No.31 Restaurant and Bar — Restaurant in Canterbury

Last night I had one of my most unpleasant dining experiences at this over- priced and poorly -served Hamner Springs eatery. I strongly advise anyone thinking of eating there to avoid it at all costs.

And costs is the first issue. This is a restaurant with eye watering pricing. A lamb shoulder and Yorkshire pud 'special' for two people was on the board at $90! That's top-end 'Auckland pricing' - yet here, in this small South Island village, that meat would probably be locally shot and cost nothing in transport. How can they justify that cost? It's simply price-gouging, and greed.

And that's just for starters.The raw salmon Special on the board came out (by the mistake of our most unpleasant and arrogant waitress-cum-owner, to whom I shall herein refer as "The Madam"), with a few meagre morsels - tiny fish squares arranged on a large white plate. A sure sign of a willingness to rampantly fleece the restaurant patrons - most of whom are probably too intimidated to question The Madam about her ridiculously over-priced offerings.

The man I was with had chosen an entree of salmon croquettes and pointed to the menu while saying " I'll have the salmon here please" . He also chose a wild venison main. I chose a vegetarian risotto.

I ordered one glass of Pinot Noir. After about fifteen minutes the wine came in an opened bottle that was clearly left from the day before. It was a very poor sample from a very good vineyard. Oxygenated and denuded. Disappointed, I let it go- in the interests of moving on.

Then we waited. And waited. No one came near to explain the well -over -60- minute wait.

Finally, there came the salmon entree. The wrong one, from the Specials Board! We asked it to be swapped. The Madam tried to put us- the customer- in the wrong because we had not "specified croquettes"! Surely it's up to the waitress to ensure she is clear on the order?

As if to confirm her arrogance, she then brought out the wrong main course too! She served....a main of salmon. We reminded her it was venison he'd ordered, and she simply picked up the plate and muttered over her rude, dismissive shoulder, " It won't take long" as she chugged off to the kitchen, leaving my miserably heavy and cheese-laden risotto to get cold while I waited for his correct order.

With no concern shown for us in any way, I suggested we leave.

At the counter I tried to explain to The Madam how deeply unpleasant our experience had been. She was still the same aggressive, sour soul. When I said I would be letting others know by doing a review , she waved it off with " Oh we don't care about reviews". She still insisted we pay for the shoddy wine and two small croquettes - coming out at over $40.

I suspect she doesn't care about reviews because she has no competition in Hamner Springs. It has only one actual restaurant- rather than pub or takeaway food - so I would encourage other restaurant owners to think of opening a branch there- in competition to this sorry place - with offerings of good ( not exorbitantly priced ) food, in a pleasant setting. With caring service, you will very quickly attract her customers.

One final, earlier, but also discordant note. She offered the man at my table " A free soft drink?" and then turned to me with a patronising wink - as if he was some child she could talk down to- and said " We''ll give him a free desert to make up "( for her many mistakes) . He drinks and eats neither of those, and it was a deeply disrespectful way to treat him. I note this, because it's part of an extremis of tawdry and unprofessional behaviour at a restaurant that -from its hefty pricing structure- is pretending to offer a top quality dining experience. It simply does not.

I strongly recommend that you go nowhere near this place. If needs be, stay in Ashburton on your way to Hamner Springs- and eat at the delectable Formosa Restaurant ( an absolute highlight of our trip ) and then drive on to the hot pools the next day.

In terms of food , No 31 is a poor 2 out of 5. And in terms of service and atmosphere,...

Funny how many people are saying this place is really great. That was not my experience at all. Went with a friend, got in around 7pm. Place was DED. Off season, but still.

Service: The service was actually pretty good. The young guy that we had was prompt, didn't linger and was very polite throughout the meal. It seemed like it was early in his serving career. I cannot fault him, that's why I put 5 stars for service. Cheers to you, you poor man. Go to a better restaurant and apply, you'll do great.

