Oyster Oyster — Restaurant in Washington

Oyster Oyster is not for everyone. If what you are looking for is familiar dishes, prepared to approach the pinnacle of perfection, go elsewhere. O/O is going to challenge and bewilder you. Some will be delighted, others offended. You've been warned. What O/O will deliver is an adventure. You will probably encounter flavors you have never tasted before. I guarantee you will encounter them in combinations you’ve never experienced. If you're like me, some will hit the mark (the marigold butter is shockingly good) some will miss (one of the kambuchas tasted just like colonoscopy prep), but you will not be bored. Adventure is about risk and with risk inevitably comes the occasional failure. If you're not failing now and then, you are just playing at risk. O/O is not playing.

The service is relaxed but extremely attentive and professional. Dishes arrive in the hands of a variety of staff, including from the kitchen. Each dish is lovingly described in detail (though it doesn't matter--you'll be left confused as to what the hell you are eating because of the truly novel preparations and combinations). My dinner guest--an experienced patron of fine dining--was just as disoriented as I was, though in different ways. I loved the strange fruity sauce that accompanied the buck-wheaty gnocci, but found the dumplings themselves overly mealy; for her it was the other way around (she liked the gnocci's hearty, nutty flavor, but was turned off by the sweet apricots). Both of us puzzled over the oddly familiar flavor the underlaid the fennel in the summer squash dish--it was both literally and figuratively on the tips of our tongues but neither of us could name it until it came to me as I was dozing off hours later: basil! O/O had my palate so twisted around that by the 3rd course I couldn't identify simple basil.

I loved this place. If you're an experienced diner and have grown bored with the same-old, same-old, I think you may, too. I imagine there are lots of folks who would hate it, and not without reason. There are two terrific (and affordable) Ethiopian places around the corner if you're still hungry.

Pictured below: flash fried celeriac ribbons that reminded me of barbecue potato chip, a stuffed squash blossom that put me in mind of a really good tamale, and a sesame and seaweed wrapped tomato (a substitute for their traditional raw oyster) that was yummy but defies further description. We intended to photograph every course, but were so enraptured by the experience that...

Both me and my wife cook, and for us the food quality and the “wow” from new taste pairings or inventive cooking are THE main draws of eating out. Unfortunately, we were quite disappointed with our experience at Oyster Oyster in that regard. I’m sure their practices and philosophy are great, and the atmosphere is pleasant, but for us the food and wine simply didn’t meet the Michelin quality bar - or the price tag.

The food was OK, but nothing to write home about; not a single dish made me go “Wow!!!”. Tomatoes dish, corn with tarragon, and (for one of us) celeriac stood out as “somewhat above average”. The other dishes were just ok or ok- (looking at you, squash). Both desserts were less than the sum of their ingredients: walnut tahini and berry compote, while both great ingredients, just don’t work with each other, and if your peach needs sugar to taste good, then you need a better peach. Portions sizes are smaller than other restaurants in the same category ($100-ish set menu).

Wine pairing was sub-par, surprisingly; even more surprisingly, my wife and I agreed on that, even though usually our tastes differ. White tasted very ordinary, rose as well, red was good but not special or interesting in any way. Champagne - don’t get me (or my wife) started - should be served in champagne glasses, not in “catch all” wine glasses, to best retain its taste and unwrap it in the glass. We are not posh at all, but serving champagne in a wine glass is like serving tea in a coffee cup - mauvais ton, and especially so for a Michelin restaurant. (Wine serving also felt unusually small, but that’s a different story). As with food, I am sure the stories of the winemakers are great and fitting the philosophy, but I would rather have better wine (and damn it, good white Alsace is not that hard to find!!!)

Service was attentive, but scripted. The kind of service when you don’t actually feel that they care whether you like the food (except for one waitress). Actually, no-one asked if we liked the food - except for that one waitress, who was actually just passing by but had the curiosity and empathy to ask. My wife replied: “I like your haircut,” and the waitress understood...

I mean...I'm pretty sure the James Beard Outstanding Chef winner doesn't need my review, but still I feel like I should let everyone know what a unique dining experience it was. Every course was delicious and different and exciting. If you've been to lots of fine dining, you know the feeling of having seen things before and not being surprised and delighted anymore. I feel like every course at oyster oyster surprised and delighted me. I loved hearing the story of my food, but most importantly the food tasted amazing, every course tasted so delicious. I got the wine pairing and my husband got the zero proof pairing, they were both well worth it, and exceptional. I loved hearing about the wineries, the zero proof was not just some weird over steeped tea concoction trying to mimic the burn of alcohol, instead it was a well thought out nuanced menu where each drink was more amazing than the next. If you have to choose I'd choose the zero-proof because the creativity is awesome! That being said, I got to try some wine varietals I had read about but never tasted, the wine pairing was educational and delicious in the best way. At first I was not wowed by the atmosphere, but as our meal progressed I realized my seat was so comfortable, every table has a view of the kitchen, and the warm and welcoming servers provided a lovely feeling of comfort. I honestly feel like I stumbled into some elven kitchen in the woods, and was fed a beautiful feast of things I had never thought of eating or drinking before..I wouldn't even be able to describe it correctly to my fellow mortals. All I know is I left oyster oyster having experienced something new in fine dining, feeling comfortably full and mildly buzzed, and happy that I had braved the dumpster fire of DC traffic for such a lovely experience. Bottom line, you should go, rest your weary laurels on the comfy chairs, and let the forest elves show you the time...