Are we talking about the worst meal we’ve ever suffered in Tenerife? Possibly yes, It certainly vies with an experience many years ago which we had in a Chinese restaurant in La Laguna where we were served by a leather jacketed waiter, who smelt appalling, who coughed all over us, who spat on the floor and that’s all before we try and describe the food. Ah, yes. The food. That is certainly what this little diatribe is all about. We should have known really, I’ve always sworn that I would never go into a restaurant where someone at the door is trying to entice you in, but we were tired and hungry and fell for it. They’re really a Bodega and the wine was OK so perhaps the first conclusion to draw out of this is that, possibly, they should stick to wine and forget the food bit. Ah, yes. The food. The 1st course was a little (and I really mean “little", it was hard to locate it on the plate) dull, but we could give it a star and hope for better things. I mean, it’s difficult, is it not, to muck up a bit of serrano ham on a bed of tomato-soaked bread, Pa amb tomàquet, as the Catalans say. So on to the coup de grâce. It was not on the menu bur recommended by the waiter. Gratin de Berenjenas. Sounded good, we fell. It finally arrived and I won’t try to describe it. The egg-plant slices were verging on the completely uncooked (well not all of them, but we all know that Microwave cookery can be uneven …) and the sauce. The sauce… We asked the waiter (trying to appear interested about it rather than annoyed) what was in the sauce. He called the “Cook” out from the kitchen to explain to us but she dithered and dithered.. ah, how she squirmed and dithered, but what can you expect? I mean, how was the poor young woman expected to know the contents and ingredients of Glop Can nº 67? I rarely use the word disgusting, but I will this time, it was disgusting, and no, we won’t be going back.
¿Estamos hablando de la peor comida que hemos sufrido en Tenerife? Posiblemente sí, ciertamente compite con una experiencia que tuvimos hace muchos años en un restaurante chino de La Laguna donde nos atendió un camarero con chaqueta de cuero, que olía fatal, que tosía por todos lados, que escupía en el suelo y todo eso antes de intentar de describir la comida. Ah, sí. La comida. Ciertamente, de eso se trata esta pequeña diatriba. Realmente deberíamos haberlo sabido, siempre he jurado que nunca entraría en un restaurante donde alguien en la puerta intenta atraerte, pero estábamos cansados y hambrientos y caímos.
Realmente, es una bodega, y el vino era bueno, así que, quizás, la primera conclusión a sacar de todo esto es que, posiblemente, deberían quedarse con el vino y olvidarse de la comida.
Ah, sí. La comida. El primer plato fue un poco (y cuando digo “poco” sabe que fue difícil ubicarlo en el plato) aburrido, pero podríamos darle una estrella y esperar cosas mejores. Vamos, es difícil arruinar un poco de jamón serrano sobre una cama de pan empapado en tomate, Pa amb tomàquet como dicen los catalanes.
Pasemos al golpe de gracia. No estaba en el menú, pero recomendado por el camarero. Gratinado de Berenjenas. Sonaba bien, caímos.
Finalmente llegó y no intentaré describirlo. Las rodajas de berenjena estaban a punto de estar completamente crudas (bueno no todas, pero todos sabemos que la cocción en microondas puede ser desigual…) y la salsa. La salsa…
Le preguntamos al camarero (tratando de parecer interesado más que molesto) qué había en la salsa. El llamó a la "cocinera" quien salió de la cocina para explicarnos, pero ella titubeó y titubeó ... ah, cómo se retorcía y titubeaba, pero ¿qué puedes esperar? Quiero decir, ¿cómo se esperaba que la pobre joven conociera los contenidos e ingredientes de una lata intitulada ”Sustancia pegajosa y amorfa nº 67”?
Raras veces utilizo la palabra repugnante, pero esta vez lo haré, fue repugnante y no, no...
