Texas de Brazil - Miami Dolphin Mall — Restaurant in Sweetwater

This night was a comedy of errors. Only it isn't that funny when it happens to you. I can't remember the last time I suffered through such terrible service at a restaurant.

Where do I even begin? Let's start with the wine list. I ordered FOUR different bottles—because surely a reputable establishment (one that's known for steak and meats I might add) wouldn’t just not have a few options, right? WRONG. Every. Single. Bottle. I ordered off the menu. Was. Out. Of. Stock.

In comes Javier, The Manager. What was Javier, the Manager's response? “Oh, we’re really low on inventory.” Ah yes, inventory... the one thing you should have, you know, in stock.

Professionalism was clearly on backorder, just like the wine. You know, a simple concept—having wine on hand that’s listed on your menu. But guess what? NONE of them were in stock. Not a single bottle. I was graced with the manager’s profound wisdom: “It’s just a lack of inventory.” Oh, fantastic! A lack of inventory? You mean your entire wine cellar is basically a sad collection of empty shelves? Who knew?

I was then treated to the special joy of waiting 20 minutes after each bottle I ordered to arrive, only to have the manager graciously explain that he would satisfy me tonight with a recommended bottle "at a discounted price." His level of care for my plight was only rivaled by my apathy for whatever excuse he was about to spew. It was so clear he had the energy of someone who’d just been told his dog ate the entire menu. Javier's lack of care is an art form in itself. Five stars for truly mastering the art of indifference.

The water situation was equally tragic. Not once did a glass of water come to our table. Did I ask for it? Yes. Did I look like a dehydrated raisin by the time dessert came? Absolutely. But hey, who needs water when you’re sipping on “lack of inventory”?

And the service? Sigh. Let’s just say I’ve had more enthusiastic responses from my auto-reply emails. The server actually recommended that "next time I should bring my own wine. It's cheaper anyways." At this point, all I could do was laugh.

At the end of this disaster of a dining experience, a few of us decided to ask for a glass of Port Wine. Apparently, in the world Texas de Brazil at Dolphin Mall, “port wine” is a mythical creature, so the server, probably after reading the menu with the kind of focus you'd expect from a sleep-deprived raccoon, comes back to me and says, “Sorry, we don’t have pork wine.”

PORK WINE. You can't make this up.

I stared at her for a moment, hoping this was some sick joke. Did I accidentally walk into a BBQ joint where everything is served with pork wine? Or was I being punked by Ashton Kutcher? Was there an underground wine trend I hadn’t heard of, where pigs are now the key ingredient in fermentation? I was very confused. “Pork wine?” I asked, trying to piece together what had just happened. She nods with complete confidence, like this is the most logical thing ever.

I explained (calmly, at first), “No, I ordered port wine, not pork wine.” She blinks a few times as if I’ve just suggested the moon is made of cheese and says, “Oh, sorry, I think he understood pork wine.” The amazing Javier finally came back with a list of port wines available. How this guy is the Manager of Texas de Brazil is beyond me.

In short, if you’re in the mood for paying $62 per person for the privilege of being told what you can’t have, while being ignored and dying of thirst, this place is a must-visit. Do yourself a favor and head to a gas station—at least you can get a bottle of water. So, if you’re in the mood for a “magical” dining experience where you’ll never get what you order, where the staff won’t notice you’re alive, and where you might just pass out from thirst—this place is for you. If you’re a masochist. Zero stars is the real rating. Would not recommend this restaurant unless you’re in the market for pork wine. And I’ll be applying for a job as a manager here just to see if I can do less and get paid more and possibly give Javier a class on "how NOT to manage...

I love Texas De Brazil and i go quite often. This was the worst experience I’ve ever had. I went about a week ago. When we arrived to the restaurant and were seated it took about 12 minutes for anyone to approach us. We were ignored until my sister got one of their servers attention and asked for our server. He asked us what we wanted to drink and the temperature of our meat. I noticed tables seated after us were greeted within two minutes. I timed it. Afterwards or server came about 5-10 minutes later and asked us the same question again about the meat temperature and drinks . After we began eating some of the meats (not a lot because most of the meat coming to our table was medium and we requested medium well), i noticed that our server barely interacted with us. Took her about 10 minutes to get our sodas She was really attentive to her other tables but for some reason she didn’t care to interact with us or ask how everything was going. The other Texas de Brazil’s I’ve been to the managers are constantly rotating and checking in on the guests dining experience. The male manager similarly to our server ignored us. He walked past us at least 10 times without saying anything. He even squeezed between our table and another and spoke with them and not us. The treatment we received felt racially driven.Clearly i was upset about the treatment and asked the server if i could speak to a manager but not the one who had been ignoring us all night. A female manager came to the table i think her name was Ingrid or something similar and i shared my concerns with her about how we were treated and she said she would talk to them. That’s it. She didn’t seem to genuinely care about my experience and she gave me a $15 off coupon for next time even though i told her i was just visiting. It all seemed very fake. Overall horrible experience I’ve never experienced such mistreatment and horrible service at the Tampa and...

I ate at this restaurant for the first time ever on Saturday. We were fortunate enough to have Ernesto as our server. He was amazing!!! We didn't have to wait too long to be seated. I advised Ernesto that it was our first time and he seemed to be excited about it. He was very patient and took his time to explain how the restaurant operated. It's an endless meat fest!!!

Once we gathered our bearings we endulged in all the restaurant had to offer. The servers were great! They begin by actually placing the napkins over your lap. We got up and went to the salad bar where they have loads of fresh rice, vegetables, cheese, soup, and my favorite... shrimp!!! 😋

I sampled as many meats as I could before my stomach could take no more. I did not care for the Parmesan chicken, but the leg of lamb was superb. They keep a supply of sweet bananas on the table to cleanse your palate in between meats and mashed potatoes. The cheese bread wasn't so great in my opinion.

The restaurant was beautifully designed and decorated. Parking is deplorable. Be prepared to valet or carpool. It felt like Brazil in that place and the servers accents were intoxicating. 😍 All of the servers wear beautiful Brazilian attire. They were all male for some reason. Another great thing is the fact that they don't rush you to leave. You can stuff yourself. Then sit and talk while you wait for your food to go down for round two.

The highlight of my visit was Ernesto's beautiful soul as well as the fact that the (well-dressed) manager came over to personally greet me after I paid for my check.

The prices are a bit steep but once you experience the great food and service, it's easy to overlook that. I'm looking forward to starting a GoFundMe page so I can afford to visit this place...