Bastard Café — Restaurant in Copenhagen Municipality

I wish I could give Bastard Café all five stars because I love the idea of board game cafés. But based on my latest visit, there is still a long way to go… Here are some of the things that went wrong:

1. I made a booking about three weeks in advance. As part of the booking, I asked if we could be seated in one of the soft seating areas. That didn’t happen. After a long wait at the bar, we were guided into an adjacent basement, where we were seated next to a rolling cart filled with other guests' dirty dishes and food scraps.

2. Then I asked for Matador (Monopoly). Our server told us that we had to search for the game on their website and then find it on the shelf where it was registered. I searched in vain on the website and then decided to look for the game myself on the shelves. The system was a mess, making it nearly impossible to find anything. After 15 minutes of wandering fruitlessly among the many shelves (both in the basement and in the "real" café), I gave up and asked the staff for help. I was pointed towards a shelf where the most common games were kept. But Matador wasn’t there. Time was passing, so to avoid wasting more of it, I grabbed Bezzerwizzer and returned to my group. The game was incomplete – missing pieces, questions from different editions, and worn-out bricks where the icons were barely visible.

3. Back at our table, we were at least happy that we had received three drink vouchers when booking our table. The booking cost 270 DKK, so that meant we could get drinks worth 90 DKK each. Unfortunately, the basement only served filter coffee. If we wanted espresso or anything "fancy," we would have to go upstairs ourselves. Fine, fair enough. We ordered three filter coffees. Our server told us it would take about ten minutes because there was an issue with the machine. She said she would call out when the coffee was ready. A little later, I picked up our coffee – the most disappointing coffee I’ve had in ages.

4. So there we were, sitting next to a smelly cart of leftover food, in an overly warm room, on hard wooden chairs, trying to enjoy a worn-out game of Bezzerwizzer with bad coffee in our glasses (I would have preferred a cup, but that was honestly a minor issue in the grand scheme of things). We ended up leaving after an hour, even though we had planned for a much longer visit.

All in all, a very disappointing experience, where neither the circumstances nor the staff did much to make us feel welcome.

• UPDATE * After reading my review, Bastard Café has refunded my booking of 270 DKK. This is a much better way of handling the situation than I had expected. Therefore, I would be happy to visit them again next time...

The little cafe has the WORST service and the most disgusting coffee. I've been there many, many times and it's just as bad every single time.

Here's just the last time I was there.

We spent ages queueing, I asked for two filter coffees one with milk, one without.

We waited while she messed around cleaning up, sometimes just watching the other woman clean. 10 minutes of standing there waiting later, we get two filter coffees which I take to the table. I go back, I have to queue again, to say, could I get the milk for one of them.

She dismisses me by saying, they don't come with milk. I say, but I ordered and paid for two coffees, one with milk.

She keeps repeating that coffees don't come with milk.

I say, so why did you let me order and pay for it, then give me something different. I don't drink black coffee and I didn't order black coffee, so could I just get some milk for it please.

She says: no. It doesn't come with milk that's why she didn't give me any.

At this point the people in the queue are laughing at how ridiculous and bizarre this interaction is, because the server is refusing to give me milk for my coffee. She's just repeating that coffee does not come with milk.

I say: ok well then can I please have some milk anyway?

She gives it to me but only if I pay again for a cup of milk.

I give up and pay for a separate cup of milk because at this point I've been trying to get a coffee for over 20 minutes and I just need this to be over.

I go back to the table with my hard won milk, the coffee is cold at this point. My friend who took the black coffee has barely touched it. She says she can't drink it because it's disgusting. I try mine, and she's right. It's the worst coffee I've ever had. It's stale and bitter. It must've been hours old. I can't be bothered to stand in the queue, wasting another 20+ minutes (of the 1.5 hours we've booked to be there) trying to get a refund from the very weird woman behind the counter.

This is just the last time I was there (and the last time I ever buy anything from there). Every single time we go, we have several 'wtaf, really!?' moments.

Note: this does not apply to the large bar area, that is quite different and well run.

It's only the small cafe area that is bizarrely...

Nice particular place that makes you understand the culture of the local people who love board games but we had a lot of problems with the food service. There were six of us. We all order toasties, me with falafel and my partner with mushrooms. After 10 minutes we were told that the falafel were finished so I chose chicken. After 15' all the toasts arrived except mine and my boyfriend's. Our friends started eating and when they were finishing we went to ask for explanations. They admitted to us they forgot and they would prepare it. In the end after another wait they arrived but the meal were wrong. Instead of one mushroom and one chicken, both chicken... We didn't say anything because we understand that the place based on gaming entertainment doesn't focus on the quality of the service but considering that there are only 3 types of toast on the menu it really seems like a very serious disorganization to me. Also calculating that there were 3 waiters and there was little work as they sat and chatted. So my experience is negative, it's a good place just to play and not to...