McDonald's — Restaurant in Lisbon

Of Most Grievous Disappointment at Yon Golden Arches

Being a true and faithful account of mine travails at the establishment known as McDonald’s, wherein service most foul did render mine humble repast a torment most vile*

Gentle readers, though mine expectations be as modest as a sparrow’s song when venturing unto those hallowed halls of the Golden Arches, yet am I moved to set quill to parchment regarding such calamities as would make the very stones weep with pity.

Of Churlish Service and Most Confounding Policies

The servants of this house did greet me with countenances most sour, as though mine very presence were an affront to their noble station. Their manner was cold as winter’s breath, and void of that hospitality which doth distinguish the civilized from the barbarous.

But hark! What contradiction most foul did they present! Though the establishment stood open for dining within its walls, yet would they serve only those who would bear their victuals hence—a policy most puzzling, that left many a patron wandering in confusion, like lost souls upon the heath.

Of Implements Most Wanting and Dignity Forsaken

But soft! What torment greater still awaited mine poor person! For lo, they did present unto me a salad most verdant, yet bereft of any implement by which a gentleman might consume such fare with dignity intact. Forsooth, I was reduced to the base manner of beasts, consuming my greens with naught but mine own hands—a spectacle that would have made Caesar himself blush with shame!

And what of the soup, that liquid sustenance of mortal man? ’Twas served without so much as a spoon, compelling me to sup through the very reed intended for mine beverage—a mockery most cruel of civilized dining!

Of Privies Most Foul and Secrets Dark

The privy, that most necessary of chambers, did resemble naught so much as some fortress of war, hewn from stone and bereft of comfort. Yet worse still—entry to this sanctum required knowledge of mystical words, a secret code that neither placard nor servant would divulge! What sorcery is this, that a man must solve riddles merely to answer nature’s call?

Mine Final Judgement

The House of McDonald, that did once stand as beacon of swift service and victuals fair, hath in this place fallen from grace most terrible. Where once stood promise of convenience wed to courtesy, now dwells disappointment most profound.

Let this account serve as warning to fellow travelers: approach yon establishment with expectations lower than a serpent’s belly, lest ye too suffer such indignities as would make Fortune herself weep.

Thus do I close this woeful tale, praying that mine words might stir some reformation in that house of...

Typically, I don't review fast food spots unless there is something unique/cool about it. There was nothing unique about this McDonald's except that it's located near Marques de Pombal and it is probably the most chaotic McDonald's I have ever been to in my life. We stopped by on a Sunday at almost 9 pm and the place was still PACKED. I don't know if it's always like this or if it was because of the foot traffic from the nearby Christmas Market (Wonderland Lisboa), but it was truly insane. Ordering is fine - pretty standard. You order at one of the self service kiosks. But it's the waiting for your order part. We waited 30 minutes for our food. 30 MINUTES FOR "FAST FOOD". It's not efficient because the food just sits on the counter until an employee notices it, so by the time we got our food it was cold. If you want to eat there, don't even think about finding a table. Thankfully, we got ours to go and our hotel was nearby. Again, I don't know if it's specific to this location but try to avoid this McDonald's if you...

A stellar McDonald's restaurant in a top spot in the core of Lisbon's business center.

Visited this McDonald's restaurant right next to the Marquês de Pombal roundabout/statue.

It's gotta be one of the most modern, decorated and well put together McDonald's restaurants in Lisbon.

The atmosphere is very chill and relaxing, and most costumers there were young which helps create a jovial and cool vibe around the place.

The food is what you would expect from a McDonald's restaurant.

The food came well cooked, tender and tasty (the nuggets were delicious), and everything was very 'presentable'.

Benefited from the fact that i went to grab a late lunch after a job interview (around 4 pm) and there weren't many people there, which got me the food on the table in around 5 minutes post ordering it.

In conclusion, if you are in Lisbon and are craving McDonald's, definitely take this one in...