lululemon — Local services in Sevierville

Stepping into the Sevierville Lululemon outlet is like willingly throwing yourself into a live-action experiment called “What if a yoga brand sparked mass hysteria?” It’s crowded. It’s loud. It’s basically a suburban safari where the dominant species is tweens in matching pastel sets.

You won’t so much browse as you will hover nervously six inches behind someone’s shoulder, praying they move away from your size before your social anxiety combusts. I tried to look at a pair of Align leggings and got elbowed by a preteen named Mackenzie who looked me dead in the eyes and said, “I saw them first.” I believe her. She meant it.

The racks? Jammed together so tightly that moving through the store feels like a competitive sport. I saw three people try to pass each other between the bras and shorts wall and it ended in a passive-aggressive standoff. One woman whispered “you go” and nobody did. We all just stood there.

Also, can we talk about capacity? There is no way this store is up to fire code. I’ve seen fewer people packed into concerts. If someone sneezes, there’s a real chance a domino effect takes out half the store.

And don’t expect to find your size unless you’re a 0, an XXL, or a time traveler who arrived 15 minutes before opening. The middle range has been ransacked with the urgency of a going-out-of-business sale during a full moon. I spotted a lone size 8 top once, but it was being clutched like the last rose on The Bachelor.

Checkout? Hilarious. It’s a single, serpentine line that stretches all the way back to your childhood regrets. I spent 40 minutes in that line contemplating the futility of modern capitalism and left with a scrunchie.

Final thoughts? Unless you’re into retail-based panic attacks and have the reflexes of a jungle cat, do yourself a favor and don’t go. Or at least bring snacks, noise-canceling headphones, and a...

Hailey rang us up and my friend was trying to figure out what she wanted as she had a several sizes she wasn’t sure about . The instant my friend asked a question she was really rude and impatient . Usually everyone is really nice here , but the cashier was completely rude . Everyone else on the sales floor was nice . I’ve worked in retail for many years and understand that people get stressed however it wasn’t that busy and my friend was very nice and polite . We shop here regularly and have never been treated...

my boyfriend went in to grab 2 pairs of shorts for me, got the wrong size after telling the sales lady my jeans size (2) and she recommended a zero… which is kids size basically. i enter the store 1 minute later to exchange and they say final sale nothing they can do. Very poor customer service and i feel they misled my boyfriend to get extra sales. They recommended I sell...