Billy's Stone Crab Restaurant — Restaurant in Hollywood

In life, there are many opportunities that will come across your path that give you the chance to prove yourself to others. This may just be one of those places that will help you prove a point in a way other places cannot. It also can help you understand just where you rank in society on certain criteria. I have been trying to prove to my Fiance just how small my penis was for quite some time and I was pleasantly surprised when I got here to find myself in a small penis contest. I was eager to prove myself. I wish I could say I won, or even was competitive, but Miami is the big leagues, and I am honestly still a rookie. It was humbling to understand that there are men out there that have been training at this for so many years and I have a long way to go. Ambiance was 5 stars. Although online there were NO tables available, if you called or just showed up, there were plenty. I am not sure if they do that on purpose to give the illusion that this place is busy, but it wasn't when we went. An endearing little river troll met as at the dock where we were able to sit anywhere we wanted because there were about 5 people there. We went on a Thursday night so maybe keep that in mind. We were given the option of sitting in the "Gliders" on the water. This was by far the best part of the experience. You sit right on the boardwalk and can watch as million dollar boats with Black belt level Small Penis competition winners parade their winnings right in your face. I tried hard to hide my shame as I was there with my Fiance, and I could see her trying not to glance over at their trophies out of respect. Service was great. Our waiter was wonderful and helped us as you would assume a waiter should. When my steak came out and we did not have cutlery, a server reassured me that I did not need a steak knife as the meat was soft enough to cut into with a butter knife. He then brought me said Butter knife and he was right! I was learning so much. Drinks were excellent. Clam chowder was excellent. My fiance got the white and I the red. For $10 a bowl this was the only thing worth ordering at this restaurant in my opinion. I understand that it is with this attitude that I was not able to really compete in the contest. The famous Florida Stone Crabs! There is an option to do ALL YOU CAN EAT and this option, depending on the type or size of crab you get ranges from $200-300. We settled on getting the Jumbo Crab for $85 to see if we liked it and then proceed from there. Unfortunately, I was not ready. My pallet is not refined enough as all I tasted was a small piece of semi fluffy nothing. It reminded me of when I was a kid and I tried to eat Plato. I didn't want the other men to think my penis wasn't small so I quickly threw about $45 dollars worth of sea turd over my should and into the water as i pretended to enjoy! We decided to not continue with the Crab experience and ordered a Filet Mignot and Lobster Alfredo. Filet was pretty tasteless but was cooked pretty perfectly. I actually did use the butter knife to cut it. Lobster Alfredo was pretty good. My fiance told the waiter it was my birthday and I think he could see that I was embarrassed about the apparent size of my member comparative to the others on the dock so he was gracious enough to bring me a birthday Key Lime dessert. He then lit the candle for me as my fiance sang happy birthday. I really felt like a man at that point. At the end of the night, My fiance paid the bill and it was at this point that reality sunk in: I did not have as small a penis as I thought I did. I am working on it. I promise to come back stronger and smaller and spend way more money on tasteless food in the attempt to prove to others that I am indeed a man of value.

My serious recommendation: Take someone here for the amazing view of the water, get some drinks, get some chowder, and go to Bar Taco across the street afterwards for your meal. Valet was $10 which is super cheap all...

My wife and I were extremely disappointed with the food in this restaurant. Definitely not worth the $267 that we spent. We ordered fried calamari for our appetizer, two dinner salads and one lobster bisque soup. For our main entree my wife ordered two grilled lobster tails and I ordered the $70 Ribeye steak with a shareable side of Lyonnaise potatoes. Our server brought us bread and butter and then our dinner salads. I asked our server why would we be getting our salads before our appetizer and he said it was taking a little bit longer to cook. Ten minutes later the bus boy/assistant brought out our fried calamari and looked surprised to see our salad plates empty on the table and commented "oh you got the salads already". The fried calamari was cold and soggy, as if it had been sitting out for a while. I mentioned it to our server and he was very apologetic and told us he would make it up. A few minutes later he brought out the soup and mumbled something about running out of lobster bisque and said , here's some clam chowder on the house with two spoons. I hate clam chowder and my wife had wanted lobster bisque. Our server never bothered to ask us if this would be acceptable. My wife commented that it had too much pepper. When the server came back to pick the plate up, he asked me if I had tried it and I told him no, I don't like clam chowder and he turned around and left. Finally he brought us our main entrees. My wife's lobster tails were over cooked and dry. My ribeye steak was very tough and chewy, with too much gristle (the connective tissue) on the steak. I ended up leaving more than half on my plate. The Lyonnaise potatoes were horrible. Very greasy and tasted old. We pretty much left it on touched. The server kept apologizing and brought us a slice of key lime pie to share on the house. That I have to say was very good. I didn't want to make a scene and was so upset that I just wanted to pay my bill and leave. At the end we were charged for the lobster bisque that we never had and the so called "I will take care of you" was for a free slice of key lime pie. Unbelievable! Will never come back or recommend this...

Love at first sight you say? Love at first bite we did. We had an amazing experience with our waiter Allen who was a ton load of fun on the 1st day as we got off the plane. We googled seafood restaurant close by and our 1st choice was a very poor experience to sit down to, so we left and visited our 2nd choice Billy's. Was an amazing impression of the setup as we entered, and the atmosphere with the view was breath taking, differ to the regular inland patio sit down in Toronto. To see the boats and ski doo's passing by was entertaining in itself.

Allen suggested the key West grouper and grilled asparagus and he wasn't lying when I took the 1st bite and all the flavors was bursting on my pallet. Everything we ordered on the menu, seafood linguini to our drinks with that rich mouth watering warm decadent chocolate cake for dessert...mmmmmmmmmm mmmmmm😊😊😊😊😊😊. We had to take some home for the next day.. food was amazing. Service was exceptionally great and the manager Franco was our fellow Canadian Montrealer we got to meet and had a wonderful conversation.. we felt so at home that we didn't realize we sat down in restaurant for 3hrs talking dining and entertaining and watching the sunset go down.. by the sound of this long review you can tell I have a lot to say. So enjoyed that we went back for dinner on our last night before flying back to Toronto and our waiter Brandon was much of a sweetheart as Allen. They took good care of us and Franco was glad to see us again, so he stuck around long enough to engaged in another conversation of his trip down to maimi and how he never returned. Such a friendly warm and inviting staff and crew members at this restaurant. Even the laughter coming from other patrons when you look around and see their faces of enjoyment and entertainment, you can tell the comfort level was real. I'd recommend this location 200 times over if you ever visit Hollywood Forth Lauderdale. You won't regret the experience from start to end at Billy's Stone Crab. 💯💯💯👏🏾👏🏾👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽 We definitely will be back. Thank you Franco, Allen and Brandon for making this 1st time experience much to talk about with smiles...