Le Jardinier — Restaurant in Miami

Instagram/Tourist Trap! Stay Away!

Michelin rated is an absolute joke, they have plaques all over the restaurant touting former stars or ones earned in another location? I was a little confused because I was too busy wondering if they ordered the plaques off of AliBaba

Went for Brunch, which normally I know is not a reflection of dinner service but there were so many red flags. I almost felt like leaving my card for restaurant advice, but this is on the house. Read up

Unfortunately I read a different menu online than the one I got but I think that was on me and decided to get excited for it anyway. The lack of skill in seasoning and cookery would have left me disappointed regardless

The Good: The two cocktails I had, maybe I should have made it 5

The Food:

Starter:

French Toast was OK, small portion which isnt the end of the world. Toast was decent, no powdered sugar, good butter flavor, custard a touch bland but at this point I was still enjoying myself.

No creme to be found, just a small quenelle of butter, 3 blueberries, 3/4 of a strawberry, and 1.5 mushy raspberries (thanks a lot), not enough red wine reduction for a bread dish and some random green oil that was old or didnt have enough herbs infused to make an impression (maybe mint? maybe basil, who cares) : A dollop of creme fraiche would have done wonders and saved the plate. Again I was not upset at this point

My partner had the avocado toast, which was fine, but the toast was cut very very thick and there was not much guac, we paid $10 for smoked salmon upcharge (which was fishy, I sell smoked salmon for a living and love it) and we got maybe 1.3 oz of smoked salmon for the huge upcharge. The toast would have been fine but they provided a bread service already (which was lackluster too, mini baguettes were ok). They could have at least done avocado slices, their guac was the WORST we had in Miami (Best was Ball and Chain in little havana with the chicharonnes and plaintain chips, highly recommend and I will leave them a review too)

Entree:

Jumbo Lump Crabcake, Avocado Mousse, Apple and celery relish;

Man,…. Do I love seafood, but I admit I am very picky. I was so curious what a michelin french restaurant would do with a crab cake, and I had such high hopes for the salad and pickled fresnos (a personal favorite)

Our table got 3 crab cakes, all VERY different sizes (not michelin at all), mine was huge! My crabcake was so effing bland and bordering on dry. No seasoning on the outide after it came out of the deep fryer, praise the lord I had an arnold palmer and a lemon to breathe some life into this thing. It was all crab on the inside, which was almost nice, but maybe 5-10% of the weight could have been some fine dice pepper,onion, celery, or literally anything to give it some kind of identity, a small addition of mayo or dijon wouldnt kill anyone. It was just so lame, I get better in lobster shacks out in the boonies of Nj or Ny… So sad. To make things worse there are these dumb little hershey kisses of bland avocado mousse all over the plate and tasteless red ones too. At least hit the mousse with a pinch of k salt to enhance flavor, why is there more avocado on the menu, some lime juice in the mousse (acid) might have saved the crab cake. some vinegar (acid) in the red mousse might have saved the dry crab cake and enhanced the flavor off unknown red mousse, … gosh how does a michelin spot screw up crab cake. One single pickled freshno on my limp flacid salad. The salad; apple and celery (WHICH WAS NOT A RELISH FOR THE RECORD) it was a julienne BLAND salad. That was premixed at the start of service for everyone because all the colors bled into itself and apples and celery looked like a grey mess, I wish i took a picture but I had meant to post to my IG and show it off, not write this review. Barely any “relish” and also dry, did not get the relief of apple/celery juices for my dry crab cake. I went through all the mousse out of pure necessity. sorry for rambling.. I have so much more to say and Google maxed me...

Hey its me : UltraSupremium with the rest of my take on the worst $100/head restaurants experience I have ever had.

—— I just left off on the crab cake and thats enough about that;

my S/O had the eggs benedict,

I didnt try the salad but it looked kind of wack, she said it was ok but the lettuce was left in huge pieces and was difficult to eat. For a place called “THE GARDENER” the salad and veggie game is severely lacking, as is salt and acid; and if you are looking for some perfectly blanched unseasoned vegetables they didn’t even have that. Eggs benedict was a 7/10. Better than most i’ve had but not really a showstopper that could save the day. Sauce was solid.

