Noir Lagos — Restaurant in Lagos State

« Never have I ever thought a day would come & I wouldn’t be able to eat a plate of pasta. »

Lights, temperature, furniture, artwork & space? Aesthetically pleasing! Something about this place made me feel at home. - I’d say it’s the unending dreams of Paris or the anxiety a restaurant was ready to give me a glimpse of Paris.

It had 3 sections - normal dinning area, vip lounge & terrace.

Graced with pleasant staff upon entering, I walked to the seat I wanted. A staff - the manager I suppose, super friendly, politely walked up to me, asked if I wanted the vip lounge. What?! ‘Why I no go want ke? ’. Like I little girl off to Disneyland, excitement filled my face & off to the VIP lounge I went.

Being such an adventurous ‘pastarian’, I’d pick anything that suggested pasta, so with the NOIR TAGLIATELLE, the combination of ingredients awakened my taste buds. CRISPY CHICKEN WINGS POPS! - 4,600

Starters arrived & I got what I did not order for. I had ordered for the chicken prawn Thai meatballs, but I was given the crispy chicken wing pops. It looked really appealing, so I wasted no time, until I realized that was no prawn meatball.

The chicken wings ‘popsicle’ (crunchy, tender & well seasoned )came with a pineapple chili chutney sauce (like jam)which was sweet with a little chili. Children would definitely love this.

NOIR TAGLIATELLE - 9,000

On the menu, it said noir tagliatelle, nothing suggested It was the SQUID INK PASTA.

So when it came, I was taken “aback”, but hey! How often do I get to eat black pasta. So Yh, challenge on. So I’d describe the content of my plate because 🤷🏾‍♀️

First, squid ink is majorly used for color than taste, although, subtle but savory in taste. So Yh I’d say the color was very vibrant through the sauce it was cooked in. The tagliatelle was al denté with a lithe chew. It wasn’t briny - didn’t get any seafood vibes. Something in the sauce didn’t work for me. It was super creamy, prawns, had truffle oil, white wine & fennel. The presence of truffle oil in this dish rendered this plate uneatable for me. The end flavor of the oil was pungent, artificial & tasted like brake fluid 😩🤷🏾‍♀️ El Diablo

Again, they got it wrong with this. I ordered for EL DIablo, & I was brought the English lover cocktail. Then I complained, then they changed it to my initial order. This drink is such a simple tequila cocktail. The sweetness of the flavored crème de cassis takes some of the bites out of the ginger beer, garnished with lime wedge. Both ingredients fair well against the earthy flavor of a great tequila, and it all comes together quite nicely.

Not everyone would appreciate this cocktail as the content combinations are strong flavors on their own. ASIAN CHILLI BUFFALO WINGS -3,800

Loved the tenderness of the wings, was a ‘fall off the bone’ situation 😍. The sauce the wings was saturated in had tangy & spicy flavors. PENNE NAPOLITANA -5,000

The penne pasta was basically cooked in a simple yet flavorful Napolitana sauce (tomatoes, garlic, red pepper, basil & herbs), that also had white wine, cream & Parmesan cheese. Loved it. Nothing major. FLAME GRILLED PERI PERI -8,000

Look, they really should have named this dish ‘e choke’ because if water no dey, heaven straight o!

Nah, this chicken was chewy, wasn’t tender, so it got tiring. Also, the skin of the chicken had the most seasoning, the inside, BLAND. As picture implies - the sweet potato mash wasn’t fluffy, butter content almost...

Great service. Food just average. I'd recommend Fresh Cut fries anytime.

Beef Bourguignon - beef wasn't sliced as thick as I anticipated but not suya street meat thin. It's served separate from the mashed potatoes. Included zucchini, carrot and just a touch of onions. The sauce could have been more robust with flavor. Even the French cook with my more spices/seasoning/flavor.

Lobster Thermidor - forever grateful they do not use egg. The rice pilaf that's served alongside is as bland and flavorless as possible. You'll do best rolling the thermidor amongst the rice so the cream rolls into the rice. A half portion was sufficient, but I'd totally recommend the full serving should you have time/money/room.

Chicken Sandwich (Burger) - this was chosen as grilled over battered. We had a lot of carbs so there's that. The fries were crisp and seasoned as they should be but you rarely find in these parts. Topped with lettuce. Mayo spread. Tomato slices. Fried onions that were cold against everything else. Recommend with a notice to watch for the toppings condiments if you have allergens.

Truffle Pasta with homemade fettuccine - I was asked and opted for the homemade pasta. I probably should have went with the store bought. The Parmesan cheese topping is authentic but the truffles were hard to find and Taste yet the butter was prominently evident. Given all the dishes and the lack of flavor begging for immediate consumption - I had it packed to go home via takeaway.

By the way they charge for ToGo containers. Take away. At these prices it should be included.

Service was attentive. Saturday night had 4 tables total and the service didn't fail.

The welcoming bread basket was served via a paper napkin in the bowl. Given these prices and location - I'd expect a cloth napkin at best. They have monogrammed cloth napkins at different seats in the restaurant.

Vibe - good for a date night or group or family. Took the window view and sat in the booth. Lighting was apropos for the mood.

I shall return for salads, soup and fried shrimp. Plus, I know I'd like to try 1 dessert eventually but no rush to drop 40-60k.

See the pictures for the dishes. Including the...

The decor of Noir Restaurant is elegant and will not disappoint. I was very impressed with the ambience, nice music which was not too loud, and very attentive servers. My partner and I got seasonal veg, the roasted chicken with spicy honey mustard dressing, and the roasted pork dish with garlic potatoes. The food is cooked well, and portions are generous for a fine dining establishment. Almost everything was to die for: the texture and flavours of the chicken, the vegetables, and the potatoes were all perfect. However, I was disappointed by two things:

1. The bread basket is cold and comes with very cold butter which is impossible to spread on the bread. It would be nice if the bread was warmed up a bit and the butter kept at room temperature.
2. I did ask for a recommendation, either the pork or pizza, and was advised to have the pork. Unfortunately, I was disappointed by the protein. The pork is cooked well, but the flavour is not great. The meat itself is quite plain tasting and seems to only be seasoned with salt. The cooked apples which are to compliment the pork only taste of sugar and do not taste well at all. I tried advising the ssrver of this, but i dont think she understood. The pork dish would be so much better with less sugar on the apples, and an addition of an acid - such as soy sauce, and also maybe gochujang, cinammon, chinese five spice, etc. Or even change the the pork belly dish altogether - perhaps cooking in lemon pepper, garlic and rosemary, or a char siu style with hoisin sauce. I really hope they change this dish up. It is a shame to waste this meat, and i would have definitely had the pizza if I knew how the pork would taste. However, dont let my rant discourage from visiting this spot. Everything else is wonderful; if you can afford to visit a fine dining restaurant with a special someone - Noir is the place to be. The prices are that of a sit down restaurant/ in the US - and similar to the US, the taxes and service charge are...