Food: My score is within the context of the food as it was priced. Considering that a normal plate was between 40-50 dollars, I expected that it would be fairly good-great. My friend had been years before and raved about it, the duck in particular. We got the warm bread, which was actually the best part of the meal, duck in plum sauce and the orange roughy, with "frites". The duck was dry and came out warm, but not hot at all. The sauce was decent, but again, not warm enough. The fish was not very fresh and dropped all it's water into the plate, which wasn't a huge problem, until you look at the "frites" which were chip shop fries that had been dropped in the fish juice soup at the bottom of my bowl. Soggy fries that were somehow worse than chip shop fare, despite being 10 dollars. The veges were also dry and cut large, but not well cooked, making them hard to portion. Solution to all this? Who knows. We were the only ones in there, still not sure how the food came out less than piping hot. Maybe we got the second string chef?

Atmosphere: It's a nice place.

Verdict: Just get actual fish and chips or cook in and skip until the cook starts to care, or new ownership comes in. Massive disappointment, cherry on top was the bill. Literally 122 dollars for food that I'd expect to see in a mess hall in the military.

EDIT: In response to the response...

I don't care if the place is slow or DED. That was only relevant in how quickly the food was delivered.

We never said we worked in hospitality and no one told us you didn't make subs for items. When I asked, it was accepted without issue.

You putting the fries into the water on the bottom of the plate was YOUR decision. Any chef with half a brain would have put them in a separate container.

Also, on the fries, YOUR OWN MENU INCLUDED "Frites". How dare you say you don't do fried food often. You literally offer them on your menu. What kind of BS is that? Did I not get what I ordered?

When asked during the meal, I never said the food was good or fine. Your server asked if I was ok, to which I said I was. I chose not to bring it up because I was on the last day of a trip to visit my terminally ill father, before I got back on a plane to leave NZ. Forgive me for not wanting to have an in person conversation about the food. Again, we never said we were in hospitality. We never said anything about our backgrounds. I only wrote the review because I was shocked at the quality of food for how much we were paying.

Here's a tip: When someone writes a review, instead of responding like you know something about it, print out the main points, go to your business and determine if any of them were true, then go practice in the kitchen. Your failings as a restaurant are solely in the kitchen, where the food is average at best and the quality of the main courses does not reflect a top-tier price. If I was just a little more cynical, I would say you were gouging tourists. Finally, I knocked off a star for service for not acknowledging any of my complaints in your response.

PS: I take it as a compliment that you saw this review as a verdict...

We ordered the duck breast, scallops, and beef carpaccio. The duck breast was quite tender, and pairing it with the cheesecake created a very layered and interesting flavor. The scallops were incredibly tender and delicious. The beef was average to decent—the flavor had depth, but you needed to eat everything together to get the full experience. I expected the carpaccio to be served cold, but it was just at room temperature (probably because New Zealanders aren’t used to chilled dishes).

For the mains, we had the lamb shoulder and duck leg. The lamb shoulder, especially with the skin, had a strong lamb flavor and was super tender—really tasty. Some parts were a bit dry, but considering how big the cut was, that’s probably unavoidable. Not sure if it’s even possible to make the entire piece tender, but the sauce helped cover the drier parts and added a nice change of flavor. The side was duck-fat fried potatoes, which had a rich aroma from the duck fat and were pretty good.

The duck leg was slightly dry as well, but still flavorful. The sauce was on the heavier side, which I personally liked, and the side dishes were quite varied.

For drinks, we had a piña colada, a pink grapefruit mojito, and Trinity Hill Merlot. The first one was a bit too sweet for me and could get a little cloying after a while, though it was still tasty. The second one, which was sweet and sour, was my favorite. The third one, the red wine, had a caramel note and was smooth and not too astringent—I thought it was pretty nice too.

For dessert, we had dark chocolate, tiramisu, and liquor coffee. The dark chocolate was okay—it had an orange scent, but it wasn’t really my type. The tiramisu was great, served cold and very tasty. For the liquor coffee, there were several liquor options to choose from, and the one with Drambuie was...