Canoe Lake — Attraction in Portsmouth

Right off the bat there’s a couple of problems here.

Its obviously not a lake, Donald Campbell never attempted to break the world water speed record here let me tell you. If he had he would’ve got up to about 10mph before running out of ‘lake’, careering over the road and into the Solent before eventually rocking up to Ryde pier for tea and kippers.

The second problem is that there aren’t any canoes, not one. So if you’re coming here for a day out canoeing on a lake you’re going to be bitterly disappointed. There are some swan pedal boats you can rent out so maybe they need to look at changing the name to Swan Pond or something like that.

There are some things in abundance here though. Pigeons for a start, there are hundreds of pigeons. They’re not nice pigeons either, they have a tendency to display passive/aggressive behaviour  and look at you in a very unnerving and yet deeply knowing way. There’s also plenty of swans. They always seem a bit grumpy, hissing at the dogs that should be on leads and also at the children going too close to them who should also be on leads. People should be more careful, they can break your arm you know, swans.

There are also purported to be crabs in the ‘lake’, although judging by the colour of the water, if you ever managed to catch one they’d probably have seven heads, fifteen legs, nine claws and telepathic powers.

If you visit at night there are some colourful light bulbs strung between the lampposts around the ‘lake’, some of which even work or at least flicker for a bit. I imagine it’s not providing the cornucopia of dancing colours that was originally intended but if you squint and tilt your head it looks almost adequate.

In summary, something for everyone. Highly...

We all love Canoe Lake, and it's not a Summer holiday until you've been crabbing! Go to a pound shop if you can first, buy a bucket and a crabbing line and some cheap bacon, put the bacon on the hook or in the net and you're set for the day 😁 Whether you catch any or not, it's good fun for children. There are toilets next to the lake which are cleaned daily, an ice cream van in the car park, which is a bit cheaper than the cafe, you can also buy your crabbing bits and bobs at the cafe, but they'll cost you! In the holidays the swan rides on the lake are £7 a go and can fit 5 I think, again, good fun, there is an inflatable Caterpillar and slide that the children can run around on, time limit of 5 minutes and a bit pricey, also bungey trampolines, again, a time limit and costly. This is a BBQ zone and there are bins provided. The park is brilliant, with a sandpit and you can go through to the splash park, open May to September for children up to the age of 9, there is also a zipline and picnic space. There are two cafes, a mini golf, rose gardens, model village, tennis courts, Japanese Garden, butterfly museum... You can have a free day here if you're thrifty...the model village, mini golf and tennis courts you...

I recently visited this amazing park on a hot bank holiday weekend and it quickly became one of our favourite parks. The atmosphere was fantastic, with families from all over the world enjoying their weekends together. The smell of barbeques filled the air as people gathered for picnics and fun.

The park had something for everyone. Kids were having a blast on the inflatable slide, while the playground area catered to 5 to 7-year-olds. There was even a thrilling zip wire for the adventurous ones. The park's proximity to free street parking and the beach just across the road made it incredibly convenient. We enjoyed exploring the nearby amusements and arcades, and there were plenty of food and drink options within walking distance.

Overall, if we lived nearby, we would definitely make this park a regular visit. It had a great atmosphere, diverse activities, and convenient amenities. It's a wonderful place to spend quality time with family and create...