Dessert;

I knew I shouldve gotten the chocolate tart; We both got the butterfly, I thought it was going to be a slam dunk.

So disappointing !

Tasted a little on the stale side honestly, which is weird because I know they are popping these out of silicon molds from the freezer either before or after glazing. Maybe their fridge smells? Nevermind

the texture of the mousse inside was lacking, the yuzu mousse was actually a curd overpowered by a second bland mousse i guess to balance the flavor? this was a miss, could have been a delicious and balanced pistachio yuzu mousse instead, maybe their idea was good too but bad execution

pistachio sable was paper thin and swallowed up by the gross neon green glaze skip the white chocolate for this flavor combination. paper thin pistachio sable is impressive but a thicker and crunchier pistachio sable would have been perfect relief and could have saved the mousse if it was about a nickel thick. And they poured a little bit of a very very sour raspberry sauce on my s/o and absolutely drowned mine (two different portions again, bad form) the amount of powerful sauce i had ruined my dish. I wanted to like this one so bad…

Service: We def got the sunday crew, explained some things well enough when asked but we got a whole dialogue on steak and eggs and eggs benedict (like we never had it before) and skipped explaining the other stuff, overall service was ok but i weird mix of laid back guys and overly uptight women. Whats the mood here because wait for the atmosphere

Atmosphere: Interior is well decorated but not my style, I like the plants on the wall, but could have used more “le jardinier”

The chairs were large, bulky and green, difficult to move around and sit in and awkwardly spaced from the table, and mine had a MASSIVE stain that looked like someone had previously #2’d but was likely red wine… i hope

The bathroom wasnt michelin at all. Fixtures were oddly placed from a contractors standpoint, and it was messy. Loose soap container that was labeled but looked pretty lame, bad towels, toilet paper was inconveniently close and behind the toilet, just a loose uncovered roll, and the toilet was difficult to flush without contortion ( i flush at least twice for the benefit of the next persons nose) TMI but it had to be said.

Blasting dance music at 1pm was a strange choice but I just chalked it up to Miami, Debussy be damned…

I am not crazy, … it was really just that...

How this place has a Michelin star is a mystery. I went for lunch alone. I was surprised with only $38 two course lunch. Well, you get, what you pay for. My first choice was Mushroom veloute, which translates to 2 spoons of delicious soup, 3 slices of mushrooms and few green fingerprints, which were literally “nice touch“. First, I thought it was amuse bouche, because how tiny was the portion. My second course was small portion of Seafood Bouillabaisse with beautiful presentation, unforgettable rubbery texture and zero flavor. Obviously, chef believes, that the 17 drops of actually tasty reduction on the bottom of the plate, would add flavor to the overcooked tasteless food. Sorry for the disappointment, but it’s not working. I had 2 bites and send back 90% of the untouched plate. Nobody wondered why I didn’t like it. It was first time I ever returned food at Michelin restaurant. I would prefer to pay triple and have a decent sized tasty lunch, then experienced this tragicomedy. Sadly the highlight of the lunch was a bread basket, which I unfortunately needed to ask for. I was only person who didn’t received it automatically. The service was a disaster on another level. I was the only one sitting at the bar and there were 8 other guests in the restaurant. About 5 people of waiting staff were hanging together in front of bathrooms having great time. I asked for glass of champagne and strawberry on the side. I was told, I can have raspberry instead and I agreed. I got glass of champagne with 12 raspberries. Please, can someone explain the bartender the “slight” difference between 1 strawberry on the side and Sangria? I was basically ignored for 2 hours, while bartender was successfully hiding behind column in the middle of the bar. I was not asked once if I need anything. I was pouring my own bottled water and sitting with empty champagne/sangria glass and dirty dishes in front of me forever. It was very painful unnecessary too long (almost 2hours) torture. As a industry professional and huge fan of Joel Robuchon, and his legacy I can’t believe what I just experienced. I was in many JR restaurants all over the world and this was such a disappointment. I was actually thinking to write an email to JR International. To future guests, I would highly suggest to bring table ring lights, extra cameras and take lots of pictures of your food. If you pretend, you are an influencer, it will guarantee you more attention and better service. I wouldn’t pay attention to 5 stars reviews posted here mostly by fashion bloggers, with zero knowledge about Michelin standards and...