Elcielo Restaurant Miami — Restaurant in Miami

It took me a while to visit this Colombian restaurant chain by chef Juan Manuel Barrientos Valencia. I hesitated each time I thought about making a reservation. Unless we are talking about Chicago’s Alinea (and the reason you won’t find me at Barton G. or Nusr–Et), I’m not really into overly gimmicky dinners. By the time dinner ended, with a full-on smoke show, of course, I pondered just how many times I would want to relive that experience now that I knew what it entailed.

Earth-inspired accents set against all-white interiors and the Miami River as a backdrop create the ultimate ambiance for an exclusive culinary journey. Dinner options on the menu varied: The Visit $65, The Journey $89, and The Experience $119 (also available as a modified pescetarian option). I chose to splurge and go all in with The Experience.

At El Cielo, the courses are referred to as “moments.” Predictably, my least favorite moments involved tricks and visuals. After a brief lets-pour-hot-water-over-towels-and-watch-them-grow act, the waiter slowly drizzled white chocolate all over my hands and encouraged me to try it (as in, lick my fingers): White Chocotherapy. The fun and interest faded quickly as I sat there with sticky-hands figuring out when I’d be able to run off and wash them with soap.

There was also the clumsily executed Banana dessert. Served plainly on a plate, the waiter paused for effect and made sure I took a good look before instructing me to turn the fruit over. Starry-eyed, he watched closely expecting me to gasp with equal excitement to match his, but I couldn’t. It looked like it had been sliced with a Play-Doh knife by my nine-year-old. I peeled off the banana to reveal a chocolate and pureed banana concoction underneath.

For the grand finale, our waiter proudly announced I’d be having the best coffee in the world: Colombian coffee. Using a pour-over method, he prepped the coffee tableside while describing the ingredients of the accompanying macarons and jellies. He then explained how the chef felt inspired by the feeling evoked when enjoying that first-morning cup surrounded by dense fog at Colombian coffee plantations. And just like that- poof- smoke appeared and covered everything on the table as he poured watery coffee into my cup.

Thankfully, those three overly-hyped courses didn’t cross over to the rest of the menu. The dramatically staged, and much-photographed Tree of Life held my attention. Beautifully presented atop a copper wire vessel resembling a tree, the piping-hot yuca bread easily pulled apart at the light touch of my fingers: doughy and comforting as every bread should be.

A parade of visually-pleasing small plates began shortly afterward. The Black & Yellow Soup emerged as delicate and savory art on a plate. Once again encouraging a playful sense of touch, the bite-sized Snack Duo of crab croquetas brought a little bit of snap, crackle, and mole pop to the table.

Other highlights included the Salmon Tartare , the authentically criollo Farmer’s Chicken and Atollado Rice, and the Potato Milhojas.

After the banana course, a Coconut and Pineapple custard arrived inside a bowl. Topped with a layer of frothy bubbles and a generous spoonful of honey, this creamy and decadent dish easily became the dessert highlight of the night.

Even with its high moments, I don’t this is a dinner I’m likely to repeat anytime soon. Walking away, I needed to crave more than just the yuca bread. I simply cannot justify the $500 or so price tag when I feel the uniqueness they hoped for fell short. If it wasn’t because of my photos and notes, there’s little I would have remembered about El Cielo. And...

Service was rushed—the bulk of 18 courses in under 1 hour, creating a stressful experience overall (details below).

I recognize the culinary journey at El Cielo is unlike any other, yet was unable to enjoy and truly receive pleasure in it. It's designed to be interactive, fun, and colorful, thoughtfully awakening the senses and even transporting guests to the mountainous coffee fields Colombia. Additionally, the restaurant overlooks the Miami river for an entertaining opportunity to watch Yacht and party-boat passings.

Unfortunately, the service was frantic, creating a sense of stress and unease, and making it nearly impossible to enjoy what this experience was designed to be. Specifically: plates were partially cleared during several courses while we were still eating twice my partner's place setting was completely cleared while I was still eating once a server stood over me while holding my partner's clearing, waiting for me to finish so she could take mine absolutely no space between courses--it is a sprint! As soon as plates are cleared, the next plates are placed Servers regularly shared how they felt personally about dishes as they were placing them, rather than allowing space for guests to experience each course themselves one server spoke in low and quick mumbles, so I could never quite understand what they were describing

Overall, it felt like servers were amped and pushy—perhaps caffeine and enthusiasm went awry? Not at all in tune with guests or creating space for a parasympathetic receiving state.

I have never felt so stressed during a dining experience—rushed should only be reserved for work lunches and airports please, not 18 course journeys. There is no time to digest, discuss, or even be, only "HURRY PLEASE, WE NEED TO MOVE THIS ALONG!"

Food specifics: mushroom buñelos were oh so good--albiet a bit hot inside (should be timed to serve a bit cooler since we are guided to eat all at once, without being able to gauge or cool inside temp) the stone crab arepas were fantastic! great balance of flavors and textures. the ceviche was a bit too cold for the flavor profiles to come through--a frozen quality of numbing the yucca gnochi was to die for! I would absolutely go back for a la carte order of this and the lamb chops lamb chops were tender, perfectly balanced, and light for lamb. Wow! the banana was one of the best tasting fine-dining deserts I've ever enjoyed

Opportunities: slow down service please, don't count petit fours as courses (bc I save room), consider incorporating green vegetables, gift a keepsake (coffee seems the no...

FOOD POISONING/SALMONELLA - DO NOT EAT HERE

TL;DR: Spent $1200 on a birthday dinner for my girlfriend (just the two of us), ended up with food poisoning hugging the toilet all night, ruining all our after dinner plans - I called them 6~ times over 2 days to give them a chance to make it right, with no response. Do not eat here. Details:

Birthday dinner for 2, 5.30pm to 10pm, "The Experience" tasting menu, with 2 wine pairings and several bottles of water. Price: $1000, with automatic tip: $1200.

The "Food":

Very underwhelming experience; a perfect example of a restaurant that tries way too hard - every "course" is a creative, but unsuccessful, clash of flavors (eg. Adding chocolate to an onion soup).

The basics were absolutely butchered, resulting in the worst tasting lamb I have ever had, and a grossly undercooked duck which ended up giving me food poisoning. The level of ineptitude required to serve raw duck to a paying guest at a $1000 meal is incredible to the point where it should be criminal.

Gimmicks like pouring chocolate on your hands, or the overused dry ice, fell completely flat. Non functional, and terrible in taste.

The only passable "course" was the cone, and we did enjoy the rose petals at the end.

The Atmosphere:

Nothing special: the restaurant is tucked away in a corner of a hotel, overlooking a narrow body of water. We were seated in a narrow room with 3 other tables.

What ruined this atmosphere for me was the music: imagine the most generic, loud, annoying music blasting in your ear as you try to understand the broken accent of the wait staff.

The Service:

The Service was quick, but inattentive - our meals came in quick succession, but they forgot our wine pairings until we reminded them, and every simple question was misunderstood and misanswered.

The Wine Pairings:

Below average - 2 good whites followed by the worst reds I've had in a long time - extremely heavy handed and bold, suffocating any chance of a happy marriage with the food. In Summary:

This was the worst financial decision of my life. The inept cooks managed to give me food poisoning and absolutely ruining the rest of my vacation. My expectations were not absurdly high, but I never would've expected to be served food that would make me sick all night.

To make things worse, I got two notifications at night that someone was trying to log into my OpenTable account, suggesting that a staff member at ElCielo tried to steal my account and money.

This has to be a scam of the...