Swanston Halal Food Centre — Restaurant in Melbourne

Swanston Halal Food Center, a place that dares to serve reasonably edible food while simultaneously challenging its customers to a battle against nature itself. If you enjoy moderately priced HSP with a side of avian warfare, congratulations, this is your paradise.

Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room or rather, the birds in the restaurant. This establishment has seemingly decided that doors are optional, allowing swarms of sparrows and pigeons to waltz in like they own the place. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if the next person in line was a pigeon, flapping its wings in frustration while waiting for its order. I mean, what’s next? Are they going to introduce a “peck and pay” system for their feathered regulars?

Let’s consider the hygiene implications here. A place that serves meat, cheese, and sauce-covered fries should, at the very least, attempt to prevent wild birds from casually strolling in. And yet, here we are, sharing our dining space with creatures that regularly bathe in Melbourne’s gutters. What a brilliant concept, because who wouldn’t want their meal seasoned with the fine mist of airborne bacteria from a pigeon that just took off from a garbage bin?

And while I’m on the subject, where exactly is the standard? It is because last I checked, a proper food establishment should not resemble a Disney princess scene gone horribly wrong. The difference? In a Disney movie, the birds help you cook and clean. Here? They are actively trying to steal your food while simultaneously lowering your immune system.

So yes, the HSP is decent, and yes, it’s moderately priced, but let me make one thing painfully clear: I refuse to engage in a turf war with pigeons just to enjoy a meal. Either install a functioning door, or rebrand the place as a wildlife sanctuary, because at this point, there is no in-between.

Final rating? Two stars. One for the food, one for the price. Everything else? A health hazard disguised as...

I would give this place a negative 10 star, but unfortunately there is no option for that.

I had the most appalling experience at Swanston Halal Food Centre in Melbourne CBD last Saturday evening. Upon entering with my friend, we were met with indifference from the male staff.

Despite ordering food for dining in, when I politely inquired about using the restroom, the staff arrogantly denied access, suggesting we go to Flinders Street Railway Station. To add insult to injury, they demanded immediate payment, displaying utter rudeness and a lack of basic courtesy.

After trekking to find a restroom, we returned to find the establishment closed, and we were relegated to a cold bench outside like beggars.

When we demanded a refund due to their refusal to honor their initial offer of dining in, coupled with the unhygienic conditions witnessed in the kitchen, which included the presence of rats, the staff responded with hostility, even threatening to involve the police.

After a lengthy and heated exchange, we were begrudgingly allowed to eat inside, with the added insult of having to fetch our own chair.

The food, mediocre at best, did nothing to alleviate the bitter taste left by the abhorrent treatment and lack of hospitality displayed by the staff.

In conclusion, save your money and dignity by avoiding Swanston Halal Food Centre at all costs. The abysmal service, coupled with subpar food, makes this establishment a regrettable choice for any discerning diner.

A warning to all: steer clear and seek dining...

First of all, google should start allowing 0 stars as this place doesn't even deserve a single star being given. The staff are rude and there just for chit chatting with each other. The food is terrible for the exorbitant price being charged. The staff were happy to inform us that many people dont eat at their establishment, no surprise there. We asked for tea, which was like stale old powder milk tea and so terrible after one sip it was better to throw away than to consume it. I am not sure if this place is even serving Halal food as it might be just the name of the restaurant. The staff are non muslims, no problem there. However, both are handling money and food without gloves, which is against any food establishment rules worldwide. The environment is so grungy that it makes you not even wanna sit for a minute. The chairs have torn covers from 10 years ago with dirty tables as the customers are expected to clean after themselves, or new customers must clean before consuming their food. Such a prime location with rude staff and sub-par food on offer as visible from all the negative reviews. I'm not sure how the authorities have allowed this place...