Den Glade Gris: A Porky Rollercoaster of Sins and Surprises that felt like a Tourist Trap.

Oh, strap yourselves in, folks, because my escapade to Den Glade Gris in Oslo was a wild ride that left my taste buds questioning their life choices. If you're the type who enjoys culinary experiments that border on the absurd, this place might just be your holy grail. Or should I say, grease-stained grail?

Let's dive right into the good stuff—the staff. Picture this: they were so friendly that it felt like they were trying to oil me up as much as their dishes. Their smiles practically blinded me, perhaps a well-rehearsed tactic to distract from the gastronomic pandemonium that awaited.

Now, let's talk decor. It was a mix of "kind of okay" and "did I just stumble into someone's kitsch collection?" You see, Den Glade Gris managed to nail the art of decorating with a slight identity crisis. But hey, at least it smelled nice! I guess that's the silver lining when your senses are about to be assaulted by an oil ambush.

Ah, the scent. The aroma that greeted me was akin to a well-choreographed dance of pork and potatoes, conspiring to mask the impending tsunami of oil that would coat my taste buds like a bad decision you can't escape.

Let's move on to the main attraction—the "Flatbanka gris." What a masterpiece of contradictions! If you've ever wondered what a schnitzel's mid-life crisis tastes like, this dish has the answer. With each bite, I couldn't decide whether I was eating food or providing a lubricant service to my insides.

The butterfried green peas, a.k.a. "butter peas," deserve their own accolades for showcasing the true power of butter. If butter was a religion, Den Glade Gris would be its holy temple, and these peas, its devout worshippers. And the tartar sauce? Let's just say it was the quirky friend who crashes the party and steals the show in all the wrong ways.

Now, for the pièce de résistance—the potatoes. Imagine crispy spuds soaked in a bath of oil, like they had taken a dip in the Fountain of Grease. Each bite left a mark, a memory, and probably a new entry in my cholesterol level.

And the portion size? Well, it was so petite that even a squirrel would have questioned its nutritional adequacy. I guess they were aiming for a "less is oilier" approach.

So, to Den Glade Gris, I salute you for a rollercoaster of flavors and a journey that left me questioning my life choices. From the friendly staff that seemed to know I needed a morale boost to the kind-of-okay decor that prepared me for the unexpected, you delivered an experience that's sure to remain etched in my heart... or maybe that's just the residual oil coating. 368kr is way too overpriced, there are far more better choices in the area with delicious food for half the price! Until we meet again - "never ever", Den Glade Gris, may your pigs keep sizzling and your butter peas keep sliding!