Read moreSummary: bad food, bad service - I assure you we have had much better experiences for half the price in this area and therefore strongly urge you against frequenting this place. Reasons listed below:
(1) the way the waiter treated us was completely unacceptable. If there was any other restaurant within a walking distance of this one my partner and I would have left. However, it is Christmas Day so this was the only open one. Upon walking in, I told the waiter that we had a reservation for later that night and we wanted to have a drink first. This was at 7pm, and our reservation was at 8pm. The waiter says something in a rude voice in Spanish (he spoke no English though I made my best effort to communicate in Spanish saying “reservation Por [name], possible to beber?”). The waiter then gestured with his hands as if to say “cool it”. He left and came back and spoke to us very quickly in Spanish. We said we didn’t understand and asked if he or anyone else spoke English and he said “no”, turned around and walked away. Comes back, puts as at a table and again, gestures the cool it motion and mumbles something in a very rude way. Then comes back with a diary and points to my name in their booking diary saying 8pm and making a fuss at us. I said yes I understand, but I am asking to have a drink BEFORE dinner. The waiter storms away, and an English speaking one FINALLY comes over who explains that we are too early to eat so they cannot serve us until they’ve served everyone before us. I said AGAIN yes that is fine as I said we came early to have a drink, dinner at 8pm is fine. This waiter told us it’s ok, but quite frankly we did not feel welcome at all. The other less friendly waiter took our order, except after we ordered 3 dishes turned around and walked away. We wanted to order more but ok, guess it’s the restaurants loss. Paying took a long time also. Quite frankly, I’ve never had a waiter be as rude to me as this ever before. Regardless of a language barrier, his actions towards me were super rude and agressive. I’m sure tonight was busy for the restaurant, but I’m paying for my meal and deserve to be treated with respect.
(2) the quality of the food was abysmal. If you look through the 1 star reviews, you’ll find them very accurate. Sauce tasted like it was store bought, calamari were inedible. Pork was over cooked. We didn’t say anything about it there because of all of the above, and didn’t want to create more stress for ourselves than the waiter had kindly created already.
Cherry on top - the owner seems to have a real passion for coming up with excuses to every bad review. My boyfriend wrote one earlier tonight, to which the owner already replied asking us to provide a receipt to prove we ate here?? Dear owner of this establishment - I’m happy to provide my receipt for €56. It is the worst money I’ve spent on my holiday so far. Your staff, specifically the bald waiter with glasses, should check his attitude and remember to treat his clients with respect, regardless of the language they speak. And maybe you should take the bad reviews seriously and hire a chef who can cook a meal worth the prices you...
Read morea year ago Started off with good expectations of this place. First dish was recommended by the waiter and it was awful. It was although you had gone to the fridge and thrown together whatever you want to be a good idea to throw together. It was a couple of old tomatoes and a slice of cold pork. Rubbish. We have had better in the local guachinches. Another dish was nice but you can tell that it is made with a supermarket sauce and woked up. We let the waiter know that we were not happy but no discount offered. In the end expensive and nothing special. The second dish was 20 euros. For that price I would expect at least fresh. Would not recommend.
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Share Response from the owner 3 hours ago Hola Juan Pedro, disculpe el retraso en la Contestación, hemos recibido los mensajes tarde.
En cuanto a su experiencia, decirle que nuestros productos SIEMPRE son frescos, es más, del día. Las salsas, gusten o no, también son del día.
A eso que Ud, llama basura, es el resultado de muchas horas de trabajo de profesionales que igual no cocinas como a Ud, le hubiera gustado.
Por descontado sabemos que en los guachinches se come bien, son parte de nuestra cultura, si nos comprar con ellos no tenemos ningún problema.
Espero que tenga más suerte en otro local, pero solo le recomiendo que si hace todo esto para que le descuenten dinero en sus consumisiones mejor hágalo en otro tipo de locales o hágase Ud., la comida
Un sincero saludo
Thank you for your reply to my review a year later ! Unfortunately your reply does not really correspond to the comments made about our visit to your local. Your rather defensive attitude is not very helpful and would be put to better use if you used the comments constructivly and tried to better your customer service and food quality. We went to your local to try it out for a change. There are several places to visit to eat and we certainly did not call in expecting a discount as you mention but it would have been nice to have had good customer service by your staff and better quality food. As in other comments on here we did not feel welcome and were also kept waiting a long time. We do not need luck in finding a better place to eat as we know where to find a good welcome with good food thank you. My wife is a brilliant cook so we could make our own food as you suggest but sometimes its nice to go out and be looked after, its what we pay for and expect. Good luck with the business hopefully you will use the comments constructively. Please dont make the effort to reply this time as we are not interseted in...
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