El Fenix — Restaurant in Arlington

I went with my wife for a lunch special. I will say that my first impression was that prices weren't bad if the food was good. Now understand when I say that I liked the food this isn't really an endorsement considering what I eat at home. In fact I've denied UN inspectors into my kitchen because if they could see the things I do with spam... Never the less the quality of food was something that I wouldn't expect of an apprentice chef if he were training for weeks in my kitchen. You know as if he were studying hard and had a lot of heart. He would study all night listening to 'eye of the tiger' and run up and down stairs reciting how many times to flip the spam sandwich only to finally take the taste and have his kitchen idol me look down at him and berate him like every Gordon Ramsey meme there is. Imagine that quality of food that would garner that response my kitchen and then lower it a few times.

The food came out hot and quick. These are normally two good qualities. The problem was that the plate was extremely hot. Given the time that it took (less than 5 minutes from ordering), I can only assume it was microwaved. The toastada was merely a fired tortilla with crushed avocado spread on it. Maybe that's exactly what they mean when they say guacamole tostada. There was no guac it was avocado only. Normally there's lettuce or at the least pico and maybe a sprinkle of cheese... Sadly the tostada simply arrived on my plate sad and naked, abused even like an orphan left at the convent for the nuns to find. Oh they took her in mind you, they had an oath to keep. But secretly they resented her parents and hoped that they could find her a good home before she became too scared and too jaded only to wake up on morning and find a twisted heart and shell of a teenager. An orphan far too old to hold out hope for a happy reception with a potential parent. Sad tostada orphan.

Next to the pitiful excuse of a tostada was a meat taco that I don't think would have passed taco bell's rigorous quality control measures. I could just imagine the guys making a run for the boarder as the manager threw the taco back at them yelling "You call this a taco! Make it again." and then he throws it on the floor. Actually, if someone collected that taco off of the floor and took it across the street to El Fenix you might come close.... nah that would never happen.

Finally the piece of resistance that held my stomach in check. The one insultingly redeeming fact about the meal. The cheese enchilada. Now when I say that this is the only redeeming thing about the meal understand that this should never be served in a restaurant. It's basically one of those canned enchiladas that's been microwaved. oh not before they spooned a helpful serving of Hormel chili over it. That's right Hormel chili. Nothing says fine Mexican dining like Hormel. Available in the canned section of your local grocery store.

Don't lie about it, be proud. Put it on the menu. Enchaladas, now with 100% Hormel goodness. I would know those blends of herbs and spices anywhere. HMMMMMM Yummy!

That having been said I don't care for canned enchaladas. Part of the reason is if you microwave them... which is really the only option aside from eating them cold... the enchilada becomes hot on the outside, even steaming, but cold on the inside. Like fiery las vegas show girl. She's gone off to make her fortune all bright and shiny only be stuffed in a box and forced to do 6 shows a night just to make rent. oh she knows there something more out there but it kills her inside, slowly, a little piece at a time until there's nothing left but a cold wasteland where the only beat is that of the snow as it beats the inside of her chest. A fierce and hot exterior threatening to explode with the passions of the tropics but holding only the vast tundra of the north in her chest. That's my enchilada, the Hormel ice princess.

So that was my meal. An ice princess tag teaming it with an orphan and rejected cook from Hell's Kitchen. Oh and the soda...

My mother and I would go to El Fenix just for drinks and a snack. It was kind of a mother daughter outing. Now, it was an anniversary of her death. So we finally decided to revisit a memory. The service was terrible!!!! We were brought the appetizer in a reasonable time. At the same time, we were informed that or drinks would be made by the manager "when" she got time. They were getting slammed. Regardless of how slammed they were, it still should have been first come, first served. Over an hour later, the manager brought us our drinks. A margarita over the rocks and a semi frozen margarita. I happened to glance over at our waiter delivering another table's (who arrived long after we did), entre. The waiter caught me looking. He turned quickly, and as if it were the most natural thing, he asked if we were ready to order. This challenged my self-control. We said no, we wanted our ticket and the manager. When the manager arrived, we voiced our distaste for being told we would be taken care of when she got time. And because of the time we had already waited to be waited on. While noticing a table just across from us was being served just minutes after arriving. She apologized profusely and to compensate us, she would pay for our nachos. We had the nachos and added beef for an additional $3.00. We had barely touched them because they were very greasy and not appetizing in the least. They were $8.99 + $3.00 = $11.98. $8.99 is what she paid. We paid for our drinks, which were over $40.00, and the extra $3 for the beef on the nachos. The place was crowded. But as we walked out, the manager shadowed us all the way out, apologizing over and over. She was almost clinging to us as we left. Telling us to come back soon. But, this had been a special place where my mother and I would come together, have a few laughs, and a FEW frozen giant margaritas with the gater around the rim of the glass, and an order of CRAZY nachos, great service, and lots of laughs. She passed on on Memorial Day 2005. I still miss her after nearly 20 years. That was the reason for our visit to El Phoenix. I hadn't been able to go back since I lost her. It was our special place. Because of what happened, I realized two things. 1. You can not go back. And 2. Customer service no longer exists. But I was proven #2 is wrong. We had the pleasure at Red Lobster on hwy 26 in North Richland Hills and had the BEST waitresses ever!!!! She was very cheerful, friendly, and went out of her way to make us feel comfortable and deserving of her service. Our visit was both pleasing in service and delicious food. Also,...

Just had another bad experience with the South Cooper location in Arlington. This is 2nd with delivery and we’ve also one that we picked up ourselves – this is all within last 16 months. While their standard Tex Mex is average to and affordable, me and my wife both really like their tortilla soup better than any of the others we frequent regularly – better than Pappasito’s, Uncle Julios or Gloria’s, however they DO NOT PROPERLY QUALITY CHECK their “to-go” orders. So when we want soup we order from this location. Today we ordered soups, salsa, tortillas, sopapilla and appetizer duo-combo. The one item that keeps getting missed on all our mishaps is the broth which is what you need to properly enjoy tortilla soup. Since we forgive them for prior mishaps and have been doing better, it happened again today. I personally spoke with the Store Manager, Trang Nguyen and their shift manager, Manual Rodriquez. Both offered no practical solution except for me to drive back up to the store and get fresh soups made. #1 at this point I would not trust them not to mess with re-order and #2 I’m not driving 20 minutes across town after a day’s long worth of work. They both blamed the delivery driver and said they spoke to the person who packed the meal who swore the item was added. Ok, I’m not buying this one – what reason in the world would a delivery driver do with chicken broth? The answer, there is none! I tried to get them to give me a refund or send me a gift card for the full meal – that would not make it 100%, but would at least show some sincere empathy and apology for a household who has supported them for over 20 years. So, looks like we will be going elsewhere for tortilla soup going forward considering this has happened on multiple occasions. If you go order delivery or pick-up check your order before accepting it – I promise you if you don’t there is a good chance you will be disappointed. Due to multiple mishaps, I’ve now decided to take it to the next step and have a call into their corporate office to see if they are willing to listen and take action. Shame on this particular location for lack of professionalism and care for those who keep them...