Joe's Stone Crab — Restaurant in Miami Beach

Thanks to the Cooking Channel's "The Best Thing I Ever Ate" series and Chef Bobby Flay's personal pick, a meal at Joe's Stone Crab was set as we were in the area. My concerens about the dress code and what I anticipated to be "snooty service", all turned out to be on the down low and relaxed.

HISTORY: Joe's got its start in 1913, serving up fish and meat. The infamous stone crabs were introduced in 1921 only after a cooking trial produced favorable results. Amazingly, the restaurant is still run by the same family, a rarity these days. Many legends have dined here, including Al Capone, Will Rogers and Amelia Earhart.

ATMOSPHERE: If I'm not mistaken, they take up almost an entire city block with the restaurant on one end and the takeaway on the other, though they takeaway was closed when we were here in June. The takeaway is an open-air, more casual setting with a similar menu and some exclusive items. The main restaurant's bar area is old-world beautiful with rich, warm-colored wood everywhere. The dining area was spacious and not loud.

DRESS CODE: For guys, a sleeve is required, meaning no tank tops. Not knowing what to expect, we wore long sleeve shirts and dress pants and were a bit overdressed as I observed lots of t-shirts, jeans, shorts and unbelievably big booty aerobic wear LOL.

MENU: Seafood apps, soups, salads, chicken, steak, sandwiches, burgers, stone crab, king crab, lobster, fish, desserts.

FOOD: New England Clam Chowder My spouse and I halved a bowl. Thin and creamy, it was chock full of potatoes, celery and bacon but the amount of clams were meager.

Stone Crab Normally available in three sizes (select, large, jumbo), only the large size was available (five claws). They're served cold and cracked with a mustard-mayo sauce for dipping. The meat was sweet with a stringy texture. I'm still on the fence on whether the crab went better with the mustard sauce or drawn butter. Highly recommended.

King Crab Legs We received four legs with the claws, served warm and cracked with drawn butter. Mainstream good. Stick to and spend your money only on stone crabs when dining here.

We shouldn't have ordered any sides as they mostly went to waste due to full stomachs. I didn't care for the taste or mushy texture of the Spinach. Lyonnaise is homemade hashed brown potatoes topped with caramelized onions that was just too heavy. The portions are good for 3+ to share.

SERVICE: No reservations are taken. We checked in with the maître d' and sat at the bar for a drink. Bartender was friendly and professional.

10 minutes later our name was announced overhead. We had a comedic, friendly, down-to-earth server. He explained the in's and out's of the menu and answered all of our questions. We went with his suggestion of a stone crab & king crab combo.

Come time to pay the bill, he asked me for a signature on the bottom of the check before charging my card. I didn't have to ask why as I overheard him telling another table that a lot of people dispute their charges later by saying they weren't in the restaurant. Terrible!

TIP: Stone crab season runs from October 15 - May 15, so anytime before or after those dates, you're eating frozen crab, a fact not hidden by the restaurant.

FACT: Only the claws are harvested from the stone crab and can regenerate themselves in about 18 months. Sustainable cruelty? Sorry, I had to try them!

OVERALL: The infamous stone crab lives up to its hype. Easily one of our better...

We came here because this was a highly recommended place. Others were telling us: “you MUST try it if you’re in South Beach, especially if you like seafood”. So this was on our bucket list. We made a reservation for Sunday brunch time, well ahead of the day (definitely look at their website as the restaurant has weird hours but their take away hours are almost all day, every day). It’s a very classy place. Has an upscale atmosphere. Since it wasn’t dinner time, the place wasn’t packed. We asked to sit outside and they were very accommodating. The outdoor seating has a beautiful fountain and greenery all around. The neighborhood is relatively quiet, not like the South Beach strip. We had one person seat us, another person bring the menus, a different person bring the bread, yet another ask our drink order and finally a waiter. The waiter asked if it’s our first time here, it was, he then told us a little history about the restaurant and left us to look through the menus. We wanted to order a few things to try out, especially at a new place that’s expensive. The waiter kept pushing and upselling the jumbo crab meal. Something I didn’t want but he kept pushing it, saying anything else would just be too small and we HAVE to get this. My friend ended up agreeing and getting it because this was recommended/pushed by the waiter, he would know, right? He does work there. We split the crab bisque (which tasted decent and large enough for 2) and got the coconut shrimp (best part of the whole meal). The crab meal came ($135 + $30 classic meal addition that the waiter kept upselling us) and it was… inedible. The Cole slaw wasn’t mixed, I make better potatoes in the microwave and the cream spinach came from a can. But the crab claws…. NOT good. The quality of food was dive bar quality. We were confused. Especially after all the raving reviews and people recommending this restaurant. This place is so elegant and feels 5 star, you would expect the food to match. We were trying our hardest to finish those claws (should’ve just left them because my stomach did not thank me later). I looked around at the other meals and they all looked similar. No matter what anyone ordered, the food looked subpar. You’re literally paying for the atmosphere, not the food. Maybe we should’ve tried their fish or steak, but they are a crab place. You’d think the crab would be good, right? We were disappointed. We left all our sides barely touched. I asked for a second drink, no one brought it. Granted, it was my fault. I asked the 3 people that waited on us before the waiter, so when I asked the waiter he did bring it. But no straw. So we waited another few minutes. I finally ask someone else for a straw, a minute later our waiter walks by and stuffs an opened straw in my drink as he passes by, with his hands. I was in shock. Were his hands clean? Who knows? Isn’t that the fun part of eating out? Bacterial Russian roulette? When you come out paying over $250 for brunch, you would think the service would be a little better and more cohesive, even if the food is not to your liking. This left a bad taste in my mouth, for more...

I was disappointed with Joe’s Stone Crab. When researching where to go during my trip to Miami I was attracted to the claims that this was a Miami institution, and had been in business for a long time, but overlooked more negative comments like this was Olive Garden food for Michelin Star prices. Unfortunately, the later was the reality- the food was not good and extremely overpriced.

The service was okay. My main complaint was that this place is huge and does a business by volume. We felt like a number here- how could they get us in and out the door as quick as possible. The pacing of the meal was incredibly rushed. We ordered three appetizers- oysters, coconut shrimp and Caesar salad and all three came out at the same time and super quickly. The second we finished eating our appetizers our mains came out. We literally spent 40 minutes in the restaurant eating (and an additional 15 waiting for our check). It was not a pleasant experience at all and not paced out in a relaxing manner. We were also sat next to a bussing station so there were lots of clacking of dishes and glasses and silverware all night and tables of half eaten food.

The food. Most seemed pre-prepared (which allowed the service to be so robotic and quick). The oysters had clearly been prepped earlier and had sat in a fridge for awhile (the oysters had melted into the ice). The oysters were chewy and soggy and not well shucked. The coconut shrimp was pretty decent. But the Caesar salad was offensive- not anything close to an actual Caesar salad- it has onions a green pepper and a pepperchini, also no croutons but an Asiago crisp to add to an already too cheesy salad. By far the worst dish. Paella was dry and generally not good, crab cakes were fine. The creamed spinach with garlic was good. They serve Graeters ice cream (from Ohio!) but we didn’t order any dessert after not being impressed by the food.

Ambiance- super large space but also super crowded. Serves a broad crowd of people dressed nice and others dressed in beach swimsuits. Lots of staff but bustling and not super relaxing.

Overall I think people may have nostalgia about this place- it may mean something to people from going over a long period, but absent that type of connection it didn’t really translate to a first timer. Instead it was just Olive Garden quality food that was outrageously priced, with a lackluster presentation and generally...