Royal Kuhio Resort Condos — Hotel in Honolulu

Stayed with friends there about a week ago. Rooms are old and outdated at least the one we were in was (but they were clean). The ones that the year around residents live in might be better, I don't know. You only get one towel for the whole week, unless you want to pay for more. You also only get 4 rolls of TP for the week. That's not enough for 4 people. The A/C in the front room was old and so rusty on the outside. It had a hard time keeping the front room cool enough, and both the A/C's had plastic tubs beneath them that we had to empty daily because they filled with run-off water from the A/C units very quickly. The "sofa bed" was about a 2 to 3-inch old mattress, and you could feel the frame through it. Thank the lord we had brought a blow-up mattress with us, because I was concerned, we would have gotten a room with a futon, which would have been even worse for two people. The pool did not open until 3:00 pm during the entire week we were there, which is ridiculous, because the morning and early afternoon is the time most people want to swim, especially with kids. We went to the pool 3 different times and each time there were something gross floating in the pool. Outside the pool on the pavement, it looked like someone had barfed or something. I told the front desk each time and I have to hope/assume they sent someone to skim/clean the pool. One of our towels was clean, but horribly stained with what looked like poo or period blood. A towel like that should be thrown out, I don't care how much bleaching it gets....gross! We did get a replacement (without having to pay for it) but it took a couple hours to get it. This place is not worth what they charge. It would be worth it to spend a little more money and stay somewhere more updated. The location was in the heart of downtown, so it was noisy at night, but that was ok, it was very convenient to lots of stuff. The staff we encountered were super nice...

Royal Kuhio gets 1 star, and honestly, that’s being generous—mainly because there’s no option for “zero stars but with flair.” Living here is like being in a reality show called “HOA: Special Forces Edition.” Management and most of the security guards aren’t here to make life easier. They’re here to enforce obscure rules with the energy of mall cops auditioning for FBI: Honolulu.

Let’s start with the gym incident: I was wearing flip-flops (yes, footwear was present) and got kicked out like I was barefoot sprinting on the treadmill with a lit cigarette. Apparently, open-toed shoes are a threat to national security.

Then there’s the parking stall drama. My car was between the lines, but apparently not geometrically centered in a way that pleased the Parking Gods. So I got a note on my windshield warning me that my car might be towed for its “posture.” Yes, my car. Wasn’t standing correctly.

They also confiscated my surfboard—from my own parking spot—like it was an illegal weapon. Then threatened to contact my landlord so I pay a fine.

Want to use the grill in the residents-only area? Prepare for a full TSA experience. I had to hand over my ID and a $20 deposit just to turn it on. I was half-expecting a urine sample and a polygraph. Like, sorry, am I grilling burgers or applying for top-secret clearance? They want the same thing just to use the ping pong paddles, but want a ball? Thats an extra 25c because the abysmal HOA fee can't cover that in this economy.

And then there’s the building manager, Pono. I try to be polite. I smile. I say “hi.” In return, I get a look like I just insulted his ancestors and parked crooked while doing it.

Bottom line: If you like overreach, surveillance vibes, and random rule-enforcement that makes no sense, Royal Kuhio might be your dream. But if you enjoy being treated like a functioning adult with rights and flip-flops, maybe...

This was our first time staying here, so from what we've experienced.. here are the pros and cons. Pros: location was great, right downtown. The staff was very nice. Had a large laundry room, plenty of washers and dryers. There is a swimming pool and an outdoor barbecue area, we never used it but it looked nice. There is a gym, could use a few upgrades but not bad. The room itself had a small kitchen with all the amenities needed. We had a corner unit so we were able to look out front from the balcony. Did not have to fight for a spot to park, it came with our room. The bed was very comfortable, and they offered a roll away for our teenager and there was a couch bed as well. Waikiki Beach was a walk away. We were able able to drive around the whole island. Took roughly 3 and 1/2 hours. It was beautiful, if you have time, recommend doing that. We did the pillbox hike, little steep at first but not bad. The view was amazing. Cons: they had a lot of construction going on out front, so it was noisy at night. The elevators had problems quite often, there is three and I feel like there was always one shutdown. The parking garage had its own elevator, so when you got out of your room you did have to go to a different elevator to get to your car. The room could use some updating, and cleaners could pay more attention to detail. Maybe it is just me but I am a little more picky on my cleanliness. I did bring some wipes to wipe down some of the unit that needed it, but I always do that too places I stay. On the patio The AC unit was dripping water into a bucket that would constantly fill up so we had to go dump it. If not the balcony would flood. We were not told about it so that was a little inconvenient constantly dumping. There was no change dispenser in the laundry room, so make sure you bring quarters. Overall what I stay...