Firmine — Restaurant in Paris

The good: the atmosphere is good. It meets all the fairy tale ideals of a Parisian sidewalk restaurant. Good decoration, cozy layout. Near a lively intersection to be interesting, but not an arterial road that distracts you from the meal and company. So 5/5 for atmosphere.

The just-okay: the food is not bad when compared to a North American Italian chain restaurant. (I am aware this is a low bar. And possibly an insult to Italian or French people.) Let’s just say I did not have wild expectations of this place. But it met them well.

It’s just expensive. You can find similar restaurants 30% cheaper less than 10min away. To be clear: I knew about the price before I sat down. The first sign is that fact they need hostesses to flag down diners. And I had a dinner at a place 30% cheaper and

Mediocre at best. Firmine is located fairly close to the Eiffel Tower, and on our way back to the hotel we were staying at. I looked up the reviews, which appeared favorable! It was also busy, which I tend to believe is a sign that the food must be good/ fresh. The patio was bustling on a Monday evening. We were seated rather quickly which is a bonus. The menu was handed to me rather quickly, as if it was a hot potato game. Per the reviews, it is noted as being good for pizza and pasta. So, that's when we stuck with. I ordered the Pasta Bolognese, and he the Parma pizza. Tomato, mozzarella, Parma Ham, Egg, oregano. When we asked for a wine similar to a wine we enjoy (Malbec, because of its smooth finish, less tannic), she seemed a little irritated. Such is life. We are in France. Those were already my expectations. No offer of anything we could "taste" first, I ordered a red, and he had the suggestion of a Pinot Noir type from the bartender said the server. 12ml glasses. Mine was an Irancy, it's fine, nothing to brag about. (I wonder if "Irancy" means rancid in French) His tasted, well, like the bottle had been opened for a month. I started with the oven grilled French Onion Soup. The first few bites were actually delightful. Toasty melted cheese over top, soup had a real grilled onion taste and not the sometimes typical "dishwater" you taste in the states. The bread underneath was soaked enough but lacked some crunchy edges (from the supposed "grill", more like stale. Oh OUI! I ate about half of it, and then I was over it. Then came our dishes. His pizza could have fed us both. My Lasagna... wait Lasagna?? Um no, I order the spaghetti. I saw the lasagna had terrible reviews... The server told me I order the lasagna, and I said, um no. (Sacre blue!) She looked peeved, then another server/manager (who knows) came by, and said, it's the same price. Oh well then I should eat it, yes? No, please give me pasta. So he rushed it out of my face, demanded to the kitchen loudly "pasta bolognese" and while Jason ate his giant pizza, and into his second slice, my new dish was presented very quickly! Impressed, I couldn't wait to dig in. A deep bowl filled with spaghetti noodles are bundled up like a cute kitten in a ball with Bolognese on top and some shredded basil. The cheese on the table is basic grated parmesan and nothing fancy. I tried to eat it without. First bite, hot as the fire that is blue. Talk about fresh? Lol Well fresh Boyardee, and boy was I not impressed. I tried to twirl it up and manage the "minced beef steak" as the menu reads down the hatch. I ate half of it as not to be rude, but couldn't palate it otherwise. Dessert she asks, NO to thank you. Getting the check was another 30 to 40 min. I'm sure whatever conversation the servers and hosts were having was more important than getting paid or a tip. I suppose they don't tip in France?...

I always hate writing a bad review, but do feel a bit obligated to warn people about my experience.

First, I should say the ambiance at night is especially nice and the location, being a stones throw from the Eiffel tower, is convenient for tourists. The service was also good. The staff speaks multiple languages catering to tourists from all over the world. It follows then, that we saw was nothing but families of tourists crammed on to a terrace eating overpriced food all hoping for an authentic Parisian dining experience. Of which, this was not.

I found the prices to be extremely high for the quality of faire offered, even for a tourist trap -over $11 USD for a glass of coke! I've travelled extensively all over the world and Firmine sets the record for the most I've ever been charged for a coke -including airports and amusement parks! The price of the coke unfortunately is representative of the rest of the menu. Exceptionally overpriced, for average (at best) food. I feel this restaurant caters specifically to people who do not check the menu carefully... as the management has confirmed in recent replies to other reviews, in which they brazenly dismiss other complaints saying, "that's why we have the menu on display outside". Oof, brutal!

Just for funsies, I'd like to ask Firmine Managment to reply to this review and tell me of any restaurant, that charges more than $11 USD for a coke -any restaurant, anywhere in the world.

On to the food, I had the roasted chicken. This was a tiny, tiny chicken. Its like the size of a KFC chicken -but smaller. But that's ok, since my jaw got tired from chewing it before i could finish (see picture). It was very dry, bland and extremely tough -like low sodium chicken jerkey. It reminded me of when I once tried to cook a raw chicken breast in the microwave and set the timer for waaaaay toooo long. On the plus side tho, they serve it with a small cup of drippings, which u can use to rehydrate the chicken a little before putting it in ur mouth, but once that runs out, or ur jaw gives out, meal over.

I would comment on my girlfriend's order, but I feel I've already spent too much time on this place... as you should feel too having read this review.

In sum, there are much better options in the vicinity.

But as not to be a complete Debbie Downer, I'll end this review on a positive note, the 4 year old at the table next to us semed to really enjoy the pizza, as he incessantly screamed out "PIZZA! PIZZA! NOM NOM NOM!" while running around the...