Master Blaster — Attraction in New Braunfels

Don't bring me back to the shudders ... Master Blaster. First of all the wait was an hour in the 300 degree (Kelvin units) temper ature. Legend has it is that the ass sweat of these riders waiting in line is 60% of the water used to propel the ride (with the other 39% being the tears of riders, more on that later, and a mere 1% being reused piss from the lazy river). Then when you finally reach the front of the line, the worker glares at you and tells you to get on the tube, which is so deflated even Tom Brady would cringe, and getting on is rough because I'm interupting the algae on the tubes binary fission sesh. Then they send you off on the drop and almost instantly (for the heavier rider in the back) cold water from the back gives you a reverse-colonoscopy. Then the second drop happens which is the only lit part because the water is 4 kelvins warmer. The rest of the ride is anticlimactic and literally nothing happens, it just exists to make people's lives awful by rammimg cold water up their asses. Then finally, the nauseating spinny slide of death passes you bu and the ride ends. You get out of your tube, wondering why you waited 8 hours to ride that. Then, the passive agressive schlitterbahn photographers take a picture of you and then give you 98 stickers so you can buy them at the "foto haus" (btw they can't spell... they spell water like wasser) anyways 3 stars it's ok just wear a very...

Imagine going to a water park where you have to wait 2 hours to just to get in a pool. Yes, that's Schlitterbahn. Hope everyone is aware they recently added a line to get into the wave pool around Master Blaster, which there is no shade in the majority of the line. This, combined with the company's greed of not having a real max capacity and overselling tickets is just a heatstroke lawsuit waiting to happen.

I used to a big fan of this waterpark, but today I found it has gone very much downhill. Charging $70 for an experience that could be considered by many, a scam. Will never be back, very disappointing.

However, would like to add the staff did end up refunding me after some debate, so +1 for the customer...

The Schlitterbahn has definitely gone downhill. I travel from California to go to this water park. Usually two to three times a year. Every year it's getting worse and worse. They're turning it into a California type amusement park with all the OSHA requirements. They've lowered the water level in the river, then they have turned down the volume of torrent that comes out of it. It. Very sad. They've closed off entrances and exits to the ride by the parking lot that uses the river water. Not sure what it's called. It's just really gone downhill in general. I don't think I'll be going...