Wetherspoon circa 2024, 7:32pm, Tuesday 13th of January, a dreary, miserable night, newly divorced. I was looking for some comfort inside the warm, homely walls that is Wetherspoon. Unfortunately, comfort is the last word I would use to describe the harrowing events that took place this night. Upon arrival, I was immediately flagged for expressing myself, I’m what you call a Therian. Everywhere I go I am met with evil stares, but Wetherspoon… I thought you’d be different. They asked me if my 14 foot long tail would be a problem for other patrons, I instantly bewildered. Who do they think they are? My therian senses tingled, a familiar scent. I slowly turn my head to table 106, it’s my furry fellow Thomathy! (xe/xem) (aroace) (pupgender). “Fret not, she’s house trained,” xey said, thank God for people like xem in this world. Xe practically saved my life. I was seated at table 106 and was ready to get ordering. I decided on my usual, kibble wrap in a dog bowl with Francesca engraved across the front. They were NOT respectful towards my wishes, I fell to my knees “n..no w..wait,” I howl at the moon, and what do I see across the table? Thomathy, cunningly tapping xer fingers together, “That was beautiful, don’t worry I won’t tell a soul.” I was aghast, xey unzipped xer therian suit and what do I see? The baker’s wife (she once robbed me, harassed me, rooted through my rutabaga, raided my argula) (that’s another story, never mind, anyway), a dreadful sight indeed…the once calm atmosphere now filled with despair, I felt an overbearing sense of forlorn as all the memories came flooding in, my stance strengthened as I readied to pounce; “I’m not letting you get away, not this time…” Her eyebrows furrowed at me, I could sense her growing rage 😡

Swiftly, before I could do anything else…A cyclist came crashing in!!!! Now if you know anything about me (Reginald) (owner of great Dane Chihuahua cross) (not bragging by the way) you would know, I have a sense to foresee chaotic events regarding cyclists. My attention shifted, I had save EVERYTHING in this room (it’s my duty as a Therian citizen) I did a 360 degree spinning hook kick (really hard karate move by the way) right against the cyclist’s temple. BAM! instantly KNOCKED! “K.O” I thought, no more pesky cyclists to bother me. I was thrilled, until I saw the glaring eyes of everyone in front of me staring back.. gulp “she’s right behind me, isn’t she..?” Suddenly, a blunt force conquered me. All those years I had spent trying to forget, all those hours I had spent in therapy, all those thoughts I had pondered so heavily… all for nothing.

The cow head, IT WAS BACK.

I grabbed the rifle from my back pocket, NOT THIS TIME, I repeated over and over in my head. Revenge is best served between served between two sesame brioche buns (like a burger lol), “DATTEBAYO!” I exclaimed, summoning the anime gods to come watch over me; 99 diet cokes fled from their generous, golden hands, all the fuel I needed. I quickly chugged the liquid ecstasy. THE 540 KICK! I once swore to my sensei I would never utilise this move, it was far too powerful for any sentient being, but the world was pushing my limits today… NEEDLESS TO SAY, she won’t be messing with me again. (By the way this move is really hard so don’t try to do it)

Overall pretty iffy experience up to u if u wanna go here