The PaperMoon Diner — Restaurant in Baltimore

Never again shall we darken the doorway of that… establishment. Ten years – nigh a decade – we have been faithful patrons of Papermoon, drawn by its peculiar spirit, eager to share its whimsical charm with guests from afar. But alas, a creeping malaise has infected its heart. The siren song of reasonable prices has faded, replaced by a discordant clamor of escalating costs, while the once-warm embrace of attentive service has chilled into a frigid indifference. And today… today was the final, shattering note in this lamentable symphony of decline.

We encountered her, the Asian female proprietor, a creature of legend, whispered about in hushed tones for her… unpleasantness. Until this day, we had been spared her venom. But no longer. She fulfilled every dire prophecy of the online oracles and neighborhood gossips. She, who could make the Soup Nazi appear a veritable cherub, greeted our party with a rudeness so breathtaking it stole the air from our lungs. I, with a morbid fascination, observed her interactions with others, her treatment of her own beleaguered staff. I was aghast. Such a display of petty tyranny, such a calculated cruelty, I have rarely witnessed.

And then, the food. The nachos, once a dish of delight, arrived cloaked in a gritty, molten, spicy horror masquerading as cheese. We, with trembling hands, returned the offending plate, requesting a simple, honest cheese. Forty-five minutes – forty-five agonizing minutes – elapsed before its return. And what emerged? A mere façade of normalcy upon the surface, beneath which lay a battlefield of pulverized chips and a deluge of salsa. A culinary catastrophe.

While we languished in this purgatory of bad taste and worse service, we were treated to a spectacle of the owner’s relentless campaign of customer harassment. She prowled the dining room, a harpy urging departures, desperate to claim empty tables. My own nine-year-old, with the innocent clarity of childhood, witnessed her snatch a chair from a bewildered patron. “Daddy,” he whispered, his eyes wide, “did you see what she just did?”

Disgusted, we fled. But not before I unleashed the torrent of my displeasure upon the oblivious owner. I held nothing back. The shame of bringing out-of-town guests to such a scene, the sheer gall of the experience… it fueled my righteous indignation. I told her, with the fervor of a vengeful spirit, that we would never return. One almost wondered if the woman had pilfered those whimsical toys that adorned the walls from the nurseries of heartbroken children, then, in some bizarre ritual, affixed them there for eternity. And let it be known, the cheapest child’s meal cost a king’s ransom of $9.50! I will, however, offer a word of solace for the staff. They are, without exception, kind and long suffering. I pity their plight.

As we made our escape, so too did she, the owner. Perhaps she sensed the rising tide of discontent. Perhaps she simply knew it was time to vanish, a mercy granted to the remaining patrons. We shall seek solace and sustenance elsewhere. We shall journey to The Dizz, where the owner’s smile is genuine, the prices fair, children are welcomed, and the...

This is a review I wish I wasn't making. I enjoyed coming here before a night out, so me and my company would usually arrive here a little later in the evening. As advertised, kitchen closes at 6, diner at 7. I've worked in the service industry for years. I understand wanting to close as soon as possible. I don't take offense to being turned away if it's close, especially if it's done respectfully. I usually feel like an jerk for even trying. Over the past few months this has been happening earlier, me and my friends adjust accordingly, yet the tone keeps getting increasingly aggressive. Not towards just myself but to other patrons arriving at the same time. On this specific night myself, my partner, and another party of older guests arrived around 5pm. We were met by Chris the manager who greeted the party ahead of us with the tone of a parent disciplining a petulant child. They had been in good spirits as they were out celebrating. After being warned of the kitchen closing soon and threatened with being kicked out, they, obviously distraught and confused, were seated. I thought perhaps that came off wrong but I was greeted in a similar fashion. Then the staff disappears. Me and the older party having been told to rush are now ignored. One of the gentleman calmly and politely seeks out Chris to tell him they're ready to order and explain that if the times have changed, it should be reflected on their website. Chris lies and tells them the site is wrong and needs to be changed but the person who runs the site is gone. I know they have no trouble posting updates to the site when they're closed for holidays, which has happened before these "time changes". Chris apologizes profusely and the gentleman respectfully asks if he would extend that to the table. I'm right there as this is happening and as the guy walks back to the table, Chris tells the waitress, "F that, no, I'm not apologizing anymore." and storms off to the back somehow insulted. I am a guest. I don't need or want to hear this. I have dealt with upset and impossible guests before and this was not a situation at all. Me and the other party leave and while sitting in my car figuring out where our night will take us, I hear and see Chris and the waitress go to the building next to parking lot for a "smoke" break after their ordeal. Meanwhile there are still guests inside. I'm all for a relaxed work environment but leave that stuff for after your shift. It's wonderful to see the staff joking and having a good time when I go into a place, but there are no boundaries here. They are inconvenienced by having to do their job. If you don't match their vibe, it's them vs. you. This decades long patron is finally done with the papermoon. Even icons fall and this place is...

I’ve come here with my friends about a dozen times, every time I’m visiting in Baltimore, and absolutely adore it. I’ve loved trying lots of tasty things on the large menu and the unique atmosphere of course. Waiters are always friendly and lovely!

But over the weekend my friends and I arrived to Paper Moon as we normally would, although we were in a bit of an unfortunate situation where an additional friend had invited themselves to our meal and was en route. It was a bit awkward, as we were next in line and people lining up behind us, but figured we were 3 and would likely be sat at a four person table so ideally it shouldn’t be that large of an inconvenience since she was a minute or two away. It was honestly very cramped and rushed, as I’ve come to understand is the Paper Moon experience, which is fine, but is something to note.

When we were sat, and apologized to our waitress for the situation (again, the friend invited themselves, not a great excuse I understand but frustrating all around) and she went to see if there was an additional chair, the hostess of asian descent came running back to our table, snatched up all of our menus and yelled at us to get up and leave, and wait for the rest of our party to arrive. She made quite a scene, flailing an arm around, everyone around us was mouth agape. We were a bit shocked as we were shooed back out to the lobby. It was so uncomfortable, I’ve never been treated like that as a customer. We left and ate somewhere else. If it really was necessary to kick us out of our table for someone who was literally parking, maybe a more neutral “hey guys, sorry but our policy is…… we will reseat you guys when your friend arrives.” Although personally I’ve never agreed with that policy… regardless, a little kindness and humanity would have been appreciated in the moment.

Right before we went to leave, my friend went in to express we were disappointed with the way it was handled, she was told “yeah, we get a lot of complaints about her. We’re working with her on her behavior.” Well then perhaps it’s time to let her go, or at least she should not be in a customer facing position. I remember her from recent previous visits being a bit snappy and aggressive as well, but normally I’m very understanding. I’ve worked in food service, but any establishment I’ve worked at would have let that person go on the spot for how she handled it.

Just leaves a bitter taste in the mouth, but I hope to return as I really do love the food, the staff, and...