Captain Hook Cancun — Attraction in Cancún

PLEASE READ BEFORE WASTING YOUR MONEY…

This is not a show & dinner! I’ve never wanted to jump off ship ( well there have been times in the past it’s looked tempting/fun ha ..let’s continue ) until coming on this boat!

I’m currently on the pathetic waste of time and money boat as we speak writing this review. It’s so boring and horribly put together that writing this review has been the best part of the night.

It’s not a show & dinner. This is at best a pathetic party boat where drunk parents used their kids as an excuse to come too. Speaking of kids they are not entertained at all. They look completely bored and some of the kids have moved to a sitting area at the back of the boat where you can’t even see the show.

Speaking of the adults/parents the only ones that seem to be entertained are those that are completely wasted/drunk from the unlimited drinks. If drinking is your thing you’re better off relaxing on the beach or by a pool and getting food delivered.

To sum up what this is, it’s basically a horrible musical/karaoke night. They blast music extremely loud in a very small area and dance worse than Barney & friends. Their acting is atrocious and you can tell instantly no effort in practicing/rehearsing has ever been made. They’re constantly coming up with cheesy things to do off the cuff because there’s no organization or planning for each scene.

COST & DISGUSTING FOOD . This whole Shebang cost $180 for two people. This includes prime steak dinner and two seats ( wait until I show you the seat you sit on and the piss poor piece of meat they call a steak ). There are other food options like chicken or surf and turf. Lobster is the turf option which cost more.. lobster sounded amazing but so glad I didn’t spend the extra money. The food is bland ( absolutely no seasoning, cold, and not well prepped. Their version of steak is basically taking a ribeye without seasoning it then trying to sear it.. that’s all.. nothing more… so disgusting. You watch a 2 min video on YouTube that’ll teach you how to make a better steak! The pasta tasted like they bought all of the chef boyardee off the shelves at the store and served it cold. The dessert at the end seemed appealing but all It was was a cold apple fritter of some sort.

Time of Show - 4 hours long.. and you’re stuck for all 4 hours. It went from 6pm-10pm. They didn’t leave the dock for over 30 mins after everyone had already been seated. The seats you sit in are so small and uncomfortable. Plastic stools with little to no padding.. that’s what you’re seating on for 4 hours. If you want to sit in the vip section bring cash. They don’t accept or take card once you’re on the boat. The vip section would cost $75 more and you get a bottle of alcohol of your choice and somewhat better seating. Complete ripoff.

Again all this was was a piss poor musical where they constantly forced and tried to get people to sing or clap. The skit was 5 mins long and terribly executed. Imagine you’re kids when they want to put on a talent show all of sudden for you at home… ok now that you have that image in your head it’s 100 times worse than that!

If you love terrible food and I mean terrible food ( especially for $180 ), horrible entertainment that wouldn’t even make it on your kids talent show at school, and loss of hearing for no good cause this is the spot for you.

I’ve done my best to warn you…

I truly wanted to write a positive review, but this experience was beyond horrible. Only great thing about this show was our server. Did a great job of bringing us drinks ( soda or water was our poison for the night ) and helping us to our table while...

Do yourself a favor and don’t WASTE your money; this is a classic scam. We left at 8:10 (the “show” started at 7), and the ship had no intention to sail. We received confusing information from different crew members when trying to leave this pathetic ship.

First things first, the show is horrible—it's primitive and consists of nothing but gibberish talk by the "Captain" and his team. The show is torture not only for your intelligence but also if you've seen any entertainment, and I mean ANY entertainment. You have to be really drunk to enjoy the show. The food is terrible; the "steak" is nothing but a burnt piece of meat.

After an hour of this torture, I asked one of the crew members if the ship would actually sail. The crew member said, "I don't know." I asked the second guy, and he said, "No." When I asked the reason, he said it's because of the rain. Really? Your excuse is a little rain? So we went to the exit, but it was impossible to leave because the ladder was taken. Unsure of what to do, we went back to our seats; the gibberish talks were still going on. It wasn't funny, entertaining, or educational—just garbage talk with occasional lights and noise from bad speakers.

Then I asked how we could leave, and after consulting with somebody else, a guy told us that the ship would sail now and we couldn't leave. Well, it didn't. Another couple managed to open the exit, and we used this chance to get out.

Throughout the "show," I did not see any advertised acrobats, fireworks, or boarding by another pirate ship. If they had any script, it must have been written by a wannabe comic; all the jokes were "hey Mike Tyson" or "you look so old, Di Caprio" when talking to the public.

Also, read the small print when you buy tickets online; you will be charged $20 per person for "tax," no matter the ticket price. I guess the management is not aware of how taxes work. Or maybe they meant a stupidity tax? What can I say—if you want to experience being robbed by pirates, this is the place to go. Don’t expect any enjoyment from this experience, though.

When you read many 5-star reviews, know that they ask you to leave it while you are on the ship. So, if you read this review and it helped you save time and money, help others by liking it.

UPDATE: The business owner’s reply is another evidence of their indifference to your experience. It’s the same reply they post to all negative reviews. They didn’t even ask when was the “tour” (you can’t call a “tour” standing 1.5 hours in harbor pretending that you are in the middle of the sea, and screaming that you are being attacked by another...

Pros: Our personal pirate was SO sweet and very attentive. We tipped him and another kind pirate well. The ship is really cool & characters all look the part. The dock also looked amazing. Jack Sparrow was very legit & a great actor.

Cons: I think this activity is much better suited for adults than children. The adults were almost all having a blast and the kids were super bored, which was a bummer because we chose this as a treat for them. We were on the ship for 3 hours 15 mins total and the pirate sword fight didn’t start until the 2 hr 45 m mark, well after my kids had lost attention and given up. Everything before that was adult games, drinking contests, pirates singing modern pop music, etc. Think of it as a night club mixed with variety show at sea, hosted by people dressed like pirates. They’re playing modern music, karaoke and leading games with the audience for 90% of the show. The hosts were tons of fun but despite its name, it primarily isn’t a pirate production for kids.

Language was also an issue for English speakers. The staff were fluent in English which was great, but the show dialogue was primarily in Spanish. My son cried because he couldn’t understand anything that was being said.

The music was insanely loud. Please bring ear protection if you bring young children on this.

Seating was also an issue. My little boys were seated behind two 6 foot tall men and couldn’t see anything. Then the staff offered to upgrade our seats for $75 which seemed sketchy.

We had to stay in port because of rough seas (they legitimately were very rough) which was also a buzz kill. They covered the ship in a tarp to keep rain out and I guess to make it less noticeable that the ship was sitting at a dock.

The food portions are extra extra large and more than any normal person would want to eat. The drink refills are nonstop.

The staff we interacted with were all wonderful and so was the sword fight, but the rest of the night our kids were confused and bored watching drunk adults dance. Might be great for adults who want to laugh & drink, but not entertaining for kids until the very end (if your kids can make it that late...