Missie B's — Restaurant in Kansas City

Oh honey, I’ve been going to Missie B’s for years, and let me tell you — the nostalgia is starting to feel more like a time loop. Buckle up, because I’ve got thoughts, and we're going to hit every department.

The Music

Let’s talk playlists. Or should I say... playlist singular, because it hasn’t changed since Obama was in office.

Downstairs? Same tired retro pop like we’re stuck at a Forever 21 closing sale. And when they do play something new, it’s the kind of track that makes you want to sit down, not get up. Someone throw in a beat — EDM? Electro-pop? Literally anything with a pulse?

Upstairs? Whew. If I wanted to feel like I was stuck in a Berlin warehouse rave from 2002 with one looping bassline and no words for 10 minutes, I’d just put on a white tank top and dance in my garage.

And Chance Romance? No ma’am. You've had chance after chance and it's still giving Spotify free trial with zero curation. The only redeeming beat in that building comes from DJ Chef Nguyen — the only one who seems to know what century we’re in.

The Lighting

The lighting is hanging on by hope, duct tape, and someone’s expired electrician license.

Downstairs looks like someone installed Home Depot track lights and called it ambiance. Baby, you’ve got money coming in — invest in some LEDs that don’t make us look like ghost stories.

Upstairs? It’s like staring into the sun. The lights are cranked up to “surgical suite” trying to distract us from half the rig being dead and dusty. Newsflash: No one wants to drop it low while being blasted by gamma rays.

Downstairs Dance Floor

Calling it a “dance floor” is generous. It’s more of a dance tile. Crammed in tighter than drag queens backstage at Pride. Lose a few of those high-top tables and let the crowd breathe. And let us dance on the stage, damn it — it’s giving "foot traffic only" instead of “main character moment.”

Upstairs Remodel

You call that a remodel? You added a wall and rolled out carpet like it’s a Motel 6 lobby. Carpet? In a bar where people drop drinks like bad habits? Bold choice. Bold and bad.

Bathrooms

Listen, I’ve seen frat house bathrooms after homecoming weekend look more dignified. Sticky, smelly, and tragic — like a cautionary tale in tile form.

Competition Alert

And now — let’s talk about the tea. Q is snatching wigs and stealing your crowd. Better music, cleaner space, and guess what? They take cards. Yes, cards — not just that wrinkled ten from your pocket. Q is giving people what they actually want, and they’re doing it effortlessly. Meanwhile, Missie’s is still over here acting like it’s allergic to updates.

Y’all better be shaking, sweating, and scared, because the game has changed — and Missie B’s is falling behind.

Step it up, or step aside.

With love (but mostly shade), A once-loyal regular who’s tired...

This place used to be good, and still is for some.

The good: David D: one of the best bartenders in town. Robert C: also one of the best bartender in town. 3 The owner, has finally put a little money back into the place, especially in the upstairs dance floor. Lighting, sound, stage, etc.

The bad: Downstairs is still a dive for the most part, except for the show side. That nasty mean viscous woman that tends bar and is a manager of some sort. Horrible person that enjoys humiliating the occasional uncomfortable customer. watered down drinks - full of ice. 4 pathetic drag queens that have zero talent and just put their hands out for cash while they barely lip sync. They don't work and entertain for their tips. 5 No control of the back stairs and smoking area. Over packed with people. Dangerous as hell if there was an emergency and people had to get out of there. How do they get away with that indoor smoking area? The rest of the bartenders cater to younger guys. The somewhat older patrons are treated like second class citizens. Hard to get a drink from them. It's clear they don't want us there, unless you're one of the near nightly heavy drinkers. The men's bathroom downstairs is a joke in size, maneuverability, and cleanliness. This is after the remodel of it. Safety, security, hygiene comes last. Maybe the costs to buy off inspectors so customers can smoke indoors, not respect emergency egress, and have inadequate facilities for the number of patrons eats up the profits they can reinvest. Hard to believe with the watered down drinks, and cash only revenue. However, I'm sure they declare all that cash and pay their fair share of taxes. The cover charge is applied randomly and discriminatingly. Regular heavy drinkers never pay (and are allowed to leave staggering drunk night after night). Young hot ones never pay. Friends of the staff never pay. The rest are expected to pay whether or not we are there for the show. Some of the door cover charge collectors/age checkers are very nasty people. Some are ok. Nothing there is worth the $10.00 cover if you're not there for the lame drag shows. This place needs competition in the worst way.

Sad a decent gay bar can't make it in this town. 303, which is too small,...

I've been to Missie B's about 3 times now, and each time it has been, well, interesting. The most recent time, my fianceé, her mother, and I were treated like kids. We asked the bouncer when the show was, then when the dance floor would open. He replied that the dance floor had nothing to do with the show instead of answering the question. We noticed he had a credit card reader handy, so we asked if we could pay for our $10 (per person) cover with a card. We were then informed that it was cash-only. Why is that, exactly, when you have the tools to be credit card friendly? The older guys seated at the bar stared at us as we walked around to find our place at the bar. Of course, it was also cash-only, and there was a 2-drink minimum. I'm still not clear what the 2-drink minimum was in reference to, but needless to say I didn't pull out enough cash to get each of us 2 drinks unless they were water. The waitress informed us of this in such a way - "You guys know this is all cash-only", continuing the theme of being treated like idiots. By that point we were fed up with the lack of customer service and the bad vibes, so we left. I'm not giving them another chance if I...