The Pretentious Poop As a general rule, pooping anywhere from 3 times a day to 3 times a week is normal. Now, isn’t that interesting? Well, at my recent visit at the Beach House Grill, I rammed head first into quite the dilemma and unfortunately not into a door encasing a stool pool. After finishing my rather scrumptious swordfish with a side of smashed red potatoes (not to mention the admirably sour lemonade), my intestines started to rumble like the engine of Hellcat with a missing muffler. I figured I would politely excuse myself from the table which consisted of those very close to me. So, that’s exactly what I did. I set off on a journey, which was disappointingly and unexpectedly long. No, it pains me to say that it wasn’t because I had many kids to drop off at the pool. Rather the exact opposite. I open the door to a beautiful looking bathroom with two serendipitous stalls. I headed to the door which oddly resembled a closet instead of a classic bathroom stall. I lightly jiggled the knob on the door to no avail. I then tugged on the knob more violently caused by a flurry of poop nerves. Still, to no avail. My comrades ran into the same problem so we decided to make an inquiry to our swaggalicious waiter. He said we could sneak into a celebration next door to use their bathroom. I do not want this review to be lengthy whatsoever, so in short, this journey too, was to no avail. So here I sit in the back seat of my car holding in my brown chunky soup filled intestines just imagining what kind of ventilation my at-home bathroom will require. I will not be returning to this restaurant any time soon and I DO NOT recommend it for those who also are digestively challenged.