The Secret Stash — Restaurant in Crested Butte

Hello, I noticed on the table there was a pamphlet asking to send reviews directly to this email… (Email returned undeliverable)

We travel fulltime in our RV and visit pizza places all over the United States. We are all (4 of us) California natives so we were excited about the owner being from Cali.. and the restaurant came highly recommended. So we rode up from Gunnison with high expectations (maybe too high)

We arrived just after 1pm on Tuesday the 28th and we’re seated in a booth across from the bar. We sat there watching waitress after waitress chatting with each other and the bar tenders for over 25 minutes before Jennifer finally made her way over to get our drink order. By this time we were ready to make our full order (because we had been waiting so long) but she only took our drink order and disappeared… we ordered frozen drinks and saw the bartender put them up to have them run to the table very quickly… however they just sat there on the bar as we watched them melt in the heat, on two occasions I almost just got up to go retrieve them myself as I stood up the second time I saw Jennifer finally heading to the bar to grab them so I waited.

She delivered the 1/2 melted drinks and took our order, we ordered a 16” big Tex pizza and Garlic Cheese bread so the girls went to check out the gift shop. Approximately 30 minutes or so later we finally received or pizza. Mind you we have been at the table over an hour at this point.

The pizza arrived luke warm and soggy, like grease soaked soggy. I will say the garlic Cheese bread was amazing! But the pizza was barely edible, as a matter of fact there was over 1/2 a pizza left when another lady (I did not catch her name) came by the table and asked if we would like a to go box when we declined she seemed very shocked but failed to ask any follow up questions and I had already been asked by my wife to not make a scene. So we just asked for the check as to be on our way… imagine my surprise when Jennifer dropped a $150 bill on the table.

We had eaten at Mario’s in Gunnison, ordered two pizzas a salad and drinks for 1/2 the price on two separate occasions. And enjoyed far better service and amazing pizza. (I recommend you swing down and try it if you haven’t already)

So in summary, the atmosphere is great at your restaurant and there are so many cool things to look at while you are held captive at your table waiting on service. The Garlic Cheesy bread was awesome but the service was atrocious, and the pizza (at least the one we received) was disappointing. The frozen drinks were strong but melted and disappointing by the time we finally received them, and the bill ($150.43) was shocking considering the quality of the food and drinks. I also understand there was a $10 T added, originally we asked for 2 when we placed our order but after the experience I declined paying for the second to advertise your establishment.

Before you assume the restaurant was busy and this would account for the wait I have also attached pictures from the empty dining room along with the receipt.

Hope this helps, but we probably won’t be back to see.

Regards,...

Visited June 2025

Secret Stash Pizza Where Pizza Dreams Come True (and then the leftover come back for breakfast)

Let me just say this...I would absolutely drive out of my way (and probably through a snowstorm with a flat tire) just to eat at this local legend again. That’s how much I love this place. Secret Stash Pizza isn’t just a pizza joint, it’s a whole vibe. Retro, funky, full of personality, and buzzing with the kind of joy that you can’t fake. I am here to tell you that every table was smiling. So much laughter. So much happiness packed into one little pizza paradise.

It was busy the night we went like full-on, no-empty-table kind of busy, but you’d never know it by how smoothly everything ran. The staff was on it. Fun, fast, efficient, and our waiter? Hilarious. He kept checking in, cracking jokes, and just had that perfect high energy that made the whole night feel like a party with great friends.

Now, let’s talk about the real star of the show: the pizza. Oh. My. Goodness. The crust? Perfection. Light and flavorful with just the right bit of chew. And the edges...oh those edges!...had a little seasoning and salt that made them totally snack-worthy on their own. I’m not even ashamed to say I kept sneaking bites of just the crust when no one was looking.

We were out with friends, and all four of us got our own pizzas (because sharing? Please, um no! Not a chance when the food is this good).

We ordered the "You're Driving Me Caprese" (SO SO SO good you would never guess it was vegetarian!). My hubs ordered the Texas Biggin’ which was perfect for a meat lover and had big bold flavors! My girlfriend's hubs had the Spicy Wais since he's spice obsessed and he declared it perfection! He espeically loved the fresh jalapeños on the top!

Every. Single. One. was phenomenal. You know when fresh ingredients and creative flavor combos just come together like magic? That’s what this was. We had leftovers (hallelujah!) and Secret Stash pizza leftovers makes an exceptionally good breakfast the next morning before heading out for a hike.

This place is a must-visit. A no-brainer. A “don’t you dare leave town without trying it” kind of spot. I’m still thinking...

Secret Stash was not just an experience—it was a full-blown descent into the seventh circle of hell, complete with bad vibes, worse service, and a waitress who must’ve trained at the Academy of Petty and Rude.

Let’s start with her attitude: unbothered, unprofessional, and unbelievably disrespectful. Homegirl couldn’t be bothered to refill our water once during the entire meal, like hydration was above her pay grade. And then—oh, THEN—when I accidentally dropped a slice of pizza (which, yes, was mortifying enough on its own), this gremlin in an apron had the nerve to toss out a smug little “rookie mistake.” Really? You see someone on the verge of an anxiety spiral and decide that’s the moment to channel your inner Regina George? Also, who the hell puts pickles on pizza????

It took me THIRTY minutes to mentally and physically recover, and guess what? She just kept lurking around, eyeballing us like she was entitled to a fat tip. Spoiler alert: she was not. After giving the kind of service that would make a DMV clerk look like a saint, she had the audacity to expect 20%? We tipped exactly what she earned: the bare minimum required to escape with our dignity.

But oh no, Secret Stash wasn’t done tormenting us. The real mess began when my friend—who is Hispanic and Native American, in case you’re wondering who this disaster managed to offend next—left his brand new socks behind. We realized it within FIVE MINUTES. We ran back, breathless, ready to reclaim his sacred purchase. And what did the waitress do? LAUGHED. SMIRKED. Pretended she didn’t know anything.

Excuse me?? First you colonize his ancestors, now you steal his damn socks?!

Secret Stash, you have officially unlocked Final Boss Level Villainy. This isn’t just bad service—this is spiritual warfare. Buckle up, because we’re not just leaving a bad review. We’re staging a...