Parkwood at Marble Arch — Hotel in London

I honestly don't know where to start with this awful place. Let me begin at the beginning... long review but please read!||||April 29, 2025 we arrived in the afternoon but had to leave immediately after dropping off our luggage for a booking at Madame Tussauds, therefore, we did not get time to inspect the room on check-in.||When we inspected the room later in the evening it was immediately obvious to us that their description of the twin room we were put in was not as described.||||The room...||- was NOT featured in the hotel images on Expedia nor on their website.||- extremely small and located at the very top of the building, accessed by very steep stairs. Though it does state there is no lift, it does not state that the further up you go, the narrower and steeper the steps become.||- old and NOT newly renovated as were the other rooms featured in their listing||- stained walls||- old, cheap furniture||- cracked skirting boards, doors and fixtures||- badly painted in areas (even over the edges of picture frames where they just painted over the top)||- extremely dusty with dirt behind the bed headboards and radiator||- filthy windows and window ledges||- badly stained carpet||- dirty kettle with old water||- minimal inclusions such as toiletries, and what there was was cheap and nasty||- old, dented and dirty mini fridge||- and the absolute worst of our bedroom was the filthy, stained pillows that had no pillow protectors, and stained sheets and duvets (see more below)||||The bathroom...||- old, dirty and cracked floor tiles||- old and poorly grouted wall tiles||- old, broken vanity unit that had a ridiculous amount of sealant to fill gaps||- excess amount of sealant around the shower taps and toilet||- most of the shower glass was missing and a curtain installed instead||- warped plastic fittings on the shower frame||- missing toilet paper holder||- mouldy sink plug||||Reception and the rest of the building...||||- that they call themselves a hotel is a deception. They are not a hotel by any stretch of the imagination.||- musty and mouldy smell||- cluttered and messy reception room. Most definitely not as featured in the image listings.||- steep and narrow stairs, and unsafe stair balustrades to access top floor where our room was located||- communal bathroom the same as for our bathroom. Though we wouldn't use a communal bath, if it's on offer it should be the same standard as the bathrooms featured in the listing.||- the terrace area outside on level 1 had old furniture and fake bunches of flowers||- cluttered and disorganised entrance to breakfast area that was clearly used as a storage area||- breakfast area tables were covered with ripped, paper sheets||- dirty linen of some sort on one of the food serving tables||- someone's clothes were hanging on 3 of the chairs of one table||- 2 inspections of the kitchen were carried out; one in the evening of the night we stayed, and again, just before we checked out later the following day. In both instances the kitchen was filthy; dirty cutlery, food boards and prep area.||- The very worst of the breakfast/kitchen area was meat products that had been left to defrost in the sun that was streaming into the kitchen in the afternoon. My son observed bacon and sausages that had already defrosted on day one, and I observed the next day a package of mince that had also been left on the bench and had defrosted, some other food item on a plate under a piece of aluminium foil, and bread left out. Clearly a massive food safety issue. My son and I refused to eat breakfast the following morning.||||Regarding the issue with the bed linen; after we returned later in the evening on day one there was a young man in the reception area. I brought down the pillow that had the most stains and showed him. I asked for new pillows as I refused to sleep on such. He searched but could not find new pillows to replace. He commented that he could put on extra pillow cases and I told him that wasn't good enough as we could not sleep on filthy pillows no matter how many pillow cases were on them!||Later that evening my son and I went to a local restaurant where I searched for another hotel for us to stay in. It wasn't easy at such short notice to find a twin room but we found one. ||Later that evening we returned to this establishment knowing that it would be extremely difficult to get any sleep knowing we were in such a horrible, dirty place. Both of us covered the bed with what towels there were and slept in our clothes. ||I had thought of pulling the sheets off to inspect the mattresses but knew that if I did that and found them likely to be in the same condition as the pillows; I would have vomited. My autism spectrum son was already distressed enough as it was!||||Just don't stay here! ||They have thus far refunded 1 night's stay. I'm fighting to get back...

I found the hotel staff to be wonderfully friendly. The breakfast was very good (fried and scrambled eggs, baked beans, tomatoes, thick sausage, English bacon, cereal, juices, coffee and tea, toast) and helped start my long days of site-seeing.

The location was very handy: a short walk to a tube station, convenience store, and several restaurants. Its proximity to Hyde Park was a personal delight.

Here's where it's important to know that I'm an American, and this is my first hotel experience in the UK. For further context, I'm 5 foot 9, and just under overweight: My room was small as was the bathroom. There was just enough space to walk around the beds. The bathroom is pretty tightly spaced. The shower is just large enough to fit me. None of this bothered me very much, mind you, but it might be with mentioning.

The mattress, comforter, and pillows were all very comfortable to me. I loved the ample thickness of the comforter. My American experience (mostly chain hotels) is almost always stiff mattresses, pillows that don't hold up your head, and thin blankets. This hotel has the opposite. There were two single-person beds in my room.

Another detail that needs to be prefaced by the fact that I'm used to American hotels: No air conditioning. There is a fan (that optionally rotates) and a space heater for winter. My stay was in late September, and nights were 65 degrees Fahrenheit outside. I'm not someone who needs a room to be cold, but my first night was rather warm. (Granted, I was on the second-to-top floor, but the hotel owner said over breakfast that he also felt the warmth.) I slept with the window open, the fan on low, and the comforter partially covering me. After the first night, I was able to intuit just the right balance between those three elements, and I slept fine.

No elevator, so you'll need to carry your bags up the fighter of stairs. Plenty of electrical outlets.

All in all, I enjoyed my stay, and I'd...

Starting with the positive points. Check-in was simple. I understand the ownership has changed since I originally booked. The location is very good. Easy access to all the surrounding areas. Bus connections are very good. We stayed in room 16. I selected it after intense viewing to ensure we had what we wanted, as some rooms were small and had shared facilities. It was large and spacious. The room was clean with sparkling white sheets, and towels. It was also very quiet, even though there was a shared bathroom outside our door for the other rooms on our floor. The breakfast was good, nice selection for the brits, but I did notice several travellers asked about continental breakfast. Not available. |Now the negatives. |Shower door was broken. They tried to fix it the second day, but to no avail. I tried to repair but again not able to. The shower leaked over the floor, and took quite a time to clear, I hope it wasn’t leaking into the room below. |The biggest issue was that there was no lift, and to get to our room on the 4th floor was to take 76 stairs to heaven, and boy they were so steep that you needed an oxogen bottle. Add to this each day the additional 14 steps down to the basement for breakfast and it was very very tiring. |Overall, had we not been 70+ yrs of age it would have been different, but there is no way I could take the chance on getting a lower level room, especially as one resident had a mobility scooter so that’s the lower...