Laurel Diner — Restaurant in City of Long Beach

I seldom have enough cash to eat at a diner as over-priced as this one, but as some of you know, I was the homeless guy who won $435,000 on a lottery ticket I found, and used the money to rent a house, buy a bunch of used cars, hire some "undocumented" household staff, and was basically broke and homeless again four months later. Well, during the time when I had all that spending money, the Laurel Diner was my favorite place to eat—prior to all of the new renovations—because they served a great Romanian Steak. I loved to go there, wearing a big puffy shirt with ruffles on he chest, a powdered wig, and order my steak using an English accent. I felt like the king of the hill. Unfortunately, all that changed during that gigantic snowstorm we had that year. I had my char woman Patricia go out early that morning with her shovel, and although she did complain quite a bit—she has no boots, you see—she managed to clear out the driveway, front stoop, the steps at the side door, the paved area in the herb garden, and the path that leads to the gazebo. Of course, I didn’t really need to have immediate access to the gazebo, but it was so inspiring to see Patricia shoveling in the rosy light of the rising sun, digging into the snow drifts with one powerful forearm while trying to keep her nightgown closed with the other, I couldn’t resist. I dare say, it brought a tear to my eye. When she was done, I allowed her to warm up in her chair by the stove while I pulled my car out and drove down to The Laurel for a Rumanian steak. All the problems started when I got into an unfortunate argument with the waiter with the harelip about the origins of the dish. He parroted some nonsense from one of those cable television channels that reverse engineer ethnic foods from their trendy manifestations in American food culture. I then provided him a brief survey of long-time trends in the Rumanian meat industry, explaining that a Rumanian Steak, or any animal flesh designated “Romanian,” “Roumanian,” “Romani-style,” or even the Anglicized “Roaming meat,” is any kind of animal flesh that happens to find its way into a dish. I happened to have a newspaper clipping with me to support my claim. A Rumanian meat exporter, I explained, had withdrawn tinned beef products from the export market amid fears that they contained horse meat, but permitted the product to be sold to locals. The article went on to note that the Rumanian tradition of “open slaughter” allows for any animals chased from the street into the barn to be considered part of the primary batch of meat. Apparently, to prevent horses, dogs, or other animals from freely dashing into the turbine powered knives and becoming part of the product would be “un-Rumanian.” The waiter tried to walk away from my table, but I grabbed him by the sleeve and read aloud from the article: “This is a strange thing to say,” said Verseji Antolosiakz, “but I cannot tell the difference between tinned cat food and ground rat, if I am eating them as part of the same meal.” I folded up the clipping and stood triumphant a ’midst the diners. The waiter was silent for a moment and then asked me to leave and not come back. I dare say I might have employed my cane on him, but there were officers of the law present. As a result, I had to cut my “snow day” motoring short, come back home, and try to get Patricia to prepare me a proper Rumanian steak. The result was less than satisfying, not because the meal itself was bad, but because I was continually distracted by her coughing and shivering and requests for some product called “Hot John Chest Cure.” I had to banish her to the garage so I could finish my lunch in peace. Anyway, I’m not going back to that...

I was in the area going to a event and wanted to grab a bite to eat with my family. I googled best place to eat around me and the Laurel Diner came up. I was hesitant to go because I usually think that people fluff up reviews. Plus I am not from the area and don't know anything about Long Beach. Taking a leap of faith we decided to give it a try. The first thing I noticed as soon as we walked in was that, we were automatically greeted by a hostess and as every employee passed us they greeted us as well. We were seated promptly, I mean we literally walked in and were seated within 30 seconds. What left an impression was that when we got to the table it was already set. Service from this point on was nothing short of amazing. Looking over the menu I was left speechless. The menu reminded me of the old school diners I grew up with but with the added menu of a modern day diner and high end restaurant. I couldn't believe all the choices they offered which kind of made it hard because everything sounded so delicious. We went on and ordered some appetizers and our main courses and eagerly waited for the food to come out. Living in New York and eating at many diners I automatically assumed that the appetizers were frozen and pre-made from a box like many other diners do. Boy was I wrong!! This place actually make their food from fresh ingredients and not frozen. My family has been in the food business for over 20 years and I know when something is frozen and something is fresh. Every different appetizer we ordered and consumed was flavorful and delicious. It far surpassed what I was expecting. Everyone at the table ordered a different meal and every plate that came out was enough to feed 2 people. The portions were huge. When they were bringing out the kids meals I thought they made a mistake because the portions were so big. As soon as a took a bite of my food (I had one of the fish specials of the day) my immediate reaction was that of disbelief. You don't expect to get seafood as fresh and well prepared as this dish was from a diner. Did I mention that I live by City Island, so I frequently eat at some of the best seafood restaurants in NY. We were all in disbelief on everything from the presentation but especially from the freshness and delicious flavors of all the food we were served. No review or words can explain what a culinary gem this place turned out to be. The talk of the entire table was literally about how amazing the food was and that we would definitely take the 45 minute drive to go again. Very few places that I've eaten at have left such an impression that I would actually go out of my way to go eat again. The Laurel Diner is definitely on my list of best diners I have ever eaten at. I hardly ever leave reviews but this place blew my mind at how everything from the service, the food and even the prices were on point. I would recommend this place to everybody I know. If you ask me, you've never eaten at a diner until you have experienced the Laurel Diner. Definitely go there and try it for yourself. You will thank me later. And don't even get me started on the desserts that are all made in-house. Enough talking, just go there and experience it for yourself. Do it and I guarantee that from your first bite the only thing your mind will be saying to you...

I was traveling from upstate to meet a client & arrived to Long Beach an hour early, so I asked for a recommendation for a diner where I could grab a breakfast. They recommended this diner. As I parked, another car pulled up very close to mine and the guy got out of the car & started cursing me for parking too close to the line, which I didn’t realize (there were plenty of spaces at that moment). I didn’t say anything & moved the car after he went in the restaurant. He was a friend of the restaurant. I went in and politely asked for a table. There were SEVERAL empty tables & empty booths. The waitress tried to seat me at a very small table in the middle of the restaurant & then gave me a hard time when I asked for a booth. To put it bluntly she was arrogant & mean. After a few minutes she relented & said ‘you can sit there FOR NOW’ - basically warning me that she could kick me out of the booth at anytime! I was relieved to get a booth because I was hungry & very tired from my trip. I told her I wanted to run to the restroom before I sat down. As I walked towards the restroom I saw one of their male cooks exit the woman’s restroom! As he walked back to the kitchen he gestured that I could go in there. When I did, I saw he didn’t flush the toilet! Probably didn’t wash his hands either! I walked out & told another waitress sitting alone what happened & that it’s disgusting - especially from someone working in the kitchen. She just stared at me. I walked out & grabbed bfast at Burger King a block away - which was better, cleaner, had plenty of parking, & a NICE staff. I wasn’t going to post a review of this diner but my friend convinced me to share my experience. Especially during a pandemic when hygiene is more important than ever. I gave them one star because based on my experience, I couldn’t...