The Castle Pub and Tapas Bar — Restaurant in Adeje

This place is an absolute disgrace, a tourist scam of the worst kind. We were actually laughing in disbelief, joking that we couldn’t pay by card because even our bank would mock us for being dumb enough to eat here. The food was nothing short of offensive. The mini squid came in a grey, lifeless batter, fried in oil so old it probably predates the restaurant itself. The meatballs were a textbook example of mechanically separated meat, basically processed sludge. The Camembert tasted like melted plastic, the chorizo was cheap, low-quality supermarket garbage, and the croquettes—just three sad little frozen lumps—were the kind of thing you’d find in the clearance section of a discount store. And then came the worst offenses: Papas Bravas, which were just frozen potato wedges drowned in the cheapest mayonnaise imaginable, with a pathetic drizzle of ketchup—so bad we actually thought it was a mistake. It wasn’t. The Garlic Bread? A single tiny frozen bread roll for €1.50—an absolute joke. And for €20 for six “tapas”, the portions were microscopic, a complete insult to anyone expecting a real meal. The atmosphere was just as bad—the music was loud, trashy, and completely unrelated to Spain or the Canary Islands, making the place feel more like a budget resort bar than a tapas restaurant. The waiters barely acknowledged our existence, making no effort whatsoever to provide even basic service. As a final slap in the face, they served us something that reminded us of Ron Miel with the bill—a small gesture that could have been nice—except it was the absolute cheapest version of the liquor, diluted on top of that. It was like they couldn’t help but cut corners on absolutely everything. The only person doing his job well was the guy outside tricking people into coming in—he got us, but don’t let him get you. This place is so bad that even cheap bottled sangria tastes gourmet compared to what they serve. Avoid it like the plague—your stomach (and your dignity)...

We were looking for a place to eat and were invited in by the person they had assigned to approach people. As the place had 6 tapas dishes for 20 and we did not want to eat too much but definitely wanted to eat very soon, we decided to go in. (Arrived at 8.00pm). We ordered a jug of sangria and the tapas. Got sangria very quickly, 10 minutes later a waitress came with tapas - they were not our tapas. She tried to argue with us that it's definitely what we ordered - hello,none of us like seafood, we know for a fact we did not! When the guy from the correct table noticed it he got her attention and she brought it to the right table. We thought we'll get our tapas soon too so. Fast forward 20ish more minutes. Still no tapas. We had finished our sangria and I went to ask for the bill for sangria (since we had gotten no tapas yet) so we could go on our way to search for food elsewhere. The waiter then said it's very busy and he'll check if the tapas are cooking. I said, fine, I'll wait couple more minutes but then we'll go. Lo and behold, our lukewarm, superoily so called 'fresh' tapas arrived. Tapas were very nice as would be anything but when you've been starved for nearly an hour at that point. But the taste was quickly ruined by the waiter who after his initial 'sorry' just tried to argue that 'some people wait over an hour ' and 'it's a very busy place and everyone is very happy other than you'. We got our bill, paid it and suggested that they should inform people they try to invite in that that might wait for so long however I doubt my suggestion will be taken on board... Oh, at the very end he did say, tomorrow we will warn you of waiting times. What a...

"My recent paella experience was a bit of a mixed bag. Opting for an individual portion of seafood paella, it arrived looking reasonably appealing, though perhaps lacking the visual drama of a larger pan. The few pieces of shrimp and the mussels were cooked adequately, and tasted fresh enough. However, the rice itself was somewhat underwhelming. While not burnt, it lacked the rich, flavorful broth that really makes a good paella sing. The saffron was subtle to the point of being almost undetectable. It felt a little like a basic seafood rice dish rather than a truly authentic paella. The portion size was reasonable for one person, leaving me feeling satisfied but not overly full. The service at the restaurant was okay; my order was taken promptly, and the food arrived in a decent amount of time. Ultimately, it was an average meal. It wasn't bad enough to complain about, but it certainly wasn't a standout dish. It served its purpose as a meal, but didn't leave a lasting impression. If I were craving paella again, I might be tempted to try somewhere else in the hope of finding a more flavorful and...