Barney Greengrass — Restaurant in New York

I have to say Barney Greengrass is just not the bagel pinnacle that it used to be. I should have known the place has taken a turn for the worse when you're greeted by a merciless "Hostess" who appears to have modeled her personality on Genghis Khan, than taking names and seating people in this shoe box-sized restaurant. Curt, abrupt and dismissive are all words that are too kind for her Darth Vader demeanor.

There are two places you can be seated: In the side room where there are actually booths or in the main area sandwiched between two deli counters from 1932 where they play Tetris with the tables in order to wedge parties so close together that you have to ask neighbors to get up from their breakfast so you can go to one of the two disgusting bathrooms in the back. Speaking of the bathrooms, has anyone at Barney's ever thought of hiring a professional cleaning service? Do I really need to play a game of Twister in order to sidestep caked on urine from three days ago, or figure out how not to touch the door knob so I don't get a lovely case of Necrotizing Fasciitis? Disgusting.

Once seated, our waiter came over and insisted we have the potato latkes. And by insisted, I mean demanded. None of us wanted the latkes, or actually ordered them, but moments later, they appeared. The waiter was gruff, bossy and a know-it-all. I've been coming here for quite some time to know that this is somewhat of a schtick, but when he totally butchered the order, getting two things completely wrong, you realize, you rather have less annoyance and more accuracy.

Speaking of which, while the eye-watering prices have climbed since my last visit like everywhere else, the portions have also shrunk by the same ratio. A lox platter is about 2/3 of the size it once was, and additional elements have been reduced as well. Oh, and you wanted a nice juicy tomato for your bagel? Not here. Looks like they found a nice batch growing on the outskirts of Chernobyl and shipped it in just in time for our meal. Oh, and if you request Half & Half for your coffee, prepared to receive the "stink eye" and wait for it to appear 10 minutes later - just in time for your thimble-sized cup go become completely cold.

And what is it with all the plates? We're seated at a table the size of a postage stamp. Does every shot glass of coffee need a saucer? Do we really need 12 plates for each platter when we're only six people? It's ridiculous.

With service this poor, food that is truly nothing special and being beatdown by a disgruntled actor that never got a role beyond Man #4, you may consider complaining to the NOzempic owner, Gary Greengrass, that your experience was subpar, and you can't actually read your paycheck, adding insult to fiscal injury. But he couldn't care less and just wants to play with the cash billowing out of his 1924 register like he's Mr. Monopoly.

There's clearly an opportunity for another establishment to come in and take the crown off the Sturgeon King and reduce this overblown clown show back to the annals of NYC history. At this point, Stop 'n' Shop has better bagels and Barney's sad excuse for Belly Lox is bested by my corner Bodega. If you're visiting NYC, spend your time and money somewhere else, you're not...

This has to got to be some sort of joke. What is going on? Outrageously expensive. A bagel with fish STARTS at $20. Then they nickle and dime ya; tomato, onions? That's 2 bucks. Capers? 3 bucks! (CAPERS?!) Want the bagel open? $2 extra, chump! (Wait- wait-- this isn't some sorta stand up routine?) And the punchline? It isn't even good. No, it's not even CLOSE to being good; at best, it is below average for New York. The fish was completely average; equally good lox at any bagel place, like Broadway bagels nearby. The bagel? Awful. Absolutely, inarguably, irreparably bad. Not fresh, but bready, and absolutely-unmistakeably grocery store level bagel. The cream cheese? Hard, claylike Philadelphia. All this for $25??? Did I mention that it is CASH ONLY (me and the tables next to us only found out when we got the receipt). I hope you brought $100 in cash- you'll need it!

What the heck are people doing here, with Absolute, BOs and so many other delicious, affordable, bagel places nearby, all equipped with equally good if not better lox? It is a complete mystery to me. Complete with old school New York in-your-face "Whaddya havin?" service, incongruous with the flabbergasting prices and comically disappointing quality, I am at a loss. In the words of Oprah, We got bamboozled! You got bamboozled! You ALL get bamboozled!

Puzzled, intrigued, and mystified by the continuing existence and popularity of such a mediocre place, I did some research and identified the clientele as belonging to 3 categories: captive victims: people, like us, who unwittingly march in, wait, get stuck, have their eyes pop-out at the menu, suck it up and order anyways, peck at their meal stitched together from mostly StopN'Shop ingredients, and are booted out on their merry way barely fed, fleeced for cash and generally confused at what the heck happened. tourists, who could be seen as belonging to the above category, expect that they are so clueless that they may not recognize that they have been scammed, and finally, the NOSTALGIA crowd, neighborhood septuagenarians who genuinely do not give a rat's behind about quality, flavor, freshness, or value. In fact, they enjoy being highway-robbed for subpar, middling crumbs, all so they can be surrounded by imitation old school signs with iconic fonts and burly grumpy attendants. Who cares? Certainly not me.

If they continue at this rate, they will lose the nostalgia crowd to natural causes, and everyone else to self-inflicted causes of self-elected mediocrity and extortionism. I can only hope, out of respect and good faith, that once this was a respectable...

BEWARE SCAMMERS

I absolutely dread writing terrible reviews, however it’s my duty to inform every one of the blatant robbery this place thrives on.

I absolutely love supporting small restaurants and businesses, especially those that are family owned and operated for generations. However, I don’t support the bad business they practice here.

First, it’s 2025 please provide your guests with a transparent check and bill at the end of the dining experience, not some scribble on a sheet of paper with no list prices (this practice might have worked in 1912 when the restaurant first opened)

Our waiter this afternoon gave us no time to look at the menu and wanted to rush us out to quickly seat the next table (as there was a line outside) He insisted we order the latkes, which we did. They were brought out to us in less than 30 seconds (as if they were sitting on the side under a heat lamp) they were brought out before we even ordered our main entree.

We then proceeded to order two sandwiches ($21 each, as specified on the menu, fair)

Immediately noticed this place was a cash cow and wanting to push people in and out as quick as they can. After about 10minutes after our sandwich’s arrived to our table, we were hit with the bill ($79) I kindly asked out waiter if tax and tip were included, in which he told me “it was not”. I kindly asked for a breakdown, as there were no legible words written on the bill (this is also mentioned by other reviewers below)

So I did the math with the waiter and asked: “if two sandwiches at $21 each, were the latkes you pushed on me $37?”

He admitted to have miscalculated and overcharged us, however, it’s extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing to have this type of conversation to a waiter in a busy restaurant.

I paid what I owed and left

PLEASE AVOID THIS PLACE AT ALL COSTS UNLESS YOU WANT TO PAY A FORTUNE FOR A MEDIOCRE BAGLE!

Transparency, Honesty and Quality are how you ensure repeat customers, I guess that’s why everyone there was a tourist visiting the...