Ryan's Pizza & Pub — Restaurant in Cocoa

Ryan's Pizza 4 Harrison St. Suite 100 Cocoa, FL 32922

3.5 Stars

Ryan's Pizza in Cocoa exudes a warm, welcoming, fun vibe from the minute you enter. The joint is vibrant, clean and well-spaced. Jordan was my server today and she was charming, friendly and knowledgeable. I asked Jordan for 6 Bone-in Wings with their Golden BBQ sauce, an order of beer-battered Fish and Chips, a slice of White pizza and a slice of Deep Dish. Looking about the place, I noticed that on Tuesday, they offered 32 oz. Margarita's for a heckuva price! They have an excellent deal on tacos in today's economy, too. I didn't try their tacos, so I can't speak to them, but if they follow suit, they should be tasty.

It wasn't long before Jordan was seen returning with my grub. After snapping a few pics for y'all, I eagerly got to work as the aromas arising were heading straight to my appetite. First up on the Big Boy's punctilious palate were the wings. I don't know about you, but I love finger food. Fixing my fingers around a plump wing, I got to work. To quote Monty Python, “Blimey!” My taste buds were wrapped in the loving embrace of some of the most delicious sauce to ever grace my palate. Wow. My insides were swimming in love. The wings were juicy and cooked to perfection and, once again, adorned with my new favorite BBQ sauce.

I had to force myself to move on, but only after I snuck in another wing or four. Hacking off a bite of the Beer battered Haddock, I dipped it in some industrial tartar sauce and commenced tasting. The fish was of a higher frozen grade than most places and, as such, was better than average. The chips, as they were, were not your typical french fries but the oft sought-after “waffle fries.” These were fried to a succulent golden brown and were incredibly delicious. The coleslaw was your average food service slaw -- nothing to write about.

This brings me to the star of the show, at least the only food item in their name, the slices of pizza. If I am wrong that there is an afterlife and I end up down-under performing penance for my sins, I am absolutely sure I will be force-fed pizza for eternity. It would beshrew me down worse if it's terrible pizza. Ryan's pizza was not “bad,” but it was not that good either. The crust was bland, the sauce was as flavorful as the crust and the cheese was cheese. I found this shocking as the other items were fantastic and as I mentioned, pizza is in their name. This applies to both slices sampled.

The Big Boy says, “For a pizza place, their pie fell flat. Go for the wings, fish and...

Being generous with two stars just because it was better than the other horrible places I’ve been to since I came back to the area.

We went upstairs to enjoy the view. The place was crowded; tables dirty and we had to wait and wait and wait. And that was just, for someone to clean the table which was full of dishes from the people before us.

Then, another wait period for our waiter to arrive. He was so cool, even sat at the table with us!

We ordered the 18” pizza. Full pie with ground beef and half with onions. I ordered anchovies on the side. Someone else with garlic powder on the side (very weird) and Parmesan cheese on the side. And so it began our third wait time. By now, we had been there one hour.

Here are my thoughts. First, be ready for a card processing fee. Then be ready for the charges on the pizza. They charge you for the full pizza with the ground beef. Then another charge for half the pizza with onions. Then the side of Anchovies was a $2 charge and then, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw a description for what seemed to be a garlic powder charge and Parmesan cheese charge. Kid you not.

I had heard Ryan’s has the best pizza in town. I must’ve heard wrong. First, not hot. I’m not a fan of coagulated cheese on the pizza and that’s because, I’m from NY.

It was bad enough the pizza was on the room temperature side—not surprising in Florida—but, on top of that, the ground beef had not been seasoned. You could taste the ground beef had been boiled in its own juices, not sautéed at all. Nothing worse than the taste of boiled beef.

Actually, no. Worse than the taste of boiled beef is the taste of boiled beef with coagulated cheese, ugh.

I also had an Stella Artois beer. It was on draft, served on a plastic cup. It was on the flat side, and definitely not cold. I think it was sitting at the bar for way too long. Couldn’t even finish it.

Then, came the check. First charge was for CC processing fee. Not being familiar with such a description, I asked the waiter what it meant. So buyer beware. It seems, it’s a mode of operandi for establishments in the area. Funny thing, before it used to be called, cost of doing business and that brings me to the next point. I was surprised, they didn’t charge us for sitting at a...

I rarely post bad reviews because I believe restaurants will have bad days but when the experience is outrageously bad then I feel I must and this was the case last night. We had reservations for 11 guests to celebrate a milestone birthday. We got a confirmation call an hour before which was nice but they failed to mention their AC wasn’t working and that they’d be under staffed because they let go a few employees earlier that day. Everything was fine until they finally started delivering the food and just handed us the plates so we could find a place to put them because they hadn’t cleared our appetizer plates or empty glasses. So after 5 mins of sitting there with plates in our hands, pizzas dropped on trays with no one helping, the frustrated birthday guest cleared the table then when she asked where to set the dishes the manager scowled and “yelled” for someone to come grab the dishes! After all this we still didn’t see our server so the birthday guest continued playing server and plated the pizzas for everyone. Note - server last seen when order was placed. No one ever came to check on us, refill drinks, or bring us water…remember the AC wasn’t working (thermostat steadily read 80 the entire 2.5 hrs). Next time we saw our server was when she came and “dropped” the checks then to our surprise the checks included the customary 20% gratuity…we wouldn’t normally care since we were a big party and are accustomed to tipping 20% BUT we weren’t advised that it would be added, WE bussed our own table, WE plated our own food, were NEVER checked on and when we mention the 20% and terrible experience, the server apologized and said she was sick in the bathroom that entire time and that the manager added the 20% and she didn’t know. WE GOT NO SERVICE but they still didn’t take the 20% off or did ANYTHING besides say sorry and shrug!!! NOTHING was done!!! What an embarrassment to the birthday guest and out of town guests we...