Monkey Mash — Restaurant in Lisbon

The drinks were ok. Some were good, others were terrible. The biggest issue was the attitude of one of the staff members. She took our drinks while we were still sitting there. We were talking with a group next to us, but still at our table. Not sure how she did not see us there. I think she was annoyed we were talking to the group next to us, as they were a "hen" party, but not very obnoxious.

The same server was very rude to the hen party and tried charging them twice for appetizers even though she only brought one appetizer to their table. She argued with them about this too, but she was so clearly in the wrong. She also snapped at them when they tried to order drinks.

For us, she generally just ignored us. There were a few times that my wife and I wanted to order new drinks and would make eye contact with the female server but she would just ignore us. We had to wait on another server (who was very nice) to come over to place orders.

When it came time to pay, I was told I had to go up to their point of sale system to pay rather then them running my card at my table. I don't think they made anyone else do that, but maybe I am wrong.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when the rude server asked how much I would like to include as a tip. I had half a mind to ask her how much she thought she deserved, but I didn't. I just kind of stood there in awe for a second at her audacity, and she said to me "it's a yes or no question" (it wasn't, actually). I gave them a ten percent tip just to avoid the awkwardness.

Generally, cool space and ok cocktails. If you avoid the rude server, you will...

Overall bad experience. The things on the menu have the right price for the reputation this place has, not for the reality of it. One of the waitresses was so rude to me and my group, I believe she thought we were "young kids with no money" because she clearly treated us as such.

When I asked her about one of the cocktails she told me she did not speak Portuguese, which is fine, although, it was the only time she was nice to us. As we started to order, in English, she interrupted us saying "There is a minimum consumption, you know?". I asked how much it was, 50€ maybe, she responded "It's clearly written on the very first page of the menu".

On the first page of the menu is a big text that gives off a "these are my rules and if you don't like it you can leave", punk kid from middle school type of vibe. We had a couple more (bad) exchanges with the waitress before we decided to just leave (like the first page suggested).

Very unfortunate the audacity of it all, from the rudeness of staff, to the bad decoration and, according to other reviews, pre mixed cocktails??... oof, embarrassing. This type of bar, if we can even call it that, better hold on to their titles and "reputation", as there is nothing else going for them. Very happy I didn't get to spend any money 👍

And before you respond with a standard "apology", I'll just insert it here myself, Thank you.

MONKEY MASH Estimado cliente, lamentamos que a sua experiência não tenha sido a melhor, esforçamo-nos todos os dias para satisfazer os nossos clientes. As...

Visited few days ago, it was my second time and I was not impressed. I myself work in a bar industry along with my friends that visited with me and we were shocked. The atmosphere was nice but the smell didn’t get better and it disturbed our experience. The cocktails are okay, we tried some from the signature menu but if you want to enjoy a nice classic cocktail, forget about it. The waiter was kind of rude and arrogant, trying to make us look stupid whenever we asked if they could make some classics stating they are a tropical bar without a further explanation of the whole bar concept. He repeated it at least 3 times. At the end he brought a bill, sat down on the sofa while taking a payment and was demanding a tip from us for a very poor service, lack of understanding and also lack of engagement with us. They knew we are industry people, all working in bars and still treated us like people that have no idea about drinks. We are all the easiest people to deal with it as we do the same jobs but this really stuck with us. Definitely won’t come back. The speak easy bar Red Frog makes really nice drinks but once again the service overall very poor, for a such a small bar they can definitely do better. Even here the waiter tried to make us tip straight away, explaining how he needs to calculate the bill with the...