Eiffel Croisières - Péniche Ivoire - Croisière bistronomique — Restaurant in Paris

Bad vibes all around. We visited all the way from Canada and had intended this meal to be our "end-with-a-bang-ride". Lol. Could not be further from that. From the moment we stepped aboard, the person ushering us in was extremely rude. My bf made the booking so I hadn't known people were being made to pay for window seats. We asked and he rudely told us off coupled with a classic Parisian eyeroll. Poor bf felt so sad about the entire thing since this trip was to celebrate my PhD graduation + leap year unbirthday, so I felt compelled to write this.

1. Despite their poor service, the same old man goes around treating a select few tables politely and at the end tries to farm likes by encouraging said tables to write reviews for them on here. If only he was actually a nice person he wouldn't need to do that, lol, and if only I could give him 0*. To top it off, he only speaks to non-Asian tables, at worst low-key racist and at best extremely rude.

2. For a cruise that's supposed to provide great ambience, the gaudy orange lighting did not help. I felt like at any moment a stripper from Las Vegas would show up on my lap. The glare from the lights made it impossible to take pictures inside the cruise. We had to go outside and there was a crowd, which defeats the purpose of the cruise. To make it worse, there were minimal to no safety precautions for children. Only one guy was stationed at the door, the gaps for the railing were large and there were so many children on board. The seating inside also provided no accommodations for disabilities of any kind. It is cramped so if you have a wheelchair, it would be near impossible.

3. Food was awful. My bro is a demi at a 2* Michelin and while I was not expecting fine-dining, this was possibly the worst meal I've had in years. For €120, you can eat at many excellent restaurants in Paris, if we deduct the cost of cruising for two, it would still be €80 too expensive for this crappy meal. The appetizers were tasteless pesto covered cheese curds in tomato sauce that looked like they came from a can, dry pate burgers and dried out smoked salmon. I ordered the cod and bf ordered chicken. The moment they started cooking the cod, the smell made me want to throw up. The ventilation was so poor, the entire area filled with a foul, fishy smell. The food was tasteless and bland, though chicken was marginally better than the fish. Although I love desserts, I couldn't stomach the dessert they gave us. I left half of all my food behind. My bf being one to not waste food, had to finish them. The tables around us did not finish their meals either. We also paid €9 for 1L of water, which is insane. Even Disney's higher ups would be shocked at this belligerent monetisation.

4. They celebrate events on board with joyeux anniversaire playing on max volume and the staff will sing, dance and present a cake with candle. Likewise, we noted all the tables around us that received the chocolate cake, barely touched them.

Absolutely DO NOT RECOMMEND. Just try the other cruises, they're probably better. Heck, maybe try the Bustronome, it was so much better.

I would have been happier doing a regular cruise with a good sandwich from the bakery and some nice pastries, could've probably left the remainder €40 as a tip to the bakery for better service. Lol. I can't fathom why they have 4+ ratings, I'd like to think that 3k people were fooled into boarding this cruise. Maybe people simply have no taste buds, but this cruise is undeserving of even 1. Board it at...

The staff are wonderful, the atmosphere is hectic, the view is fine, it's a boat on the Seine. It does not have a glass top though, so it's not as open as others. The food was awful. It's hard for me to say that. The first course, a tasting menu was almost inedible. The salmon (actual sushi like cut) was reasonably fresh but that was it. The "mini burger" is a dry pâté. The bread on the mini burger is cold, tasteless and dry. I actually forget what the other taster was but we did not eat it. Main course; we chose chicken and beef. The beef was good but medium rare was still alive, like deep purple with a seer. It was accompanied by "potatoes Anna" that was a wheel of rock hard, stale potatoes. Really bad and I love all potatoes. The beef was definitely the best choice as it must be cooked to order. My chicken was also edible and I think the sauce more fresh because we ordered the beef. The table next to ours had a congealed sauce. I'm happy we had the main course or we would have left really drunk and hungry. We ordered the cheese option, it is France, so one would assume they could not mess that up. It was cold and rock hard and had no flavor. We even left it on the table for an hour to see if it would warm to an edible state. It did not. The table bread was not a baguette, it was rolls that were cold and dense. We had them heat them but it was rough. The dessert duo they provide was also bad. We had a few bites to taste. It wouldn't kill you but you would never go back for more. It was a birthday celebration, that was very fun. The birthday cake was moist and nice. The champagne they serve is very tasty. I noted in my stars the service was 5. The staff were fantastic, they made it fun and were very attentive. There is no way I would ever go back and I doubt ever do another dinner cruise. If I did, I would spend the exuberant amount that is asked, on the fine dining cruises because this was not okay in the food department, in ANY way! We paid a total of €180 approximately and tipped another €20. For that price, you can have a lovely, unforgettable meal for two all over Paris. SAVE YOUR MONEY! Honestly I couldn't believe, in all the reviews I read, there was no warning. I would have appreciated the heads up. Take an evening cruise with champagne, eat before or after at the restaurant of your choice. I am not picky when it comes to this kind of thing. We made it fun, we drank and ate what we could but we went out for dinner after! 😂 consider yourself warned! Oh, one last thing you'll see from the pictures, they have to clean the windows. That really is the point of the journey. I know it's difficult on a boat but these were actually hard...

Food and experience were great but the captain arrived half an hour after boarding was supposed to start, and the cruise left 45 minutes late, so we waited outside in the cold for over an hour in December for their Christmas Eve service.

There was absolutely no explanation for this during the meal and the only communication we received was 5 minutes prior to boarding when the captain came out to introduce himself.

When asked for an explanation for why boarding was an hour late, he pretended not to be able to speak English despite communicating fluently moments prior. Pretty unbelievable behaviour and no accountability whatever from the person ostensibly in charge of everything.

The food was surprisingly good given some of the other reviews I've read. I didn't feel like it was microwaved at all. The appetizer was notably mediocre, as well as the desserts, but the main course was lovely and seemed to be freshly prepared.

I wouldn't have minded the lateness if there was any communication at all.

We were also made to pay for window seats, but every table was adjacent to the window. I did overhear several groups complain that they paid for window seats and the restaurant was unable to accommodate them.

In fact, seating seemed to be first come, first served, so I'm not sure why I was made to pay 15€ per person.

While the views were excellent and the wait staff attentive and polite, the behaviour I experienced with the captain as well as their administrative staff makes this a strong DO NOT RECOMMEND.

In summary: extremely unprofessional behaviour from the captain as well as dishonest behaviour from the...