirror in the middle of your room. Luxury baby...

---The "Ocean View" is a Joke--- The ocean view consisted of about a tiny sliver between the other buildings and some huge hanging canopy over the pool. It was NOT viewable from inside the room. The balcony is small and shallow in depth and the rail is high... 4 feet maybe? They coupled it with these low sling chairs. So... if you sit in the chairs on your balcony, the railing rises to about a foot above your head, and you're staring at a sliver of the ocean through prison bars.

The Service

The service wasn't entirely terrible, but where they failed was in planning ahead. Due to the pandemic they don't enter or clean your room during your stay... you'd think they'd stock it ahead of time but our room had only one day's worth of supplies. If you're staying longer than one night and expect there to be coffee, clean towels, or shampoo on days 2+, your out of luck and cannot call the front desk (no phones in the room).

The Restaurant

Over-priced and disappointing on menu selection and quality. Imagine $30 hamburgers and $40 dinners served in take-out containers in a brown paper bag. They also forgot to put in the pizza-joint quality plastic ware and napkins so I had to walk all the way back for those in order to eat my over-cooked, over-salted steak.

The "Bonfires"

Basically two or three small fire pits where they lit up a few logs and then quickly walked away. The fires died out quickly and then the smoke started billowing towards us further ruining my over-cooked, over-salted steak experience. Those fires aren't as cool as you're imagining.

The beach bonfires are $2,000 a shot. They put out a small metal can, throw some wood in, and light it up, and you get to sit on the sand around it. I maybe would have tipped some worker who set it up for me $30... but $2000?!?! Oh it includes dinner for 4 and a single bottle of champagne so maybe it's only $1700 over-priced.

The room quality on its own was singularly disqualifying on us ever staying...

You are 100% paying for the location here. The view is beautiful, and waking up to the sound of the ocean every morning was amazing. However the hotel itself is lacking especially in service. I saw other reviews calling Marram a "glorified motel" which is so true.

Rooms: The rooms are designed beautifully but are TINY probably the smallest I've stayed in for 2 people despite being in the highest room category (beach front). The sink doesn't even fit in the bathroom so it's in the entryway of the room. i couldn't even wash my face in the sink because there was no room to bend over to splash your face without the water going everywhere and all over the floor. My partner and I had to squeeze by each other due to lack of space. There's a large sofa bed looking thing in the room which doesn't need to be there, I would remove that and rearrange the room to be more spacious. The AC works well and shower temperature and water pressure were good. The bed was comfortable. On day 1 there was a SEWAGE OVERFLOW in the parking lot behind the room and the entire area wreaked it was so gross!

Beach: gorgeous! located at the end of a stretch of beach with cliffs to the side, feeling very private. beach attendants are available to set up your chair and umbrella. I don't think they provide drink/food service. Water was beautiful but too cold to go in. Was told I couldn't use the umbrella because it was too windy however the hotel next to us had all their umbrellas up. They told us those were "stabilization umbrellas." When I'm paying over $1,000/night to stay here, maybe you guys should have stabilization umbrellas too. Pool attendants were very nice, but again didn't see any food/drink service (not positive, as we brought our own drinks from home. I was not willing to pay $20 per drink that's a little absurd).

Activities: Loved the morning yoga on the pool deck and the nightly fire pits w/ s'mores. I was looking forward to a guided nature walk as advertised online, but was told it was not available and was handed a map to go find Shadmoor state park myself. I'm not good with maps so did not go.

Restaurant: breakfast is fine but Joni's is better and a 5 min walk away. Coffee was mediocre at best, go to Left Hand instead (right before Joni's). Lunch and dinner were not vegetarian-friendly. Dinner rotates every night they are 3-4 dish options and none of them were vegetarian or even fish, all meat-based so we never ate dinner there. They offer individual pizzas after 4pm daily- they are $23 each and small. Order from pizza village instead and pay the same amount for a large pizza (1-2 min drive). We did this and set up our own beach picnic with bottles of wine we brought from home!

*Issues we experienced:

1. Prior to arrival, I requested slippers for the room. Only 1 pair of slippers was in the room, even though the booking was clearly made for 2 people. I called the front desk (from my cellphone because no phones in the room) and was told they would bring another pair right up, but they never came

2. I tried to get coffee from the restaurant at 7am, and they don't open until 8. There should be coffee available earlier than 8am. At this price point, it would be nice to have a complimentary coffee station out in the morning for early risers

3. Location of room in front of main parking lot: Every morning around 7 we woke up to the sound of trucks dropping off supplies, garbage trucks, etc. There were ALWAYS 1 or more employees loitering around the parking lot and they would blatantly just stare at us (2 women) any time we walked to/from our car. It was extremely uncomfortable, I would never have expected this from staff at a resort of this caliber

Overall none of these were major issues, just not what I was expecting for this price point ($3,330 for 3 nights). If you're used to 3 star hotels, this hotel will probably feel luxurious. If you're used to 5 star hotels, it will probably feel...

Paradise. The Marram Montauk is the most beautiful, serene, plush and comfortable hotel in the Hamptons. It is without a doubt our favorite place to stay, and, as New Yorkers, we have been coming to the area for years. The location is spectacular and magical, situated on a glorious strip of pristine East Coast, Atlantic, beach that is stunning. We regularly see whales, seals and yesterday we saw a dolphin. The beach is immaculately clean. The dunes are expansive and you can take a short walk along the shoreline to see the red cliffs to the east.||The rooms at the Marram are plush and spotless. The mattresses are amazing and so comfortable that we always sleep late whenever we are here. Everything from the linens to the luxury rose soaps and shampoos is perfect.||Some of the rooms have an expansive view of the ocean which is spectacular by day and gobsmacking at night when the moon lights up the ocean for miles. The rooms that face the garden are equally charming because they look onto the duney landscaping that boasts simply lovely natural, green beauty. There is literally no bad room in the hotel, it is all 7-star level.||The food at the restaurant, the Mostrador, is outstanding, (including the pizza!) and totally exceeded our expectations. I don't even like lamb but had lamb ribs at the Mostrador last night that blew my mind. The pastries and lunch are Michelin-worthy. They make their own almond milk which produces a phenomenal vegan latte, with all the necessary swirls and hearts in the froth, which I highly recommend. The chefs, managers and the servers at the Mostrador fly in every summer from Uruguay to run this beachside gemstone, and they are always super gracious on top of being expert chefs, servers and restaurateurs.||The hotel staff is so nice and is always chill, friendly and ready to make people comfortable. The managers Javier and Michelle are fantastic, as are Carlton and Phil, and all the people helping out at the pool and the beach are lovely and give the place it's genuinely relaxed vibe.||The guests are of all ages and nationalities. Lots of young people, couples, some families, grandparents. It's always a real mix but everyone always seems to be mellow, low key and friendly.||This is a place where your whole body and mind relax and recharge, every time. We really can't say enough good things about this place. Sometimes you don't want to write reviews because you want to keep your special places for yourself but this place deserves recognition for its stellar quality, service, atmosphere and out-of-this-world location.||One important thing we truly love is the fact that there is no music blaring. ||The soundtrack of Marram is the Ocean itself, in every way. Just...