IHOP — Restaurant in Cincinnati

Sometimes I wonder how in the world Gandhi was able to go twenty-one days without food, but after visiting this IHOP, I think I might have to give it a try. The restaurant was completely empty aside from our party of two-- did not stop the establishment's dedication to a fifteen-minute wait to get seated, a red flag we probably should have acknowledged, in hindsight. After another pair of epic twenty-minute waits between taking drink and food orders at the lone occupied table, the server seemed to be confused by objects we pointed out on the menu, which was strange, but having served before myself, I generally overlook these details so long as the experience is still pleasant.

Tension builds as my fellow breakfast enthusiast and I wait for our food. Will it ever come? Will our drinks be refilled in this thirty-minute stretch? What could they possibly be doing back there?! Have faith, surely they are hard at work preparing a delightful meal!!

...were the child-like fantasies of two hungry fools. Dear reader, life often doesn't go as you expect, and this was no exception.

French Toast, which I understand to have a bread-like texture, came out wildly undercooked with the interior consistency of brain matter. Poke it with your fork, and batter will drip out like the yolk of a sunny-side-up egg. Hash browns, which I understand to at least resemble shredded potatoes, instead were presented as one ominous black square, completely inedible. The scrambled eggs sat in a puddle of oil, a feat I would not even be able to accomplish at home, with my only credentials being a college student instant ramen chef. The chicken in the Chicken Fajita omelet was unpleasantly tough and overcooked, which was especially unfortunate as the cooks seemed to forget to put anything else in the omelet besides the chicken and cheese, where the menu promised peppers and onion.

That, however, was just the food we DID get. Many items were missing from our order. The server seemed appalled that we would ask for a discount, even after politely explaining, in nicer terms, that the food was a biohazard and much of it was missing completely.

So ends the epic tale of the IHOP on Marburg Ave, a story even Stephen King would shudder to write. Abandon all hope, ye...

Final Edit - Revised from 1 star to 4 stars:

I ended up calling again the next day because maybe the employee forgot to relay the message or the manager got busy. The manager was actually who picked up this time (probably better I had a day to cool off anyways) and was already asking how he could fix the issue before I got through the first order's issues last week, which weren't so bad, but still listened to everything I had to complain about, apologized and ensured I had the order correct today. When I came in, the staff had so much confidence that it was accurate I didn't check before I left, and when I got home everything was perfect. Thank you guys for listening, I know food service is brutal, especially big chains.

Original complaint that was addressed:

What's the difference between curbside and regular pickup? I know they can't control all the problems I had with online ordering but I called and let them know I was here like the sign says and they said "yup it's ready" I waited a couple min and no one came out so I went inside and everyone was standing around talking with no customers inside. It takes 30 seconds to bring food out .

This location was HORRENDOUSLY busy this last sunday (3/3). My friend and I had gotten there around 1125ish for brunch. We were told there was 20 min wait, no biggie. We sat and waited and waited and waited.. We saw people that arrived (with bigger parties) after us go and get seated first. Strike 1. When we finally went up after about 40 minutes of waiting, we were told it'd be another 20 mins to be SEATED. We thought there may have been a church rush or just some people lingering at tables. Looking over into the dining area, it was nearly empty. We were then told it was because of the wait from the kitchen. We could have easily still been sat and had our drinks put in- minimum, which would have been fine. By the time we were finally sat, we'd been there about 1.5 hours, but due to the area the closest places were like burger joints and such.. Not what we were wanting. By the time we were expecting to be called we would be waiting at another restaurant.. Again, the seating area was pretty empty. The waiting area was empty then as well (a lot of the people waiting were order ahead). Our waiter told us he'd be back and sorry for the wait, we didn't end up getting our order in for about 15 mins after being seated, but then our food was out about 15 mins later.. Personally, I feel like there should have been a halt on the door dash stuff or whatever and the people actually there to eat in the restaurant should have gotten priority. Especially those of us who waited a long as we did.

General waiter service was good, desk staff service was... Eh. The food was great though. But I will NEVER return to this location due to such a...