Even Keel Fish Shack — Restaurant in Lauderdale-by-the-Sea

The only way to understand the hype here is to say that the dumbing down of America is alive and well, not only on civic matters, but on what quantifies as quality food.

We started out our 3-digit meal with raw oysters. Even though they were on the small to extra small size, $2.00 a pop was an acceptable price point if they hadn't got cute with the presentation. An avid seafood fare enthusiast, it wasn't too strange to find them still attached to their shells, swimming in brine. The thumbs down was in the brine's over-flavored salinity. It took an uncomfortable amount of grated horseradish and cocktail sauce to balance each oyster to an edible degree. It was not good. I thought it was a "C" idea on paper, but they got an "F" for execution. Little did I know at this point, though, that the appetizer would be the star of the experience.

Lobster Roll and Chips: except perhaps for pork or chicken, nothing on planet earth is as terrible as yesterday's dry, overcooked, lobster leg meat. And it was obvious that our chef's fascination with sodium didn't end with the oysters. The roll fell way short of noteworthy and the chips were just as bad: see, a semi-crispy potato chip is acceptable if they're fresh. IF! But when they're semi-crisp AND they taste like burned vegetable oil....well.... you get the idea. This one got an "F" all the way around.

Clam Carbonara: This dish....was just....wow. I mean, I wish there was something worse than a "F" to give this dish, so in my mom's own words, "there's always "Z"! This restaurant has the audacity to call this a pasta dish when it was in fact, a soup. So many things management (just to blame someone other than the chef) got wrong here. Sauce did not thicken, saltier than the other two dishes combined, the pasta was 2 minutes short of al dente (did I mention that the noodles were BURNED in spots?), AND....a poached egg? It reminded me more of poorly conceptualized Ramen than it did a Carbonara. Just awful. Salty soup. With undercooked, burned noodles. And an egg.

Needless to say, if you stop in for a beer, go ahead and do it. Enjoy it, even.

Just be wary of the chips...and...

We were excited to try out a new place and headed over to Even Keel for a bday dinner. The place was packed at 8pm on a Saturday but the hostesses, who were very friendly, got us setup at one of their high-top tables. Our server was also very friendly and came over promptly to get our beverages. I wish I could say everything went great from there. Unfortunately it was a disaster. The only thing we enjoyed (which is a big deal) was the staff. Everyone that came to our table was incredibly friendly and engaging. However, the food ranged from average to terrible. We started with the fish dip and 3 wood oven roasted oysters. Both were bland and extremely mediocre at best. At that point, it was too early to panic. And again, we were enjoying staff and had high hopes for entrees. Regrettably, the entrees were very unimpressive. I ordered the lobster roll that came with a healthy portion of Maine lobster but was very average. My parents ordered the scallops entree but they missed one of the orders so it took an extra 5+ minutes for the second plate to hit the table. The manager checked in and delivered the late scallops dish but provided no explanation. At this point, my mom had to send hers back because of how terrible it tasted. She ended up getting the Wagyu cheeseburger instead, which ended up being the best thing that we had. Lastly, my wife ordered the Tile fish entree which, outside of the small amount of crumbled bacon and micro-cilantro, was completely tasteless. Finally, before leaving I went to the restroom and witnessed a server take his apron off and place it on the floor next to the urinal before going pee. I was hesitant to place this review. But having been in restaurant management, I would rather know these things than find out through diminishing revenues. I also understand that there are kinks in any new establishment and am willing to be understanding of the mistimed items. However, regardless of how nice the ambiance and how friendly the staff, if the food isn’t good they’re not...

We went to dinner tonight at 6:30 I don't think the restaurant has a very good atmosphere when you are seated at a table that is only a few inches from the table next to you we had people on both sides not more than six inches from us the food I would say is okay at best the charred octopus is mostly Squid Ink spaghetti with very little octopus in it the broccolini does not even come out hot it is cold and not a crisp vegetable it's a raw vegetable the red snapper is a 3-inch by 3-inch piece at most for $32 and don't bother getting the roasted Maine scallops you get three of them there fishy tasting and the description sounds like you are getting more but you get two squares of potatoes that are about 1/2 inch and two pieces of pear the same size and to walnuts with a little line celery root puree those are off of a large plate menu all of their food should be on the small plate menu there is nothing large about anything there when you order your food you eat you will need to leave and go eat somewhere else are you will still be hungry I gave this restaurant one star because of the prices of the food the food is mediocre at best and the Ambiance of the restaurant is a -1 in my opinion when you are sitting on top of someone else I don't feel if I spend $150 for dinner that I should leave a restaurant still hungry because the portions are so small and I don't think a fresh seafood restaurant should have food that...