Talindo Steak House — Restaurant in Lagos State

Quite surprised very few people have visited/heard of this place. This may be 'accidentally deliberate' on the part of the steakhouse, since they don't have visual branding outside the building, making it easy to miss (at best) and for people on that route not to even know it exists (at worst).

To describe the Talindo steak house, I'll set the scene.

Your car caroms off the mainroad as you make a quick stop, smoothly step out of it, adjust your suit (a tux, really) and walk briskly to the first black gate you see.

The security guards give you the once over, ask 'here for the steak?', a question you answer with a simple 'indeed.'

You're ushered in and find the split sitting area - the first half is open-view, and the second is covered by a half-wall. Being a dealer in the secretive and the obscure, you opt for the second half. You are the only person in the room.

The waiter walks up to you and politely asks you what you want. You ask, instead: "what's the chef's favorite?"

They give you a name. You take it without questioning. Then you go to the restroom to wash the gunpowder off your fingertips, slick back your hair and smoothen your eyebrows.

When you return, your mojito is on the table. You take a sip. It is better than what you expect from these restaurants.

Your food arrives. The waiter holds it in one hand, and it's on fire. You're fascinated, naturally. He gives it a practised little twirl, and the fire leaps, before dying down.

When he sets your steak on your table, the fire is out, but the meat is still in the sauce - which is still bubbling and sizzling.

You smile, and make a generous cut into the slab of beef.

You drink to your good health, and the anticipation of...

Truly Unfortunate All Around. I thought the many positive reviews here would hold up. They didn't. Arriving around 6 pm on a Friday, we ordered a bottle of wine, coconut shrimp, bacon wrapped chicken, 350 g sirloin medium with baked potato and side of french fries. Very clearly stated to all come at the same time. Problem started with the wine. Didn't have the desired bottle so I asked what do they have in stock? Instead I got the attempted up-sell to the more expensive bottles and no reply to what they have in stock. So a bottle of the house red then. Shrimp & chicken come. I ask about the steak -- it's coming, is the reply. 30 minutes later, after several inquires, it does arrive. Half of the steak is edible. The other half tough as leather. You can see the hard streaks of fat & sinew in the photos. Instead of a nice baked potato, there were three small excuses for a baked potato. Service was fine -- but who was in charge? The waiter took the order. A maitre d' who seemed to think that we didn't want everything brought all together? They clearly served us as they wanted to and not how we requested. Prices are Lagos high/normal. Atmosphere is pleasant, clean. Perhaps my experience was a one-off but it certainly was not the nice evening I...

I’ll rate the a 5/5 actually. Firstly it’s the fact that it’s so private, you could basically miss it if you don’t have the address. The plaque which has the name outside is so small you could almost miss it. The outside is really basic , you wouldn’t even know there’s anything there but on entering , you’ll be amazed. I really liked the fact that it was small, limited spaces so you have to book prior. I liked the fact that you could reserve via the website and it actually counts. I mean you even get an initial email and then a confirmation email after a call. Reminds me of an ideal 5-star service.

The manager as well comes around to ask for reviews and to check up, I really found that thoughtful, however simple but really goes a long way. My cocktail didn’t have enough alcohol in it (I’m guessing cuz I’m a lady), I requested for more alcohol and I was given without some flimsy excuse. The meal although averagely high was quite filling.

Oh you also get complimentary bread which if you request for extra cost 100 bucks 😅😃😃.

Liked the privacy really. Was top notch.

Spent a total of 33k I think. Oh yeah, good lighting as well for...