Escape From New York Pizza — Restaurant in Portland

This is the best slice on the west coast, period. The thing about the reviews of this place where people say the owner is rude largely stem from the fact that every other shop in the city basically bends over backwards to serve you their over-engineered, West coast nonsense slice of alligator Alfredo sauce whatever, while you stand there and hem and haw about whether or not the dough has gluten in it, or if they serve things that aren't on the f*&$n menu.

Look, it's pizza. Cheese, sauce, and dough. Sometimes some toppings make a good slice, and the owners are savvy about the toppings they choose to offer on any given day, but pizza is about simplicity, and when you sit there and try to inject some kind of culinary intellectualism into it just doesn't work, and serves only to annoy anyone who "gets" pizza and street food culture (read, anyone who's familiar with real pizza and not some foodie idiocy of tarting up simple street food), especially the owners who have to deal day in, day out with entitled, clueless people trying to order stuff they clearly don't have if you took ten seconds to look at the menu.

Stop overthinking pizza. Look at the menu and order what's on the menu and you won't have any problems. It's pizza, not rocket science. If it's not on the menu (surprise of surprises) they don't have it. If it's not on the counter (surprise of surprises) you're probably not getting a slice of it. If you don't want a slice that's been "sitting out," don't order it. That's how pizza shops are. They're not there to babysit your ignorance. Look around you and demonstrate some basic situational awareness. Does it look like the kind of place to get gluten free, saffron infused duck fat mahgerita? No. Order a slice of plain cheese or pepperoni and let the simplicity of a classic slice of pizza work its magic on your mouth and stomach.

If you want some kind of "gourmet" Frankenstein abomination of complex flavour profiles and blah blah blah, go elsewhere. If you want a traditional New York slice, this...

I would give this place a MINUS 100 STARS, if possible!

I had what I believed to be plastic in my pizza(!) which nearly chipped my tooth! I mentioned it to the girl behind the counter, and she said that there was nothing she could do about it because I had already eaten some of the food! I asked her how would I have known unless I had eaten some?!?!

She also proceeded to tell me that it was probably carbon(!) from the oven! Was this supposed to make me feel better thinking that I may have eaten carbon particles from her oven!?!?

I asked to speak with the manager, and she said that he was on a break. So, I said that I would wait. After waiting a while, there was no manager on duty, let alone and owner or anyone else.

This may have quite possibly been the worst eating experience of my life. And, to make matters worse, the pizza maker said that I was being rude and they asked me to leave. She also said that I probably have never worked in the food industry before?!?! What???

How any of this has anything to do with eating plastic or carbon particles in my food is beyond me.

This was completely unacceptable behavior, service and food, to say the least.

If you want good pizza, to keep all your original teeth in your mouth and to avoid eating carbon particles, run, don't walk, to another option for pizza in the city...

The best slice you will find in Portland. It would be a crying shame to only qualify it as thin crust. There's just the right thickness to get a proper fold on your slice. Get a whole pie or a slice heated to cheese stretching, crispy perfection. I've been coming here for 25+ years and every time is a treat. One thing they have that VERY few pizza places have is consistency. After probably 1000+ slices I've never had a bad piece. Like some wise guy once said, quality never goes out of style. Other places have gimics or "fusion." My best compliment is that this is the only place where I order a cheese pizza. Don't get me wrong, their pep is top notch, and the sausage with green peppers is a favorite too. But if you can get me to 23rd and fight for a parking space over a cheese pizza, that's some kind of magic. Add on a Martinelli's apple cider, it's a combination of bliss and nostalgia that will transport you to a simpler, less tanned world. Do everyone a favor though, enjoy your slice and a beverage but don't linger, this isn't Starbucks... On another note, I have reflux which generally makes tomato sauce a painful experience, but whatever quality tomatoes they use in their sauce has let me enjoy every bite of this incredible pie with...