Chez Augustine — Restaurant in Albertville

Back in December, I made the grave mistake of dining at La Joyeuse Fondue, a name that couldn’t be more misleading. Here I am, months later, still reeling from the horrendous experience. This place left such a bad taste in my mouth that I feel compelled to warn others about the culinary catastrophe that awaits them.

From the moment I stepped inside, I was assaulted by a nauseating stench. Imagine the scent of old gym socks mixed with sour milk and despair. It was so overpowering that it nearly drove me back out the door, but my hope for a warm, comforting fondue experience convinced me to stay. Big mistake.

The fondue, if you can even call it that, was a disgrace. It was watery, a bizarre neon yellow, and tasted like a blend of melted plastic and disappointment. The consistency was atrocious – instead of clinging to the bread, it ran off like water, leaving me with soggy, flavorless bites. It looked like someone had mixed school glue with yellow food coloring and decided to serve it as fondue.

The taste was just as bad as the appearance. Bland, rubbery, and utterly devoid of any cheesy goodness, it was like eating a bad science experiment. Each bite was worse than the last, and it took every ounce of willpower to continue eating, hoping it might get better. Spoiler: it didn’t.

The service was equally atrocious. Our waiter seemed to be in on the joke, treating our complaints with a dismissive shrug and an infuriating, “That’s just how our fondue is.” No apology, no offer to make it right – just pure indifference. It was as if he knew how bad the food was but couldn’t care less.

The ambiance did nothing to help. The dim lighting couldn’t hide the grime and disrepair of the place. It felt like dining in a forgotten basement, adding to the overall feeling of neglect and disappointment. The only thing that lingered longer than our disgust was the awful smell that clung to our clothes, reminding us of the nightmare we’d endured.

It’s now June, and I’m still haunted by the memory of that dreadful night at La Joyeuse Fondue. This place is a blight on the restaurant scene, a disgrace to fondue, and a cruel joke on anyone unfortunate enough to dine there. If I could give zero stars, I would. Avoid this place like the plague – your taste buds and your sense of smell...

Le Joyeuse Fondue: A Culinary Nightmare in a Cauldron

Ah, Le Joyeuse Fondue. How you lured me in with promises of delightful molten cheese and convivial dining, only to subject me to a gastronomic horror so vile, I wondered if I'd wandered into a medieval dungeon's slop trough.

From the moment the fondue pot arrived at our table, bubbling ominously like a witch's brew, I sensed doom. The aroma that wafted up was a noxious cloud—a potent mix of sour milk, burnt rubber, and what I can only describe as the scent of despair. My nose recoiled in self-defense, and I should have taken the hint to flee immediately.

The cheese itself, if one could still call it that, had the consistency of coagulated sludge. It clung to the bread cubes like a death grip, refusing to let go as if it too wished to escape its grim fate. Each bite was a struggle against this viscous monstrosity, the cheese stretching in grotesque, sinewy strings that snapped back with the vigor of a malicious spirit.

The taste—oh, the taste—was a cacophony of culinary abominations. Imagine a cocktail of expired dairy, fermented gym socks, and a hint of despair. It coated my tongue with a greasy film that no amount of water could cleanse. Every mouthful was a fresh assault, each worse than the last, until my taste buds staged a full-scale rebellion.

To make matters worse, the accompaniments were as ghastly as the main attraction. The bread was stale, possibly sourced from the ruins of a forgotten civilisation.

By the end of the night, I was left not only with a sense of profound regret but also a stomach churning with the fury of a thousand curdled nightmares. Le Joyeuse Fondue is not merely a bad dining experience; it is a portal to a gastronomic underworld from which few return unscathed.

In summary, if you cherish your palate, your dignity, and your sanity, stay far, far away from Le Joyeuse Fondue. It's a descent into a cheese-infested abyss, and trust me—it's an experience better...

The fondue here was good. We also had the oil fondue, which was ok. The oil tasted a bit old - I wonder if it is reused from pot to pot? The service was great at the start, and the staff were clearly very very busy throughout the service, however towards the end it was painfully slow. We were going to have a dessert but in the end decided against it because we couldn't bear to wait.

By far the wosr though was the fries. They were so so dry and crunchy it honestly cut my mouth to shreds. For the rest of the holiday I could feel the lacerations all over the roof of my mouth. I like crispy fries but these were like shards of glass. You tried to put a fork into some and they just shattered all over the table....