Alberto's Punta Langosta — Restaurant in San Miguel de Cozumel

Do Not Eat Here!!!

This restaurant came highly recommended by a tour guide, but it turned out to be a complete disappointment. The only redeeming quality is its location near the port—everything else was a disaster.

We ordered lemonades, only to watch the bartender struggle to figure out how to make them. The result? Watery, overly sweet drinks that tasted like sugared water. Then we ordered fish ceviche and shrimp aguachile. The server told us the aguachile would take longer because the shrimp needed to “cook.” Initially, I thought this meant marinating in lime juice and aguachile sauce. However, when the fish ceviche arrived, I canceled the aguachile immediately, fearing for our health.

The fish ceviche was an insult to the dish. It’s supposed to be cold and marinated in lime. Instead, it was raw, served at room temperature, and missing lime altogether. It tasted awful—I had to spit it out. It looked as though someone chopped up fish that had been sitting on the counter, tossed it with pico de gallo, and served it. When we complained, the staff tried to convince us that this was “how ceviche is made in Mexico.” My Mexican husband quickly corrected them, as this was blatantly wrong.

Back on the ship, we learned my sister and her husband also ate there and had a similarly bad experience. She said the fajitas were awful, and her husband refused to eat the seafood soup because it looked and tasted unsafe.

To top it off, the restaurant was nearly empty despite four cruise ships being docked nearby—a glaring red flag we should’ve heeded. Just as other reviewers have mentioned, we also waited an absurd amount of time for the check.

Save yourself the trouble and potential illness. Avoid this restaurant...

We had the misfortune of choosing Alberto’s Restaurant in the Cozumel cruise port for lunch today. On previous trips to Cozumel we docked at the other port and this was unfortunately a very different experience overall. Regarding our visit to Alberto’s, we were able to sit down promptly at about 12:45pm. Someone took our drink order and a bit later someone else took our food order. We tried to order guacamole but they were out (?!) so we asked for queso and salsa instead. Big mistake. The queso tasted like melted American cheese and the salsa was basically watery tomato juice with vague bits of tomato. The chips were nice and crispy and sadly were the highlight of the meal. A solid forty minutes later, after we asked about our food, it was brought to the table. My shrimp chimichanga was greasy and tepid and the shrimp tasted “off”—I think it had been sitting awhile. I took a few bites and decided not to risk continuing to eat. We asked for the bill. Nothing happened. Finally after another 10-15 minutes I went directly to the cashier to ask if we could pay. The waiter saw me there and finally brought the bill, which he itemized. It came to $80. I have no idea if what we were charged is the same as what was listed on the menu—it was too long ago and I forgot what the prices were. After I handed him $80 in cash he had the gall to ask if I wanted to leave a tip. Here’s a tip: go somewhere—anywhere—else. We’ll be back to Cozumel but we won’t be back to Alberto’s.

UPDATE/RESPONSE: the waiter did not give me a copy of my ticket and I paid in cash. I have no way of identifying the waiter, though I can say we were sitting just to the left of the bar, right by where the breakdancers were.

UPDATE 2: food...

Our waiter said I would be in a FOOD COMA, little did I know…….. he meant it LITERALLY!

First of all, this bean stalk of a waiter greets me by saying “hola”. A simple “hello” would’ve done numbers. LIKE WHAT IN TARNATION??

So then we get seated after that disastrous greeting. And do my eyes deceive me? NO. It’s not there. Yup you guessed it - NO WARM ROLLS (or soft creamy butter).

After I ate the chips and salsa, I began to feel dizzy. I couldn’t speak, and my fingers became swollen like sausages.

That’s when it happened. I had a vision. Alberto was eagerly and yearningly crossing the suspiciously empty restaurant. He was wearing a robe and nothing more.

When he approached me, he put his finger against my lips to shush me as delicately as a warm roll. Once I was shushed, I was transported, and I awoke a week later in a Mexican hospital. My family surrounding me with tears of joy flowing from their ojos. I was alive. Aye dios mio. Estoy aqui. Y ahora solamente puedo hablar en espanol. Soy Mexicana. Ahorra me gusta margaritas y tacos. No quiero pan con matequilla. Solamente quiero fiesta....