BRYCE. AT. APPLEBEE’S. A SAGA.”
I went to Applebee’s expecting $1 margaritas and reheated mozzarella sticks. What I got was a transcendental journey led by a man—no, a force—named Bryce.
From the moment he approached our table, I knew something was different. He didn’t ask for our drink order. He challenged us spiritually. “You look like a Shark Bowl with extra gummy sharks kind of crew,” he said, eyes narrowed like a hawk reading a tax form. He was right. I didn’t even know what that was until he brought out a glowing blue fishbowl of destiny.
Bryce had the energy of a man who moonlights as a professional storm chaser and once won a court case purely through charisma. He recited the entire Applebee’s appetizer menu from memory, but in reverse and with dramatic pauses like a Shakespearean monologue. I nearly clapped.
When our food arrived (an assortment of half-off apps that tasted like they were forged by Zeus’s microwave), Bryce performed a flaming tableside mozzarella stick reveal. I don’t even think it was legal, but it was glorious. The ranch dressing came in a chalice. A chalice, bro.
At one point, someone dropped a plate in the kitchen and Bryce just whispered, “Another soul has been claimed by the fajita steam.” Everyone nodded. No one asked questions.
By the end of the night, Bryce had convinced my friend Josh to join a bowling league, officiated an impromptu breakup at table 9 (he brought both parties lava cake), and slow-danced with a mop during “Sweet Caroline.”
I came for chain restaurant mediocrity. I left with a life coach, a keychain Bryce carved out of a chicken tender, and a new reason to believe in humanity.
Applebee’s doesn’t deserve...
Read moreMy family ate here on Sunday night 04/28/24, my father and grandfather got the same burger. They hadn't eaten for more than 6 hours before eating their burgers for dinner. Also, my father was there visiting for the day, they don't live in the same city or state. By 9:30pm my father noticed his stomach was bothering him, said it was in knots and he could tell something was wrong. Soon after, my grandpa started to get very sick, very quickly. He spent the night throwing up and having diarrhea. He ended up being so sick, my grandma started to notice he was out of it so she took him to the ER where he was admitted to the hospital and is still in the hospital. My grandma called Applebees to let them know what has happened and the manager completely blew her off. So my dad called, because he was the other person to get sick and the manager blew him off as well saying they just got a good grading and everything. A good rating does not save you from the possibility of serving bad food by any means, I don’t even understand how that was relevant. You can get sick from food at the nicest restaurant in the state soooo, how was that helpful? The lack of accountability is what really makes me mad. My grandpa is in his 80s so I think it hit him harder and took more of a toll on his body. But clearly there was something very wrong with those burgers! We obviously won't ever be returning here, particularly because the manager decided he would rather save his own rear then to just apologize and take accountability for the food that clearly made them both sick and quite literally sent my grandfather to...
Read moreADDED 10/3/25: Well, they've upgraded bar seating so every table--even the bench seating--is high. Our favorite low bar booth in the back corner is no more. Also upgraded is the menu. Two notable additions: an app of fried pickles and a grilled-cheese burger sandwich that looks yummy. We ordered the fried pickles, which were iffy at first bite, but then I began to taste the tajín in the batter. In the end, I decided it's an app I'll order again. My spouse tried the "Bourbon Chicken and Shrimp" from the Early Bird menu, and really enjoyed it. I got my favorite Grilled Chicken Salad on the same special. Then I accidentally left the half salad I had planned to finish off for dinner in the restaurant! Silly error... I hope someone claims it for a kitchen snack rather than simply tossing it; it really is one of two superlative salads on their menu! (The other is the Caesar. See below.)
ADDED 6/22/23: Applebee's still is not a place I would order a steak, but their lunch combos and sides have improved. A dinner-sized Caesar Salad with a bowl of well-made tomato basil soup is the same price on the lunch menu as the smaller side Caesar and ramekin of soup. Great for lunch! I've upgraded them by a star because of it.
We used to dine at Applebees twice a week at least. The steaks were always good, and riblets succulent. I don't know what changed, though, but none of these restaurants we've eaten at lately have been any better than moderate. Steaks with gristle (not just fat), and riblets that are fatty and far from high quality do not encourage even the most loyal of...
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