Hood River Restaurant — Restaurant in Hood River

There's nothing sleek or modern about this traditional Cantonese-American mainstay. It's a time machine back to the chop suey joints of my childhood in the '60s and early '70s. The carpet is worn and dirty, especially further back. The restrooms are beyond cleaning or hope, and should simply be burned down at this point. Our server (who might also be the owner) started out surly but warmed up as she learned we were happy to go along to get along. We ordered chicken lo mein, broccoli beef, and BBQ pork fried rice. Heaping platters of inexpensive but respectable food came out. The rice had some broken, dry, tough grains and might have been made with yesterday's rice scraped from the bottom of the steamer, but was still all right and was generously studded with fat cubes of pork. The broccoli beef was meaty and good, with perfectly-cooked broccoli and carrots. But the lo mein triggered an ancient memory of the perfect chow mein I'd slurped down as a child at the looong-gone Teapot Cafe in Seattle (when it was still a chop suey hole in the wall, long before it was a vegan restaurant) on paydays when we could afford a meal out. Thin noodles, bean sprouts, onions, tender chicken breast slices, pan-fried in a light, flavorful, greaseless sauce, some of the noodles a little browned and even better for having that extra toasting and contact with the pan. It's nothing like the fancy $25 noodle dishes you'll find in Portland or Seattle; it's its own thing, like OG Star Trek vs. Picard. This all made excellent...

This is one of a handful of restaurants serving straight forward Chinese food in Hood River. I have never seen anyone wait for a table, and the menu offers a wide range of items including vegetarian options. The full bar, which is separated from the main restaurant, and you dont have any crossover bar traffic. The bar is also known as "Jack's", and the entrance is off the street about 40 feet from the restaurant's front door. The specialty drinks are offered in a large bowls and intended to be shared by 2 or more persons. The Scorpion Bowl is the signature drink item. (You'll want a designated driver if you have one.) The bar has a dance floor area which is out of sight on weekdays, but on weekend evenings, the partitions are drawn back, and the normally quiet, low-key atmosphere transforms to reveal its party-girl-twin-sister alter ego. Depending on your mood, you will either want to avoid weekend nights at Jack's, or head there...

Take a frozen chicken nugget... microwave it(so its soggy)... put a trace amount of a watered down, colorless flavoring... and that is what you get if you order General Tso Chicken from this place. The other dishes we had were along the same lines... barely edible cheap frozen food.

Service was also awful. Grouchy old lady was visibly annoyed by my presence, condescending when i asked question. Picking up order i asked for packet of hot mustard, told it didn't come with order and that was that.

The facility itself looks like an abandoned 1960s Chinese food restaurant that hasn't been painted or even dusted, or vacuumed since 1970.

Plenty of seating... no need for a reservation.

Dine in or take out, overall you're better off getting Chinese food...