Cafe Old Vienna — Restaurant in Myrtle Beach

Take my review with a grain of salt. I am German and I see these places as a way to remember my home country. There are very few places in the US that truly deliver on German food quality and you certainly shouldn’t expect a fantastic German food experience in a tourist location in South Carolina, especially if it carries the name “Vienna”. Because, sometimes, when you mix two food-cultures that are great on their own, but just don’t belong to each other, you may get nothing. The good news is that, here, you get something - albeit I have no idea what it really is. You decide.

The location: In the middle of where life happens in Myrtle Beach. Convenient parking (we visited just outside of the tourism season and wouldn’t dare to come here during the tourism season. This definitely could attract some interesting audiences and turn itself into a mini Oktoberfest crowd every night, especially during bike week.)

The atmosphere. I have no idea why German restaurants always have to have a one-man band playing polka music on an accordion. Really, no one plays polka music in restaurants in Germany, and I am not sure if I am aware of a lot of places where the servers wear lederhosen in restaurants in Germany (well, maybe in the touristy places in Munich) – and if they do, they don’t wear t-shirts and they definitely do not wear sneakers. Dear Vienna Cafe, if you go for the pretentious experience, go all the way and don’t with the lederhosen and the dirndl.

The service: Friendly, polite and prompt. No German language spoken.

The food: Well. So, it’s a place with an Austrian name and largely Bavarian-like food with some bits and pieces of Austrian dessert (Sacher Torte - no traditional Bavarian desserts such as apple strudel or kaesesahne torte) thrown into it. I say Bavarian-like as it is really americanized and represents very much what Americans may think Bavarian food could be like. What you actually get is almost an insult to American intelligence - and an American version of Bavarian food that you may have been able to order in a Bavarian cow village pub in the 1980s. It has very little to do what you’d get in a decent Bavarian restaurant today.

We ordered potato pancakes for $11/12/13 (don't recall the exact price) as an appetizer. We got three small pancakes that did not follow a German recipe at all and were hopelessly overpriced. They tasted rubbery, lacked searing and were, maybe, worth $5. So, don't get the potato pancakes. If you do, don't complain and say I didn't tell you.

I typically would order a traditional pork roast or the pork shank in a German/Bavarian restaurant and did so here as well. I replaced the spaetzle with the more traditional potato dumplings that belong to a pork shank as a side (this place does not offer an option of traditional bread dumplings). First, there are two versions – a pork shank for two for $42 and a shank for one for $22. This looked suspiciously expensive but I ordered it anyway.

What arrived at the table would probably cause, in Germany, at the very least, a serious conversation with the manager. In a worst case, there’d be a riot in the beer tent at the Oktoberfest. The shank arrived in two little pieces that had nothing to do with a shank (I actually have no idea what I was served, but it was definitely not a shank), it was missing the traditional shank crust and it was served with gravy over the meat which is a big no-no for a pork shank. I am not sure what kind of dumplings I got – but these were not potato dumplings. They tasted more like traditional “servietten knoedel” in the shape of 5 massive “finger noodles”. They tasted ok, but, again, had zilch to do with what was on the menu and what I ordered. So, forego the potato dumplings.

If you don’t care what you order – it felt a little like a mystery meal to me – the taste was alright and pretty much what you expect to get in a tourist place. You’ll feel cheated out of your money, but accept it because that is what happens in a tourist place and you’ll...

Had a wonderful time with friends tonight at Cafe Old Vienna. This is the perfect place to celebrate Oktoberfest or just enjoy good German food. The ratings are based on the desire to do just that. First, Melissa (hostess) was great. We had a party of six and even though they were busy and turning tables she got us a comfortable booth quickly and came to find us outside to let us know it was available. She also checked during the meal to see how we were doing and helped bus and serve. Our waitress, whose name I forget was also great. And I loved the theming from the server uniforms and decor to the live music.

Now onto the food. We ordered potato pancakes for an appetizer, Sauerbraten and Pork Cordon Bleu for dinner and Black Forest Cake (to go) for dessert.

The potato pancakes were great. There were two sizes ( 3 or 4) and they were served with sour cream and applesauce. They were the size of small coasters and had bacon and I think a little bit of cheese in them. It was a great item to share as you got just enough of a taste without spoiling your appetite.

Salad and bread were served too. Salad was a basic side salad with you choice of dressing. The house is a honey vinaigrette. We all had ranch, thousand island or blue cheese so I'm not sure how the house is....I'll try it next time.

The Sauerbraten and Pork Cordon Blue were amazing and the flavors were bold but balanced. The portions were generous and everyone left with lunch for tomorrow. We had spatzle and red cabbage as sides and they were fairly traditional in taste and texture. The spatzle have used a little salt, but it's hardly a criticism.

Black Forest cake was sinful. I liked it specifically because the cake and icing were light so it didn't feel like I was eating something super rich, although it did have good flavors.

All in all we all agreed we would go again. It isn't the easiest place to have a conversation because of the acoustics, but the music was worth it. Can't...

Dinner here is what heaven must be like. We couldn't decide what to have, it all sounded so good, so we ordered several dishes and shared. The staff were happy to accommodate us and brought extra plates and were diligent in removing the empty ones as we finished so that our table never felt overcrowded. We started with the Potato Pancakes (be sure to try the with the apple sauce) and the escargot with bread and butter. Yum! The escargot ranked in my top two ever (my six year old enjoyed them too!). The potato pancakes were such a delightful surprise that I wish there had been more. My son ordered the Kid's Knackwurst. As he never eats much, except for desserts, I was fortunate enough to finish it for him. The sausage was so full of flavor and perfectly cooked. His spatzle, thick noodles, was very tasty with the gravy provided. For our dinner we shared the German Feast Single, Sauerbraten, Viennese Kettle Gulasch. Every single dish was a treat. My wife, my daughter, and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves working our way through the bratwurst, knackwurst, weiner-schnitzel, red cabbage, and spatzle of the feast. We loved the tenderness and flavor of the sauerbraten. And the robust spice, not spicy, of the gulasch was a flavorful, though sad, end to our meal. After dinner we had the same distress in choosing a dessert that we felt in choosing a dinner. Since the plan worked so well with dinner, we ordered several and shared. We started with the Vienna Crepes with Apricot filling, then ate the Apple Strudel, next we devoured the Lemon Berry Mascarpone Cake, we then savoured the Sachertorte, and finally we fell on the Vienna Ultimate Chocolate. If I was forced at gunpoint to select a favorite it would be the Sachertorte, but only if I were forced to choose only one. Every single bite was a marvel of tastes. I hope that I may return to Myrtle Beach again so that I may have another superb meal at...