1330 on the River — Restaurant in Cleveland

Honestly one of the worst dining experiences my party has had in a while. The ONLY reason I've given two stars and not one is because service wasn't completely awful. However ½ our parties meals were delayed and there was a beer almost forgotten to be served. The staff was not cohesive, we couldn't tell who was a server or who was a patron. Everything from mini dresses, sweatshirts, and jeans.

Drinks were bad and under-poured, extremely weak. Food was borderline inedible. The charcuterie boards we got for an appetizer (only ordered one, but two were brought out) were not even close to identical and were underwhelming. They simply were not curated or put together well at all. They felt like a cash grab. The truffle fries were so garlic-y (and thats coming from a garlic lover) and not crisp that they were just bad. Three members of our party of four barely ate their meals or just didn't because they were either so oddly flavored, poorly prepared, or both. Salmon was inedible, as was the chicken. Chicken was incredibly dry and nobody at the table ate the vegetables provided with their meal. They were terrible, basically soup with the amount of sauce in them. Nobody enjoyed their meal.

The atmosphere is bizarre. Strange music and the restaurant doesn't know what it wants to be. It boarders upscale bar, club, and restaurant but succeeding at none of them. Our party could barely hear anything because of the music at 6:30 on a Sunday! We went to see the view, I'm sure if we were permitted to sit on the patio it would've been beautiful. However, they booked out the entire patio to a birthday party who ran around the restaurant for our two hour duration. Terrible ambience overall.

Nobody in our party ever wants to come back here. Look elsewhere before making a reservation, the reviews are mixed...

Service was good, drinks were mediocre, and the food was horrible. Full review below: Started the dining off with drinks. A mojito and the ‘Lady In the Water’. Mojito was nothing special while the ‘Lady in the Water’ tasted off, most likely from a cheap or poor choice in tequila being used. Terrible beer selection, especially for what they are trying to be.

Brussel sprouts were ordered as an appetizer. They were cooked inconsistently with some being almost entirely raw in the middle. The sprouts were soaked in sweet chili sauce which managed to ruin the crispiness of them while being entirely overwhelming. If they coated them in salt with no sauce, they would’ve been great! But sadly, that wasn’t the case. The plate was fairly large, arguably the best food/cost value of the night, but the sauce was entirely overwhelming.

The entrée ordered was the steak sandwich. To even call the meat in it ‘steak’ is quite a stretch. If you were expecting something like sliced sirloin, flank steak, or literally anything you could buy at a grocery store, you would be disappointed. The ‘steak’ was comparable to what you would get at Taco Bell. The chimichurri sauce was not puréed nearly enough. It contained large bits of parsley/oregano that were not chopped and entirely lacked the consistency required. The roll was nothing special and it was not toasted correctly at all: I felt like I was eating a hotdog. THE WORST PART were that the fries that accompanied it! FROZEN FRIES THAT WEREN’T cooked properly! I mean, how hard is it to even cook frozen fries well? For the price, it was extremely disappointing.

Will not be returning. There is nothing worth returning for. I’m just glad that I didn’t get something more expensive because I can only assume it would’ve been equally...

We dined with them on 12/4/21 with a reservation. Were seated promptly. Good service. Just a couple of odd things we encountered:

While people were eating a photographer was walking around asking people for their pictures to post on social media. I thought that was intrusive and rude; perhaps it’s a generational thing?

We ordered the Charcuterie board for an appetizer (it said market price, so we are thinking it would be a shareable item with seasonal cheeses and meats) and were very disappointed. We received 4 small pieces (maybe 2 oz) of Montamore’ Cheese that you can find in any grocery store, 1 small sample of Brie, 4-5 wheat crackers, 2 tbsp of raspberry jam, 4 pieces of deli salami, 4 pieces of prosciutto, and 2 tbsps of almonds. Very disappointing. Then our meal comes, each of us ordered something different. I ordered the French lamb chops ($38). I received 3 very small chops with sparse amounts of meat, maybe 2 oz for the whole meal. For a side, probably a cup of Brussel sprouts and the potatoes. My thought process was it was overpriced for the small portion. My friends got a salad and the pan seared chicken. The chicken had a great portion size and I was told it was good. The folks dining next to us actually didn’t finish their dinner, got up and left because one of the guests didn’t like the salmon (it was over cooked and dry for $25).

A few other things that felt off were the juice tasting and then directed to Instagram to purchase it. I have to be honest, it wasn’t great juice - odd business model.

The food was tasty, but the prices for the portions and the experience wasn’t great. I’m giving it a 3 star. It won’t...