Wood Ear — Restaurant in Telluride

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I don't think my vocabulary sufficient enough to express how cloaked in regret and disappointment you will leave this place, but I'll try.

The cocktail we had was good. We'd go back only for drinks. Otherwise, this place was so awful, it killed our will to explore the rest of Telluride. We take responsibility for not voicing our displeasure while at the restaurant, therefore providing no opportunity for them to correct. We didn't have faith in their ability to make things right.

We arrived soon after opening and were told a bit after ordering the rice dish we chose wasn't an option because the rice wasn't ready. We let them know we weren't in a hurry and our server came back shortly to say the rice was ready but needed 10 minutes to cool. I'm convinced they heated up leftover rice. I refuse to believe freshly made rice would be that dry, crunchy, a step below lukewarm, and totally lacking character.

I kid you not, the buttermilk chicken tasted exactly like the chicken tenders from my rural Georgia middle school cafeteria. While I enjoyed my middle school chicken tenders, I expected more for the price point.

We initially made excuses for the cold ramen. Thinking once we knew the rice might be a bit, we should have asked them to bring the ramen out first. But 1) at the charged prices they should be professional enough to coordinate the preparation of multiple meals for a table 2) the noodles were stuck together in places and not totally cooked, indicating the miso broth had, at no point, been hot. Though I doubt the heat would have made up for the total absence of flavor. Again - the worst ramen I've had to date.

If whoever the so-called chef was had recently upgraded from being a fast food fry cook, I wish them luck on our culinary journey. If they actually interviewed for this position claiming any expertise, they are guilty of fraud.

If I'd seen others entering the restaurant on my way out, I would have warned them to only have drinks.

You will leave your table of unfinished food, feeling empty, robbed, and without the ability to pleasurably think about or plan meals for at least the rest...

It’s a real shame that a place as breathtaking as Telluride is littered with restaurants that have no business serving food. Wood Ear, unfortunately, is one of those culinary disasters masquerading as a dining establishment.

Let’s start with the good—the hostess was accommodating enough to seat us without a reservation. But it was a Wednesday night, not exactly prime time, so that shouldn’t have been a Herculean effort. The place was surprisingly packed, though whether that’s due to actual demand or just a collective lapse in judgment, I can’t say. Either way, the service was a mess. We were assigned a bartender as our server (why? who knows), and he barely acknowledged us. No check-ins, no refills, just the occasional game of "Who ordered this?".

Now, onto the real tragedy—the food.

We started with the Wasabi Caesar, which should have been renamed "Where’s-the-Wasabi Caesar." It had all the excitement of a soggy salad bar reject. No heat, no punch, just a pile of leafy regret. I gave it a few hopeful bites before abandoning ship.

But hey, they call themselves a ramen restaurant, so surely the ramen would redeem the night, right? Wrong. I ordered the Pork on Pork ramen, and let me tell you, if I hadn’t read the menu, I wouldn’t have guessed what I was eating. The broth tasted like someone accidentally tipped a can of tomato soup into a vat of dishwater—zero depth, zero richness, not a trace of pork or chicken flavor. The soft egg was ice-cold, as if they had fished it straight out of the fridge and tossed it in as an afterthought. The pork belly—or what was left of it—was hacked into tiny pieces and had a weird barbecue sweetness that made me question everything I know about ramen. And the pickles? Way too sweet, as if someone had mistaken a bowl of vinegar for a jar of honey.

By the end of the meal, we weren’t savoring flavors—we were counting the seconds until we could escape. If you’re looking for authentic ramen, flavor, or even basic edible food, do yourself a favor and steer clear of this place. Your stomach...

Let me preface by saying we are a family who like to indulge and are perfectly okay with spending a decent amount on quality food and drink. That said, when you spend $600+ on a dinner, and half the table is disappointed with their entrees, and the server and manager don’t consider the feedback, it’s hard to not feel disrespected as a customer. The drinks were delicious, the appetizer was great, but we specifically came here for the ramen ($24-32/bowl) and asked the server for her recommendation - she shared that the High Country ramen was the crowd favorite so 3 out of 6 ordered that as the entree. To say it lacked flavor would be an understatement - the broth was bland and lacked basic flavor. At the end of our dining experience, we shared with our server, that for a $30 bowl of ramen, we were disappointed with the lack of flavor and just wanted to pass along some feedback to the kitchen. The server was clearly a little annoyed but considering about $90 worth of food was left largely untouched, we felt it was only fair they acknowledge our dissatisfaction. Not because we were looking for a free meal, but out of principal of being there to serve a local community.. We were charged a full bill, still tipped 20%, but when asked for the conversation with a manager he seemed unfazed about our feedback and “making things right”. Overall, the response to our experience was frustrating and while we come to Telluride every year, it was apparent we were just tourists stopping through to them.

Spend your money elsewhere - The National has equally as delicious drinks, better food, and...