Pinóquio — Restaurant in Lisbon

We dined on a Monday night and arrived about half past 8, and there was a queue, but we were seated within 5 minutes which was a welcome surprise as having walked past it many times, there was always a lot of people waiting so we expected a wait.

That was the best part about the experience here.

Clearly a busy place, but our waiter was chaotic. It took forever to get the wine list, and then he took forever to return, and always seemed to be rushed (in a bad way), spoke fast and pressed you to interact with him quickly. I'm not sure if it's a personality quirk, or someone not being able to properly cope with busy service, but either way, it wasn't a pleasant experience, even though he was generally very friendly in what he said.

The waiter had to return to clarify one of the orders as he couldn't read/remember what he wrote down - that's no problem - but then when our dishes came, one of the other dishes was completely wrong, and the waiter tried to sell it to us there and then on the table as to why it was better than the one we ordered, in a clear attempt to cover up a mistake, and seemed suitably annoyed when we said no, we'd like the one we ordered. The soggy bread dish didn't really appeal to us!

In addition to that, one of the dishes, leek à brás arrived cold, as was the rice with the seafood curry. The leek à brás was in a paella dish which you expect to be hot for a while as it's metal, so we think it must've been hanging around for a while.

Both dishes, however, were tasty, but it would've been much nice if they were hot. The curry sauce really was lovely.

The seafood rice when it eventually came was good, lots of prawns but a bit... Bland. Could've done with a squeeze of lemon and a bit more oomph, but it reminded me of a comforting congee and something great for when you're sick.

When the bill eventually came, as the waiter was hovering extremely close over the efpos machine, think invading personal space close, he made a point of saying here is where you add the tip, and I clicked no, and then he went into a spiel about how hard he works and how wages are so low in Portugal for this kind of work.

Now - not only is this incredibly rude and awkward for a waiter to say to a customer, but the truth that we didn't disclose to him, is that where we are from the practice is to leave cash tips, to ensure the money goes directly to the waiter and isn't skimmed by the company which is common when the tip is paid on the card.

But after his inappropriate begging story that was so awkward, we decided, actually, we didn't want to even leave a cash tip. If he hadn't said that, we were probably going to leave a little something, but that was the icing on the cake of a poor Lisbon dining experience.

Slow service but a rushed attitude, cold dishes, and the wrong dish, sob story about needing tips before we'd even tried to leave one...

We...

Pinoquio was bad because the food was poorly prepared and lacked flavor, leaving a lot to be desired. From the moment the dishes arrived at our table, it was clear that quality was not a priority. We ordered fish, but it was so riddled with bones that it was practically inedible. Each attempt to take a bite was met with the unpleasant crunch of bones, making the meal not only unenjoyable but also hazardous. The fish itself was overcooked and dry, devoid of any seasoning or freshness, compounding our disappointment.

The environment was equally disappointing, casting a shadow over the entire dining experience. The presence of pigeons and wasps made it impossible to relax and enjoy our meal. Pigeons strutted brazenly around the outdoor seating area, scavenging for food scraps and often landing on tables. Their incessant cooing and flapping were both a distraction and a health concern. To make matters worse, wasps buzzed aggressively around the diners, attracted by the sugary drinks and desserts. It felt like we were constantly swatting away these unwelcome guests, which made for an incredibly uncomfortable dining experience.

The atmosphere of the restaurant, which could have been its saving grace, was instead neglected and uninviting. The tables and chairs were old and in disrepair, some wobbling precariously, adding to the overall sense of disregard. The decor, which might once have been charming, now felt dated and shabby, with chipped paint and faded posters. The staff seemed indifferent, if not outright apathetic, to the plight of their patrons. Service was slow and inattentive, with waiters appearing more interested in their own conversations than in attending to their customers. Requests for water refills or additional condiments were met with sighs and eye-rolls, making us feel like an inconvenience rather than valued guests.

Adding to the overall disarray was the cleanliness, or lack thereof. Crumbs and spills from previous diners were evident on the tables and floors, indicating a lack of thorough cleaning between seatings. The restroom facilities were no better, with broken fixtures and a general sense of neglect. The unpleasant odors wafting from the kitchen area only compounded the feeling that hygiene standards were not being upheld.

Despite its attempts to project a quaint, family-friendly image, Pinoquio failed on almost every front. The combination of poorly prepared food, an uncomfortable and unsanitary environment, and indifferent service made for an overall experience that was not just disappointing, but outright disheartening. What should have been a pleasant outing turned into a lesson in patience and tolerance. I left Pinoquio feeling not only dissatisfied but also resolved never to return.

Also the manager chased us down the bathroom and made us feel...

Don't GET FOOLED... AVOID! For many years this was a great place to eat real food and great seafood. NOT ANYMORE. Yesterday I had dinner there for the first time since Covid. The place was renewed, the promenade zone was increased and looks fine... but this is it. Pinoquio restaurant is now a place to trick uncounscious tourist with first class prices but low class food. Let's sumarize my meal yesterday. We were 4 at the table...

Service: there are a lot of waiters, running all the time but they don't really pay attention to you and to your table. You always need to call then and you ended up being assisted not by the same guy, but for the one who is passing near by when you call. Allso don't expect to be served to fill your glasses. thst simply does not happen.

Food: As a starter we asked for some shrimps. I specifically asked to not have small ones, and guess what... the small ones was what they brought in. They are not easy to peal and have very small meat... despite that, they charged €44.5, for a small half empty bowl. Ridiculous amount of money for such shrimps in Portugal. I could have send this bowl back and ask for bigger ones but after waiting for 20 minutes I did not wanted to wait even longer.

Main courses: Seafood Paella - I had this paella before on my other visits to Pinoquio some years ago. In the past this was a great meal... now is just a plate of yellow rice flavourless (the cooker forgot the salts for sure). The seafood you can barelly see it appart from a small half crayfish on the top of the paella. There was no crispy rice at the bottom of the pan, as any paella MUST have.

No deserts... please go the the "Pastel de Nata" pastry near by (30 meters away) and get a warm, fresh just made "Pastel de nata".

Price: 40€ per person... for Portugal standards and considering the food quality, this is way too much. This is a pity... Pinoquio used to be a great please to eat. This was my last time there. If you are at the surroundings, and looking for really great food, please go to "Solar dos Presuntos", or to "Gambrinos". Don't get foled!

REPLY REGARDING THE RESTAURANT RESPONSE: Why didn't I gave this feedback locally there while I was at the restaurant? Very simple... you not even had time to attend properly during the meal... you not even filled my glass during the meal... why should I bother to discuss my disvavour with someone that didn't care about me all the time I was there? You don't need anyone's feedback to realize that your food is now way bellow the standards of the old times. Ask the chef or the manager to eat the paella you prepared. You know this food is really disapointing for Portugal standards. You don't need...