Uma Marisqueira — Restaurant in Lisbon

Here you go ladies and gents. The worst food experience I’ve ever had. I have no idea how to start this review.

First I wanna make clear that I didn’t find this place myself, I was brought by a friend. The idea was to eat these large, shareable soups of seafood. I’ll get to that, but let me begin with the starters.

We ordered bread, butter and patè as well as chorizo & octopus. All of it was horrendous. The bread was the best thing. The pates were - as you can see on the images - store bought and looked like cat food. That’s not a dealbreaker, but my god the taste was horrible. All of us just tried it, no one finished their pate. Also, the butter just came in those small plastic containers, really lazy touch as well.

The chorizo was fine, and the octopus was tasteless and by no means fresh. Needed a lot of vinegar and salt to even begin to have some flavor.

But the cream of the crop, the worst of the worst was the dish everyone apparently comes here for. That has to be the biggest scam ever. Everything in that pot was shamelessly boiled until no more flavor existed. It was incredibly bland and all of the seafood inside was either rubbery or overcooked. The soup contained 0 flavor, and really needed some stock and some body. Imagine running a seafood restaurant and you’re surrounded by nice flavor builders, yet your main dish is bland.

Needless to say, I eat everything, but in this case I just had half a portion of the soup and three breads. We went to a different restaurant afterwards. This is the first time in my life I’ve ever done this, I never leave food I’ve been for - I eat EVERYTHING - but this was horrible.

Then there is the atmosphere. We’re talking 90% tourist and groups, which is definitely obvious by the reviews. There is no doubt in my mind that some of those are fabricated, or that the travel agency encourages a bit of reviews for a discount. The atmosphere was horrible bad.

Thank you however for showing me that I can in fact leave a place without eating everything on my plate....

A scam. I’ve read from various websites and blogs that introduces Uma’s arroz de marisco, all of them praising it as “the best arroz they had in Portugal”. So here we came, with high spirits of course. We ordered a small bottle of white wine, a tentacle (octopus) salad (I have no idea why they call it tentacle salad. Doesn’t sound appetising.), and a seafood rice for two. The wine came first, and it tasted bad. I’m not an expert on wine, but even an amateur like me would know that this is a bad glass of wine. There’s a strange aftertaste, and lacks complexity. Then came the salad, and I’d say the quality of it is much worse than those prepared packs of octopus salad you can get in a supermarket. The octopus was bland, the olive oil was bland, the raw onions spicy. The taste was simply terrible. The worst part? This small plate costs €6! By this time, my mother already had no expectations for the seafood rice, but I still hoped that it would taste average, if not good. While waiting for the rice, we kept observing the expressions of other customers, many of whom were Asians. None of them looked impressed with the food. We also noticed that when the waiters brought the pots of rice to the tables, there was no aroma of seafood. In fact, there was no smell at all. Normally speaking, you could smell the aroma of seafood soups and broths from a certain distance. But the seafood soup really had no smell, no scent, no aroma. While we were expecting for the arrival of despair, the rice finally arrived. We had a bite, and indeed, it was beyond expectation. It was the worst food I’ve had in Portugal and Spain. The broth was bland, and tasted more like canned tomato paste than seafood. The seafood was cheap frozen seafood with no umami. There was only a fishy taste that lingered for over an hour. We left, extremely disappointed. Right now, I’m curious to know how could this restaurant earn 4.4 stars? I was scammed by all the reviews, so that’s why I’m writing this review....

Rating: ★★★☆☆(3 out of 5 stars)

Upon arriving in Lisbon and feeling famished, I stumbled upon Uma, a nearby restaurant that piqued my interest due to its unique concept of serving only one dish. I thought to myself, if they specialize in one dish, it must be exceptional.

Entering the restaurant, I was greeted by a friendly and welcoming team. The staff members were pleasant and created a positive atmosphere throughout my visit. I proceeded to order the pot for two people, curious to see what awaited me.

The preparation of the dish took some time, which indicated that everything was cooked fresh and not pre-prepared. When it arrived, the portion size was generous, and the pot itself was appealing. However, perhaps my expectations were set too high, as the overall culinary experience fell within the realm of "okay" rather than "outstanding."

While the food was satisfactory, it didn't reach the level of excellence I anticipated. The flavors and execution were decent, but they didn't leave a lasting impression. However, it's important to note that the dining experience and ambiance contributed positively to my visit.

Considering my experience at Uma, I personally wouldn't choose to return when I'm in Lisbon again. It felt like a one-time experience for me, primarily due to the average quality of the dish. However, I acknowledge that others might have different preferences and may enjoy the restaurant's unique approach more than I did.

In conclusion, Uma offers a distinctive concept with a friendly staff and a pleasant atmosphere. While the culinary experience did not meet my high expectations, it was still enjoyable. If you're seeking a one-time dining adventure and are intrigued by the restaurant's singular dish concept, Uma might be worth a visit. However, if you're looking for an exceptional and memorable dining experience in Lisbon, there might be other options that better suit your...